Guests not trying (outfit)

kaylee*

PasturesNew wrote: »

Well, aren't you the rude snob... not everybody's got the money to spend on new things like you have ..... probably to only ever wear them once because they don't get out much.

Maybe they WERE making an effort.

It's just a wedding..... a few brief hours in one day.....

I'm not a snob. My outfit cost all together - £15. Dress £2 from Ebay, fascinator - 99p
other bits and pieces from charity shops or things i already had, just bought new tights and a new mascara.

I took the time to get my outfit together, why can't other people? the meal must have cost a few quid and in the evening there was a big hot and cold buffet.

i'm not rude, it's people who can't be bothered to smarten themselves up for their friends that are rude!

kaylee*

do i sound like an old bag :rotfl: i'm 46.

some people wore lovely dresses and shoes, then some just showed up as if they hadn't made an effort at all.

some just had normal clothes, like a top with trousers. like you would go shopping in. they didn't look like they were at a wedding

It was lovely to make an effort to look nice for the day and i think it shows respect for the couple, who have paid a lot of money for you to be there.

people turning up in jeans and t shirts shows lack of respect to me.

like they can't be bothered.

poet123

I also think it shows a lack of respect. A wedding is a special occasion and I can't believe that there is anyone who couldn't beg or borrow something suitable from a friend or relative if they had nothing suitable themselves. Not to bother, or to castigate those who do, shows a lack of empathy or care for the feelings of others, and is extremely rude imo.

TheSeventh

I think that possibly OP doesn't know the whole story about the dressed-down guests. I mean, yes, perhaps they were just being lazy/disrespectful, but we don't know that. Anything could have happened!

They could have had luggage stolen and been left only with travelling clothes. Or a laundry disaster might have occurred. They might have misinterpreted a "just be yourselves!" comment about dress. We don't know that they weren't just as mortified by how out of place they may have seemed as OH was.

The thing is, I would DEFINITELY want my best friends to be at my wedding, even if they had to pull a Vicar of Dibley and turn up in their pyjamas. So perhaps these people tried to contact the wedding party and regretfully decline at the last minute, but were told "no you have to be there, it's our wedding! we don't care what you wear!" or maybe even (from some of the threads in here) "you CAN'T decline! we spent MONEY on your meal!!!"

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I've made fashion errors, where a disaster has occurred and I've been forced into a hurriedly scraped-together Plan C outfit. I've also totally failed to gauge the 'smartness' of the occasion and horrendously over- or underdressed at an event. Sorry if that makes me imperfect. But I've been there for my friends/family and I've tried to put a brave face on things and enjoy myself despite feeling AWFUL about myself and convinced that every cow in the room is judging me.

Have a little human compassion, people!

Stephb1986_2

I'm not a snob or anything but judging from my mil2b's wedding I will be putting formal attire on as a dress code, we had some child of mil2b's brothers wife turn up in a pair of blue reebok tracksuit bottoms and a stripey fred perry jumper and rockport shoes. Others turned up in jeans and tshirts etc, not sure what the invite said as we didn't get one (a hard copy) we just got told the date time place etc lol.

I have always made an effort when going to occasions it doesn't cost much Asda is cheap for clothes, primark, charity shops or even friends.

Steph xx

SUESMITH_2

i enjoy getting dressed up, get v few chances now really.

i just keep my eye out in the sales. the main reason i bought the dress was not only cos it was cheap although it went down to 7 quid after i bought mine but cos i knew i had things to go with it so wouldn't need owt else new.

i agree about interviews

minerva_windsong

I'm another one who thinks jeans are OK for an evening reception, if worn with a smart shirt/top and nice shoes. But I wouldn't wear them for a wedding ceremony and I don't think I know anyone who would - as others have said for me and my family/friends a wedding is a reason to make a bit of an effort and dress up, but not necessarily to spend lots of money (unless you want to and can afford to).

That said, even though our guests are glad of any excuse to get dolled up (well I do come from a family of Scousers ) if people turned up in 'work' clothes/travel clothes etc I genuinely wouldn't mind - I'd just be happy that they'd turned up at all and we got to share our day with the people we loved.

RainbowChild_2

dw85 wrote: »

You dont have to spend a fortune.

The other point that has been missed are charity shops or carboots. Clothes are cheap, you are helping a good cause and so what if you only wear it once.

THis is a great point - twenty years ago - back in the day :rotfl:

I was Chief Bridesmaid for my best childhood friend, I found a wonderful outfit at a car boot sale -a cullotte all in one suit, I changed the buttons, added a belt and hat and it looked great!

2 years ago we were invited as evening guests and it was a very well to do affair I went to Wallis and found a dress reduced from £40 to £10

My most recent MSE haul is that I am to be Matron of Honour in October for my sister and have got a fabulous Debenhams Debut dress, designer shoes and fascinator for less than £30 including postage! :T

It can be done - being well dressed doesn't mean spending a fortune.

jtr2803

No problem with jeans and a shirt for evening reception but for the ceremony....sorry, No! I refuse to believe people in general don't own anything remotely smart or that can be dressed up.

I don't have any 'formal' attire so when I got invited to my friends I wedding I went to Primark and got a £12 dress....oh and by the way, I am 5'3" and a size 18 and I managed to find something so I am sure others can too.

jtr2803

PasturesNew wrote: »

Not everybody does though. I don't. I don't go out often enough to have/need something nice - and if I had something once it no longer fits. I get invited "somewhere nice" about once every 6-10 years. Then there's different seasons, so you might have a nice summer dress and it's a sub-zero winter wedding, so still got nothing.

I splashed out for a wedding in 2006, I've not worn the dress since. If I get invited to another wedding in the next 10 years it won't fit any more as my size/weight changes so often.... and I've no shoes for it, never owned a hat/fascinator, no handbag to go with it either.

You clearly have access to a computer.....not heard of Ebay?