Son's problem at interview

bap98189

Making eye contact is a sign of confidence. People who constantly look down or away from the person they are talking to appear to be shy or have no confidence. We're not talking about staring the interviewer down, but just acting the way you would during a normal conversation.

What the interviewers were wearing is irrelevant. So what if the people interviewing him were wearing low-cut tops. Women are entitled to wear whatever they like and still expect to be treated professionally. It's not difficult, and if your son can't deal professionally with people in low-cut tops then I suggest he focusses his mind on the interview a little more in future rather than on the interviewer's cleavage. he is going to encounter plenty of women during the course of his working life who will be wearing all sorts of clothes.

getmore4less

geminilady wrote: »

My son is twenty and recently left college so is quite new to interviews.At his last one he was interviewed by three ladies all wearing low cut tops so was looking anywhere but there ,but he was pulled up for not making eye contact.Just wondered what he should have said?also any advice for him would be greatly appreciated he is looking for work in IT.

what sort of IT?

What qualifications and experience does he have?

Some jobs are much more people jobs than others.


AS for interpersonal skill observe when you talk to him and he talks to other people?

Is he naturaly an eye contact person or does he tend to look away not focus on the eyes/face.

The use of social media,mobiles a lot more comunication is done now not face to face so for some it is not natural to do the eye thing.

It is not critical to be constant but it is particulary important for parts of a conversation where you need to be convincing,

when being asked a question is shows you are listening.
when covering key points in the answers it helps with believability.

Also with multiple interviewers you need to connect with all of them especialy during answers, it also shows you are interested that they are listening to you.

If asking questions it i part of the direction if you want one person to answer you direct the question with eye contact.

m-bee

LOL.
I don't know what type of job it was but women wearing low cut tops isn't the problem. The job market is really tough and they will cut some one off for the smallest thing. If he can't make eye contact in an interview it shows that he is not a good candidate for any customer service jobs or any jobs where he has to actually talk to any co workers.
One of my first real job interviews was when I was 19 at a doctor's surgery and I was answering the question "tell me about yourself" they cut me off within 30 seconds because I wasn't making eye contact. I was upset at the time becuase I was thinking of my answer whilst talking and that was "my excuse" for not making eye contact.
But I took that critiscm and worked on it and now I have no problem. He just needs to take more notice of his body language whilst talking to people.

Idiophreak

geminilady wrote: »

My son is twenty and recently left college so is quite new to interviews.At his last one he was interviewed by three ladies all wearing low cut tops so was looking anywhere but there ,but he was pulled up for not making eye contact.Just wondered what he should have said?also any advice for him would be greatly appreciated he is looking for work in IT.

Hang on...Not one, not two, but THREE women interviewing for a job in IT!? Well something's not right here...;)

Wyndham

Idiophreak wrote: »

Hang on...Not one, not two, but THREE women interviewing for a job in IT!? Well something's not right here...;)

Yeah - they let women work in IT these days!

getmore4less

Idiophreak wrote: »

Hang on...Not one, not two, but THREE women interviewing for a job in IT!? Well something's not right here...;)

Some sectors are dominated by women.

joannaspanner

Wyndham wrote: »

Yeah - they let women work in IT these days!

They let women work? :eek:

WestonDave

Lesson one of the workplace - men have dress codes, women generally just have to remain on the right side of the public decency laws!

OK so that is overstating it a bit, but he will need to get used to the fact that in a lot of workplaces women are dressing like his interviewers and he will need to be able to ignore it especially if they end up being his line manager etc.

He will get more confident as he gets used to the interviews - eventually answering the same old questions becomes routine and not something new and scary. In large part it will come down to how he gets on with the interviewer - reality is that 3 ladies in low cut tops are not going to gain rapport with someone that finds that uncomfortable to be around.

teffers

joannaspanner wrote: »

They let women work? :eek:

lol

Advice on here will always be slanted due to the gender of the majority of forum users, but, it never ceases to amaze me when women wear revealing clothing to work. I mean it's like a bloke wearing cycling shorts to the office.:eek:

wantsajob

MissSarah1972 wrote: »

is that not just being shy?

Indeed, before the condition was recognised many people who would now be diagnosed with it, would have been misinterpreted as being shy, or worse socially inept. It's certainly something I experienced myself. However, it is quite a lot more than that, and the condition can manifest itself very differently across people, and in varying severities. Some can actually be quite chatty. But the underlying causes are all the same though.

The condition itself is often missed. Gary McKinnon was not diagnosed until he came to the attention of the media after his crimes and an expert on the condition saw him. At this point he was 42 years old. Unfortunately this is not all that unusual.

A good description is available here http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/what-is-asperger-syndrome.aspx