Guests not trying (outfit)

split_second

Idiophreak wrote: »

Just caught up with this thread and it's quite an interesting read.

TBH, I feel quite sorry for the people on here who think they'll waste money on an outfit they'll never have the chance to wear again...I mean, do they really have so few friends that they're never expecting to go to another wedding, they never expect to attend a funeral, they've got no interest in job interviews...or even just don't anticipate having any occasion to go out for a nice meal with friends, or OH etc? To be honest, I just don't believe it.

The people I've seen dressed scruffy at weddings aren't people who can't afford it or have other issues. They're people who either a) just don't care or b) have never been told they're supposed to care.

I've nothing against jeans...and I think you can look quite smart in jeans and a shirt...*if you want to*...the point is, people just aren't making the effort to *try* and look smart.

People wore a variety of stuff to our wedding, but pretty much everyone looked like they'd made an effort to try and look nice, which I think is the main thing...

I personally didn't have a smart pair of pants till I got an interview for the job I have now, my weight fluctuates quite a bit and because I didn't have to dress smart for work I didn't need any. I still don't own a suit jacket, no one at the group assessment for the job I work at now wore one either.
Shirt and pants is plenty enough effort

LEJC

Dont you just love it when an old thread gets a new viewing.....

Surely you know the people that you will be inviting to your wedding,and have at least an understanding of what type of clothes they wear ie if they are not "suit" types would you want them to go out and buy sonething especially for the day....or do you accept that how they dress makes them who they are?

To be honest as long as the bride and groom are comfortable with what their guests wear then thats all that matters...as a fellow guest I think its not your place to pass judgement on the others attire....

Pinzy

I don't want any denim at the ceremony, smart denim is allowable for the reception. Obviously I'd prefer everyone looking fabulous in smart attire but cash/comfort are valid issues.

Being as I need to shop from stores subtitled "big and long", swapping clothes isn't an option. I have this year however been picking up a few bits from Ebay, and was glad I had when a couple of wedding invites turned up.
The most recent outfit to a wedding consisted of an ebay dress I'd gotten for £1 (browse Collection only within a small radius), matched with a cardi I'd bought over 5 years ago and never worn. My shoes and handbag didn't match, but I figured that people may be more interested in the bride and groom than my shoes and handbag

I think the valid point is that there is time to get some sort of outfit sorted. Skint or not, if you start trawling ebay/markets/friends' wardrobes as soon as you get that invite, then you'll be able to sort summat out.

Idiophreak

split_second wrote: »

Shirt and pants is plenty enough effort

Yeah, I'm sure it is...the fact that you thought about whether it was enough effort or not was kinda my point.

Personally, the people I've seen that I've thought "really?" have turned up unshaven (costs nothing) with scruffy hair (costs nothing), football shirt or a hoody, scruffy jeans, unclean clothes (costs nothing) and muddy trainers/skate shoes. It's no shocker that these people are also the ones that answer their phones during the ceremony or pop out for a fag. Like I said, it's not that they can't afford to make an effort and I really don't believe they're "bad people" or anything...it's just that the thought of how to dress or behave at a wedding never occurs to them.

Scotsbride

having just tied the knot a put on the invites smart their were a few guest that could of made a bit more of an effort. namely jeans and cords which I don't consider smart. And yes these people could afford outfits. It makes me mad reading some of these comments. I couldn't afford to spend loads on outfits for a 60 wedding aniversary and my brothers wedding managed to get separt outfits for both inclding shoes and tights and earring £30 both dresses are from charity shops one was £3.50! most people can afford a £1 or 50p for a top or a shirt etc and can use something in their wardrobe the truth is they can't be borthered yet they will turn up for the free bozz and food!

piglet25

How about the flip side of this? I went to a wedding in smart clothes and made an effort and felt completely overdressed. The bride looked like she had just fell in off the night bus with her hair a mess, make up a mess, dress was from primark and she had all her tatoos on display. And it wasn't because they were short of money either, it was because they didn't want to spend their money. Oh, and guests had to pay for their own meals and buffet too - such class!

kmmr

I must admit I was one of the culprits at a wedding years ago. It was a beach wedding of our downstairs neighbours.

They said a number of time to us 'don't dress up, it's super casual and we are going for lunch with family after and then just having people over to the house after for some drinks.' So as I was literally dropping in for the wedding, and would then see them later at home, I went in shorts and a t-shirt - just what I was normally wearing that day (this was when I lived in Sydney).

When I got there there were only about 10 people, and they were nicely, but not formally, dressed. I was so self-conscious! I hid behind my boyfriend, who was wearing a smart shirt and nice jeans. I got the 'looks', and when we went later I put on something nicer. It was very embarassing..

It's made me realise that it is always better to be over-dressed rather than under-dressed. Even if it's quite casual, you just look better than other people, and people may just think you like being more formal. Whereas if you look scruffy - I think it has a chance of looking disrespectful.

74jax

piglet25 wrote: »

The bride looked like she had just fell in off the night bus with her hair a mess, make up a mess, dress was from primark and she had all her tatoos on display. And it wasn't because they were short of money either, it was because they didn't want to spend their money. Oh, and guests had to pay for their own meals and buffet too - such class!

piglet25 wrote: »

Oh, and guests had to pay for their own meals and buffet too - such class!

But surely you're going to wedding of a friend, where they bought there dress doesn't matter does it? I've got mine off Ebay and I can't imagine a guest of mine saying 'well she got it off Ebay'..... maybe I'm naive?

I think people become very critical at weddings and I'm not sure why.

So what if her hair and make up was a mess, maybe her hair-do fell out of place or her make up went wrong? What i mean is it's your friend so does it matter? So she has tattoos, as do a lot of people, I have several and all my friends know and my dress will show one of them, but it hasn't crossed my mine to cover it up.

As for being asked to pay for a meal, I don't understand your 'such class' comment? you are invite to go, not forced to go. If you didn't want to pay for the meal then you decline, if you don't mind then you go? Yes it's not normal, but I've been to small parties after a wedding where it's been in a pub and a set meal and you choose to go and pay or not. I don't think class has anything to do with it.

Our wedding is very different to a formal wedding, like you say, not because of lack of money, but purely we don't want to spend it on the wedding.

I just think in this day and age, we can be happy for a couple, despite what they wear or what there wedding day ideas are; they have chosen you to spend it with them and I don't think criticising a bride and groom is nice when they have invited you. Just the same as I don't think other guests should judge other guests.