i think my marriage is breaking up

Jennie_2

Having a rubbishy time myself at the moment but am thinking of you.

Call on family and friends to be with you at this time and just take little steps - looking at the big picture is always scary.

Take care you!

em84_2

at least as he walk out the door he said love you and i pick u up at 2pm for the hosp. got to be a good sign.

bunty109

((((em))))

Sometimes men find things hard to deal with and retreat into their shells a bit. You've obviously a lot to deal with at present so just try and deal with tomorrow and then perhaps try and talk to him.

Take care and good luck for tomorrow xx

MrsTinks

OK him saying I love you as he walked out was a good sign
Him walking out the door wasn't ideal but ok... blokes struggle with dealing with stuff sometimes...
You are obviously very very scared and stressed right now and he has to know that, he may be just as scared himself of what the worst case scenario is. Don't make any rash decisions tonight or in the next week. Tomorrow after your appointment no matter if it's good or bad news then the two of you sound like you need some alone time. Book a hotel - turn off the mobiles - contact work and explain the health scare to them, they WILL understand! - and talk to each other, hug each other and hold hands a lot. If you both decide that this is no longer what you want then so be it, but try to remain friends. You might need his support through this if it's bad news and all his good qualities haven't gone away even if you have stopped loving him.
Chin up chuck, have a hot bath and take a good book to bed, one you love reading and that makes you laugh. Put some lavender on your pillow and try to get a good nights sleep...

Thinking of you

The_Geek

Men do struggle. As a man I can certainly understand. We don't deal well with problems we cannot solve. Women are good with the whole sympathy thing. Men just see a problem to fix and it kills us when we can't. Especially if its with someone you love.

My OH has an eating disorder. If I make a fuss then I'm just bringing a constant reminder and making eating an issue. If I bite my tongue then I'm an insensitive git who doesn't care. I can't win and I can't deal with that very well either. A few times I've wanted to simply leave.

skyrocket

I sorry but I think he is being very selfish. Em needs all the support she can get now to focus on her. I have been where you are now Em both with the lump and also the man. I am sick of people making excuses for mens emotionally !!!!!! behaviour. Why should 'men struggle' to deal with stuff. They will continue to 'struggle' while people make excuses for this kind of behaviour. Its called learned helplessness. You have my thought Ems I hope it all goes well tomorrow for you hun.
xxx

Avoriaz

Em, my wife is a breast cancer survivor of 11 years so I have some experience of your situation.

Try not to despair and remember that many lumps in the breast are non cancerous and easily dealt with. If it is cancer, survival rates are far higher today than in the past, especially when it is diagnosed and treated at an early stage.

My wife was lucky. She was diagnosed very early, had a lumpectomy, a few months of radiation therapy and five years on Tamoxifen. She is fit and well today with just a small scar and hardly ever thinks about her brush with cancer.

I don’t know the history of your marriage and relationship with your husband but surely the last thing he should be doing right now is walking out the door, even if it is just for one night. Could he not have slept in a spare room or on the sofa if things are difficult between you?

The Samaritans are very helpful if you are lonely and need to talk to someone. 08457 90 90 90.

Take care and good luck.

LouBlue

em84 wrote: »

going for a test tomorrow cos i got a lump on mu boob. i feeling lonely. i want him to support me more. we dont talk much. i think i falling out of love with him

Good luck with the test hun and I hope everything works out for you and your hubby. Take care. xxx

em84_2

Morning all,
He went last night to give myself a little bit of space and to relax. i got a cold aswell so everything was getting on top of me. he text me and we gonna talk tomorrow after the hosp.
he very quite when something is wrong and he been like that for a few days now. he told me last night he is worry bout me, he know i am scared and he know i try to carry on like nothing is happen.
We going away for a family wedding tomorrow night so at least we getting away from home. My birthday friday and i told him i didnt want any thing maybe once he us his heart and get me something lol never know.
I feel like i done something wrong to make this lump and make all the trouble.
try sleeping last night but kept looking at the mobile in case he text me. is it only me that does that??? lol
i wash and dress and ready to go out but it only 6am!!!!

Thank you everyone

droopsnout

Thinking of you, em.