Touched up at the doctor's!!

Fire_Fox

jolfc

zaksmum wrote: »

Oh dear. I'm amazed that this thread has turned into a battlefield.

The disabled man had every right to be at the doctor's - his carer wasn't doing his job adequately. Putting his hand on my leg once was bad enough - twice was unacceptable.

If my husband had been with me he'd have reacted very badly so I'm glad he wasn't.

I do feel ashamed though for shouting at the man (who smiled at me throughout), but I was just so astonished that he'd touch me up in a crowded doctor's waiting room!

Words that were commonly used in the past have become offensive today - my old nan used to have a black dog called the N word! - and when I started school many years ago, my mother got a letter saying the uniform had to be N***** brown!

And of course the words to describe those who are mentally disabled bear no resemblance to those used decades ago!

The world has changed!

just what i thought the carer should have been more alert as the man was unaware that he was doing the wrong thing.

londonsurrey

jolfc wrote: »

just what i thought the carer should have been more alert as the man was unaware that he was doing the wrong thing.

Sudden thought that the carer was distracted, ogling a woman on the other side of him!

loulou123

I work in a care home with elderly mentally ill clients - dementia, schizophrenia etc, and the man in question doesn't sound like he was being watched very closely, for him to have 2 chances of touching you. And I don't think you should feel bad OP for shouting at him, as you weren't to know.

I take my clients out a lot, and once one of mine used the N word - at a coloured person, he had never said it before inside the home, or outside, so i could nothing to prevent it happening. But apart from this I have never had a bad experiance coming from my client themselves, but I have had plenty of members of the public who have been completely rude to my clients - I had one women tell me I "shouldn't bring someone out who looks like that" - they had had a stroke!

It just annoys me that these people have quite often had good jobs, fought for their countries etc, yet due to an illness that is in way their fault, they are (thankfully only by the minority) considered to be freaks - this comment isn't aimed at OP in anyway.

JCP

bazster wrote: »

Apparently not, in this context:

http://web.archive.org/web/20070320214418/http://www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/yourspace/worstwords/

Without particularly wanting to add grist to the mill, I've had a look at the list and had no idea that at least 5 of these words could be considered offensive.
At the end of the day, we all need to get along, and most rational people don't deliberately set out to cause offence, but there do appear to be a lot of semi-professional offence takers out there.

We have a lot of rights in this world, but the right not to be offended most certainly isn't one of them.

Very well done to the OP on the way she dealt with it.
Personally I'd have thumped the bloke before getting to the stage of finding out what his issues were.
The carer needs to do his job and there are ways and means of doing this as have already been described.
The surgery should probably be made aware so that they can schedule his visits at less busy times where possible.
This could have been much worse (eg if he had assaulted a rape victim), and measures need to be put in place to prevent it happening in future whilst allowing for the man's own medical needs to be catered for.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

The person doing the touching would have needed medical treatment had he laid a finger on me.


Wouldn't have mattered, even if I had been told he had 'issues' - self defence comes above political correctness or understanding.

marisco_2

How busy was the doctors surgery waiting room? I ask because this mans carer would have been wise to arrange for him to be seated on the end of an aisle and then sat the other side of him. That way you wouldn't have been touched up.

It must be very difficult to cover all eventualities when caring for someone with complex needs. However a bit of proactive thinking could have saved you from being groped and the ensuing embarrasement for both parties.

j.e.j.

JCP wrote: »

We have a lot of rights in this world, but the right not to be offended most certainly isn't one of them.

That's very true. And what's classed as offensive in one country or culture may not be in others.

Re the original post:
If this is typical of the guy's behaviour and lack of social skills, it's possible, nay likely, that he's going to end up being punched on the nose by someone. It's surely in his interests, never mind the poor victim's, that this is dealt with appropriately.

zaksmum

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

The person doing the touching would have needed medical treatment had he laid a finger on me.


Wouldn't have mattered, even if I had been told he had 'issues' - self defence comes above political correctness or understanding.

But how bad would you then feel if the man proves to be so severely mentally disabled that he has no idea that what he's doing is wrong?

zaksmum

marisco wrote: »

How busy was the doctors surgery waiting room? I ask because this mans carer would have been wise to arrange for him to be seated on the end of an aisle and then sat the other side of him. That way you wouldn't have been touched up.

It must be very difficult to cover all eventualities when caring for someone with complex needs. However a bit of proactive thinking could have saved you from being groped and the ensuing embarrasement for both parties.

The waiting room was very busy. The man sat next to me and his carer next to him, but there was no interaction between them to indicate they were even together.

I'd noticed he'd stared at me intently just before he sat down, but had no reason to feel concerned at that stage. I just couldn't believe it when he started feeling my leg!:eek: