Son's problem at interview

geminilady

My son is twenty and recently left college so is quite new to interviews.At his last one he was interviewed by three ladies all wearing low cut tops so was looking anywhere but there ,but he was pulled up for not making eye contact.Just wondered what he should have said?also any advice for him would be greatly appreciated he is looking for work in IT.

KiKi

geminilady wrote: »

At his last one he was interviewed by three ladies all wearing low cut tops so was looking anywhere but there ,but he was pulled up for not making eye contact.

I don't understand. Their eyes aren't on their breasts (I assume), so if he wasn't look 'there' then he could have made eye contact. He didn't, so their feedback is valid, surely?

Am I being completely stupid?

Either way, there's nothing he should have said about that. Take the feedback and move on. Did they give any other feedback about his experience / attitude / qualifications to help him for the next interview?

Wyndham

Or maybe he was looking 'there' and that's why he lost points?

OK, lets be sensible - has he had any advice on interview techniques from college or anywhere else? It will be useful.

And, I know you're his mother and care, but he is 20 so needs to do things for himself... sorry, I know that's tough!

McKneff

Not sure what he could have said but there is quite a long way between cleavages and eyes.

He should have made eye contact. Focus on the eyes and not the breasts next time.

(bless him) he's only young.......tell him, eye, focus, eye, focus,

They are experienced people and to be quite honest they should have known better. Very unprofessional of them. He would probably have been embarrassed and they would have realised this.

If he doesnt get the job, tell him to phone their boss and tell him exactly why he didnt feel comfortable with 3 wanton hussies and 6 breasts in front of him........:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

geminilady

KiKi wrote: »

I don't understand. Their eyes aren't on their breasts (I assume), so if he wasn't look 'there' then he could have made eye contact. He didn't, so their feedback is valid, surely?

Am I being completely stupid?

Either way, there's nothing he should have said about that. Take the feedback and move on. Did they give any other feedback about his experience / attitude / qualifications to help him for the next interview?

I know the feedback is valid but can understand why he looked away,they did say he looked nervous which is understandable and I suppose he will grow more confidant as he attends more interviews,he is not a shy person usually .Do they usually give feedback to help in other interviews? not had one for years and never had a career anyway so as long as you looked presentable it was can you start Monday?those were the days.

KiKi

SevenCL wrote: »

What kind of job was it that eye contact is a relevant skill?

Any role where you have to build relationships with other people, I'd imagine.

I'm sure that wasn't the reason he didn't get the job, anyway - it's feedback for him, but I doubt they failed him purely on that aspect!

cazziebo

SevenCL wrote: »

What kind of job was it that eye contact is a relevant skill?

Very few jobs don't require good communication skills. Non verbal communication is key to this, and is under particular scrutiny in an interview situation.

Might be useful for your son to rehearse this with someone (he's not familiar with). Think about posture, eye contact, gestures etc. Try videoing it on an iPhone.

It can be difficult for people of any age to act naturally in what's a pressured artificial situation like an interview.

KiKi

geminilady wrote: »

I know the feedback is valid but can understand why he looked away,they did say he looked nervous which is understandable and I suppose he will grow more confidant as he attends more interviews,he is not a shy person usually .Do they usually give feedback to help in other interviews? not had one for years and never had a career anyway so as long as you looked presentable it was can you start Monday?those were the days.

Hee! Yes, things have definitely changed.

There's a knack to interviews as well, and I'm sure he will grow more confident. If he got through to interview stage, then I would ask for feedback. They don't have to give any, and may not have the time, but it's always worth asking.

He could email with a 'thank you for your time' and 'I'd really like to do better in the future, learn from the experience' etc, then 'do you have any feedback for me to help me understand what I can do better for future interviews or help me understand which criteria I didn't meet?' In my experience employers are more likely to respond to something nice like that than an email demanding feedback!

Hope he finds something soon.
KiKi

geminilady

Wyndham wrote: »

Or maybe he was looking 'there' and that's why he lost points?

OK, lets be sensible - has he had any advice on interview techniques from college or anywhere else? It will be useful.

And, I know you're his mother and care, but he is 20 so needs to do things for himself... sorry, I know that's tough!

A little but obviously not enough and I did not go with him and hold his hand!

1940sGal

geminilady wrote: »

My son is twenty and recently left college so is quite new to interviews.At his last one he was interviewed by three ladies all wearing low cut tops so was looking anywhere but there ,but he was pulled up for not making eye contact.Just wondered what he should have said?also any advice for him would be greatly appreciated he is looking for work in IT.

Are you suggesting he can't make eye contact without looking down their tops? What a ludicrous notion. He should have been perfectly capable of making eye contact.

1940sGal

SevenCL wrote: »

What kind of job was it that eye contact is a relevant skill?

Pretty sure it's more about manners than skill.