Trying for a Baby Part 8

mrsj28

Hi Jox - thanks for sharing your story and congratulations on your positive result Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

tinkwings

Jox - Huge Congrats xxx

tinkwings

On a dress making roll just made her this one in my fav fabric

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.335979409825559.76386.262043163885851&type=1

codemonkey

Sorry Jox, I get what you're trying to do and I'm glad you got your BFP but I have been trying longer than 10 months, so all your well meaning post said to me was, oh look, someone else who got pregnant before me. Look, for the most part, we know it can take over a year. Does that make it easier? Not really. It makes it worse if you've gone past the year and still no hint of a BFP and people going on about how it took 10 months, well...

I don't want to upset anyone but I'm upset and I need to get this out before it festers and turns bitter. This month I got AF just as I was leaving the building to go to the funeral of a wonderful man who died too soon. He had no children either and it just brought it home that this is probably never going to happen. I cant keep avoiding friends with kids and since everyone else in my family gets pregnant every time they drop their knickers, I get no understanding there. If my mum makes another ticking clock sound at me I will break down and tell everything. My granny used to say "What's for ye'll no go by ye" (for non Scots - if its meant to be, it will happen) and maybe its time for me to accept this and get on with my life.

Obviously I'm heartbroken , emotionally drained and I don't intend to give up altogether but I'm fed up of making my life miserable for something that just isn't happening. I'm sick of not taking my anti-histamines and suffering just because its bad for TTC, sick of monitoring caffeine and alcohol and sick of staying in a job I hate because the maternity policy is good.

Sorry if I've brought anyone down.

findingmyownway

codemonkey wrote: »

If my mum makes another ticking clock sound at me I will break down and tell everything

((hugs)) code. I still lurk on here and couldn't read and run. So sorry you're feeling down.

The bit above stood out to me though - would it be so bad to tell your mum the truth? Maybe you'll enjoy her support then, rather than the constant digs adding to your stress levels?

codemonkey

findingmyownway wrote: »

((hugs)) code. I still lurk on here and couldn't read and run. So sorry you're feeling down.

The bit above stood out to me though - would it be so bad to tell your mum the truth? Maybe you'll enjoy her support then, rather than the constant digs adding to your stress levels?

I have actually tried. Told her about the prolactinaemia and what that meant but she still goes on about it - it took them 16 years to conceive me (although no trouble with the others) so you would think she'd understand.but she still seems to think its cause we dont try or something. She hears what she wants to.

Feel a bit better now thats all out. Phew.

findingmyownway

codemonkey wrote: »

I have actually tried. Told her about the prolactinaemia and what that meant but she still goes on about it - it took them 16 years to conceive me (although no trouble with the others) so you would think she'd understand.but she still seems to think its cause we dont try or something. She hears what she wants to.

Feel a bit better now thats all out. Phew.

How frustrating. Maybe your OH could have a word? Or maybe having a massive blow-up at her is inevitable!

I have an aunt who took years and 8 IVF attempts to conceive my cousin. She spent years watching everyone around her have 2-3 babies and it must have been terrible. However... Has this made her a considerate person when it comes to ttc? No! Not in a million years. She has constantly asked when I'm going to have kids, tick tock and all that, even when 1) I was in relationship with "snipped" man who already had kids and 2) when I was single after that relationship ended. Luckily for her there was no situation where I was unsuccessfully trying, but even if I had been I doubt she'd have been sympathetic (and being in a position unable to try for kids is a bit similar to unfruitful ttc anyway, I still got annoyed/upset by her comments).

So maybe what I'm trying to say is that the worry/horribleness of TTC seems easily forgotten. Maybe that's the same with your mum? 16 years is a long time, maybe she's blocked out a lot of the hurt she experienced and needs a reminder how much you're suffering now.

lemonmelon_2

Massive massive hugs for you code, that's alot to keep bottled up. Have you thought about giving yourself a break for a month or too and being fully caffinated and taking all the anti histamines you want and a big glass of wine? Might do you good? Thinking of you though

Jox that's really lovely for you and you must be very pleased but you might get a better reception on the pregnancy threads where people are already in the same position as you as it can be a bit disheartening to see people simply dropping in here to announce their pregnancies. Wishing you all the best

tinkwings

Hugs Code xxxxxxx

lazywife

codemonkey wrote: »

Sorry Jox, I get what you're trying to do and I'm glad you got your BFP but I have been trying longer than 10 months, so all your well meaning post said to me was, oh look, someone else who got pregnant before me. Look, for the most part, we know it can take over a year. Does that make it easier? Not really. It makes it worse if you've gone past the year and still no hint of a BFP and people going on about how it took 10 months, well...

I don't want to upset anyone but I'm upset and I need to get this out before it festers and turns bitter.

Big hugs and glad you can at least vent on here if you're not feeling supported by your family.x