Need help (Complicated)

A_D_B

So, basically, my dad earns a lot so our household income is above £40k a year. I earn roughly £500-550 every 4 weeks, I have 2 children, care for 1 of them 2 nights a week.

Csa are taking £110 a month, I pay £150 board, and around £150 in other things such as phone(which i can get rid of very soon), bank stuff etc, nappies.. So £410 basically before I have any money to myself.Thats without clothes, or basically anything apart from the bare necessity's.

Im 21, and hoping to start an access course, but I fear Il have to pay £1200 for it, I can't afford this no way on what I have left over.

Things seem better for people who are on job seekers and its driving me crazy, I get no financial help from anyone at all. I can't afford to go out, I can't save for anything like a car, house deposit, theres no chance in hell I could afford to move out.

I feel stuck, I can't do anything with my life without money, I can't work more hours because of the times I have my child, also I'd even have to drop a shift or 2 at work to even attend this access course at college.

Is there no help for people like me? Or am I doomed to being skint and having no life.. And yes, I do try work as many hours as I can at work but its not that simple with the times I can work.

Any one got any advice or help they could give me what I should do? It would be much appreciated.

McKneff

I dont understand why you mention how much your dad earns?

Presumably you only work part time, are you looking for full time work or another part time job to supplement your income.

Have your child to stay with you when you are not working.

If you are paying CSA, this should cover the cost of nappies.

Torry_Quine

McKneff wrote: »

I dont understand why you mention how much your dad earns?

I wondered that.

merlin68

So you'd rather get £71 a week on jsa then.

midnight_express

JSA is £56 a week for the under 25s.

princessdon

A_D_B wrote: »

So, basically, my dad earns a lot so our household income is above £40k a year. I earn roughly £500-550 every 4 weeks, I have 2 children, care for 1 of them 2 nights a week.

Csa are taking £110 a month, I pay £150 board, and around £150 in other things such as phone(which i can get rid of very soon), bank stuff etc, nappies.. So £410 basically before I have any money to myself.Thats without clothes, or basically anything apart from the bare necessity's.

Im 21, and hoping to start an access course, but I fear Il have to pay £1200 for it, I can't afford this no way on what I have left over.


Things seem better for people who are on job seekers and its driving me crazy, I get no financial help from anyone at all. I can't afford to go out, I can't save for anything like a car, house deposit, theres no chance in hell I could afford to move out.

I feel stuck, I can't do anything with my life without money, I can't work more hours because of the times I have my child, also I'd even have to drop a shift or 2 at work to even attend this access course at college.

Is there no help for people like me? Or am I doomed to being skint and having no life.. And yes, I do try work as many hours as I can at work but its not that simple with the times I can work.

Any one got any advice or help they could give me what I should do? It would be much appreciated.

Your access course will be free unless you have A levels as you are under 25

gingergee

If not free, it would be subsidised as you have low income. Im starting one in Sep, have 4 A levels, and a NVQ3 and still dont have to pay the full fee (1800 down here!!) With my OH working!
Id look into the funding. Also, my course in only 2 full days and 2 2hr sessions, with one full day off. Maybe a different job in evenings etc would be a good idea? x

Mara69

The thing I have realised is that when you CHOOSE to have children, they cost a lot of money. Adults have to make sacrifices for their children; most don't mind. They give up luxuries like cars, holidays, new clothes to make sure their children have everything they need.

You are very young to have that responsibility but that is the choice you made and now you have to live with it.

marybelle01

A_D_B wrote: »

So, basically, my dad earns a lot so our household income is above £40k a year. I earn roughly £500-550 every 4 weeks, I have 2 children, care for 1 of them 2 nights a week.

Csa are taking £110 a month, I pay £150 board, and around £150 in other things such as phone(which i can get rid of very soon), bank stuff etc, nappies.. So £410 basically before I have any money to myself.Thats without clothes, or basically anything apart from the bare necessity's.

Im 21, and hoping to start an access course, but I fear Il have to pay £1200 for it, I can't afford this no way on what I have left over.

Things seem better for people who are on job seekers and its driving me crazy, I get no financial help from anyone at all. I can't afford to go out, I can't save for anything like a car, house deposit, theres no chance in hell I could afford to move out.

I feel stuck, I can't do anything with my life without money, I can't work more hours because of the times I have my child, also I'd even have to drop a shift or 2 at work to even attend this access course at college.

Is there no help for people like me? Or am I doomed to being skint and having no life.. And yes, I do try work as many hours as I can at work but its not that simple with the times I can work.

Any one got any advice or help they could give me what I should do? It would be much appreciated.

I cannot fathom how you think you are hard done by. It was your choice to have two children before the age of 21, and it is your responsibility to contribute towards the upkeep of your children. Caring for one of them two nights a week is hardly an arduous task, and quite how two nights per week prevents you from being able to work more hours the other seven days and five nights per week is perplexing.

Of course it is inconvenient not being able to save for a car, a house, or be able to go out for an evening, but these were the life choices you made when you decided to have two children before doing any of these things. You appear to resent the fact that your father has a good wage - have you stopped to think for one moment that this is perhaps because he made better choices than you did, and perhaps that is why?

Instead of blaming everyone else for the choices you made and how that prevents you from having what you want, and looking for ways for other people to pay for what you want, you should grow up and do as others do - which is realise that the world does not owe you a living or education or anything else, and that if you want these things then you must make sacrifices, and you will have to work harder.

fishybusiness

I cannot fathom how you think you are hard done by.

I don't think he is saying that.

He says

I feel stuck

which is different.

Have you approached college and asked about course fee reductions?

I'm also wondering if your Dads income precludes you from any college fee help, which would make life difficult for you. Would your Dad help with your fees?

chris1973

I guess you are living with your Dad / Parents, as you mention paying £150 a month in board. Believe me, that is a bargain, as a mortgage / rent would take anything from £270 to £550 a month from you (depending on area), and thats before council tax, water, electric, tv license, gas, insurance etc. Seriously, believing that working people and other single parents in those situations are better off than you, is purely an illusion you've created for yourself.

You seem to be constantly comparing yourself to your Father, however I guess he was probably a little bit older, more than likely in a solid relationship and more financially secure before he CHOSE to settle down and have kids?, perhaps you should have followed his example earlier, rather than being envious of it now.

Either way, you are 21 years old, and have responsibilities now, two lots of them, so deal with it. Your single friends may have the latest fashion, drive a car, Pi** their income up the wall and own mobile phones, but unlike them you have chosen kids over luxuries, so your expenses are greater than theirs, as lie your priorities. £110 a month on a Mobile Phone is something a football player would pay, you can't afford it and that should have gone the minute you found out you were going to be a father.

You also have a job, which again makes you far more fortunate than a lot of people here, given there are plenty of qualified graduates still out of work or doing menial low paid jobs then i'd forget college for now, and concentrate on impressing your boss, and greasing your way up the employment food chain, with a view to getting promotion and better wages, thats probably how your Father found his success - I doubt he was born earning £40k a year.

Unfortunately, life doesn't come gift wrapped, its a long hard thankless task to shape it in the way that you want it to be, and the only person who can change it is YOU. Kids are expensive, and get even more so as they get older, but being a Father can also be very rewarding, so stop looking at the financial implications of everything and start enjoying it and the days you spend with them, believe me it will make going off to work a hell of a lot easier.