Flying solo

NewLeaf_2

I want you to get rid of RTL. He doesnt sound like he can be trusted

NewLeaf_2

obviously that sounds like little miss bossy boots but i have to say how i feel and i am worried he might hurt you

debtfreewannabe321

Hi Robin, I followed you over from plmbl diary and am just catching up with you but wanted to say hello xx

*subscribed*

missrlr

NewLeaf wrote: »

I want you to get rid of RTL. He doesnt sound like he can be trusted

Bossy but accurate

Perhaps something to consider please?

HeadAboveWater

Agree with NewLeaf actually

We all worry about you as it is! Getting 'rid' of RTL would be one less thing...

Hope you're warmer today!

*Robin*

Hello Diary and dear, dear MSE Friends, :hello:

Hiya, debtfreewannabe321, welcome to the Nest, and thank you for joining in on my journey.

Missrlr - sorry, cross-posted with you yesterday. Did intend to reply but was hit with one of those "must lie down now!" ME moments.. Woke up to confusing gloom - not dawn but dusk - missed the chance to sort out firewood so it was indeed a two-dog night (which is a far better option than risking another log caught in the maw of the stove - don't worry; have learned that lesson! ).

NewLeaf, never fear to be blunt with me - your honest opinion is much appreciated.
Especially when there have been moments that I too have wondered if I'm courting personal disaster.

I've done some reading in the past few days because there are a few things that really don't add up with RTL's diagnosis and current treatment.
This morning pure serendipity led me to click through from Maily Dail's soduku page to the health news [not something I usually bother with, but they sometimes have a decent soduku puzzle]. Read an [STRIKE]article[/STRIKE] 'photo-story there which rang lots of bells.

So. RTL has just 'phoned; he agreed to my conditions for his return - which have been influenced by your concerns, NewLeaf, Missrlr and HAW.
This week I am going with him to his Psych Doc appointment, to ask whether certain tests have been done. If not, and they are beyond the remit of the Psych department, then I'll take R to my private doctor who does listen.
Think something rather important has been missed - Roger's future health is worth investing £150 in to get a full blood screening [and one specific extra test] done.
Plus the sooner he's well, the sooner I can get on with my life (the paperwork is beginning to haunt me, lol).

Clever Dog needs another blood test too this week..
She has won, by the way - chicken wings now appear on her menu every day. :rotfl:

HAW, think it may be warmer at yours than here today - can taste snow in the air..

HeadAboveWater

Ah. Glad to hear it!

:rotfl: Well done CD Enjoy!!!!

Have some sunshine...

dorothy52

Oooooh Robin, I HAVE missed you! Just catching up as I haven't been in the box for a while and I have to admit to being concerned for you re Roger's antics - indeed I echo NL's sentiment, very very much so. I know that you will continue to do what feels right for you, but please accept that we worry about you.

As is often the case, tears appeared when you told us how you had heard PC talk to you, and how much you missed him - it will soon be a year since you lost him won't it? I have indeed taken on board what you said about downsizing sooner rather than later, and promise us both that I will discuss this with Mr Dot when all the work business calms down and I have a bit more time to think clearly.

My DGS is 3 months old already and for the very first time I was allowed to have him overnight on Saturday...............AND his big sister. Dear God - it was like a carry on film!! We only had them from 4 .30 and by 8pm I was more ready for bed than they were. DGD slept in the lounge in her travel cot, DGS in his moses basket on the small sofa and me under a duvet on the big sofa. We all slept well - particularly me - I was knackered - then one of them woke up and such was my haste to settle him/her (didn't know which one it was in my half awake state) that I couldn't find the lamp to switch it on, then knocked my glass of water over, then realized I had not a stitch on as I had had a hot flush at some point and disrobed, so resorted to finding my way with the light from my phone (after putting me jim jams back on cos I was freezing by then). Of course I picked the wrong one up - quickly realising that I was rocking and 'shush Granny's here' the one that was fast asleep! Eventually peace prevailed and we all nodded off again. When DGS woke for his early morning feed I tucked him under the duvet with me and gave him his bottle - I couldn't understand how he could cry and drink at the same time until I used the phone light again and saw that in fact the bottle was under his chin!

I was pleased to hear that the magic tam arrived and chuckled at the thought CD and FD's consternation at your altered appearance - I had quite forgotten how very perceptive our dogs can be.

Take care of yourself, my friend and very well done on the weight loss xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

I'm sorry to chuckle at your misfortune Dot, but that did make me smile .

Love the sun HAW! We had him here today :T

Clever Dog, well done on the chicken win :j

Robin, I hope you feel better now and RTL is behaving himself Xx

*Robin*

Hello Diary and dear Friends, :hello:

HAW thank you very much for the cheerful sunshine - wouldn't have seen him at all the day before yesterday but for you! (Oh yes, and it was definitely warmer where you are than it was here ).

Dot - how lovely to see you; was wondering how you are getting on. :smileyhea
I did chuckle when reading about your DGC's sleepover - leaping about in the altogether and picking up the sleeping child.. Then trying to feed DGS but missing his mouth with the bottle (next time you'll leave a night-light on, won't you? ).
Well done for coping; expect you were exhausted by the time you handed the little ones back to their Mum, but oh so happy at the loving bond that is growing between you all.

dorothy52 wrote: »

I have to admit to being concerned for you re Roger's antics - indeed I echo NL's sentiment, very very much so. I know that you will continue to do what feels right for you, but please accept that we worry about you.

Ok, it's Story Time. If you're all sitting comfortably, then I'll begin:** <** Who remembers this? Lol>

We must look back almost exactly twenty years to a day when a man who I'd only met briefly a couple of times, [STRIKE]walked[/STRIKE] lurched into the house (while I was in the garden picking dinner). He was in the middle of a full-blown psychotic episode.

I returned to the kitchen to find DS3 and Foster Son cowering in a corner, shielding a very tearful DS4, while DS2 was hanging onto the dog, trying to stop her attacking this Visitor. He was raging; screaming at the kids and throwing small tables, kids' chairs, toys and kitchen stuff around.

He was a fearsome sight; had obviously been in a fight as his face was battered and one leg was in grimy plaster from crotch to toes. His clothes were filthy and torn, and he stank! He was also making very little sense - appeared to be hearing and responding to aggressive imaginary voices which he was ascribing to the children! :eek:

This chap had been living locally for a while, so I'd heard a bit about him from other friends: He had BP; while his Mum was alive it was under control and he led a normal, fairly successful life. After she passed away, he was left with over half a million in the bank and no-one to notice whether or not he was taking his meds.

Three years down the line he was out of control, broke and [as it turned out] homeless.
All I had by way of first aid was Rescue Remedy: He drank the whole bottle. I made some tea [his, heavily laced with honey] and managed to get him outside for a chat. The kids barricaded themselves inside the house on the pretext of keeping the dog away from our Visitor, while I explained that he couldn't stay with us because he had frightened the children so badly.
After talking for about half an hour he accepted that, but pointed out that his broken leg meant he couldn't walk back to the flat he was renting.
Fair point; didn't really want to leave the children but DS2 was a pretty sensible 13 year old and our neighbours would keep an eye on them.. So offering Visitor a lift seemed the best option.

On the way I stopped to 'phone Visitor's Landlady. She was horrified; bursting into tears while explaining that she'd had to evict Visitor several months earlier. On no account was I to take him there!

He then said he'd like to visit another family who were storing his possessions. It was quite a drive but ok. This time his reception was even worse; apparently Visitor had stolen a lot of money from them, and they'd taken his things in lieu of re-payment.

Visitor got back in the car. Then he said he wanted to visit another community where he'd been staying earlier. That actually seemed like a good idea as the people there do specialise in helping those who have suffered some kind of crisis.
But it was already dark; long since time when I should have been back at home looking after the family (DH was working away). Taking Visitor to the retreat centre would have meant a 160 mile round trip.

However, he had calmed down a lot by then; talking quite sensibly about getting himself to his destination. So I decided it would be ok to take Visitor to a B&B near the bus-station. He could get a meal, a shower, sleep and then catch a bus in the morning (he did have some cash; income from a sickness insurance policy).
That was the last time I saw him; he made it to the retreat centre and spent a couple of months there but [afaik] without any formal treatment. One day he went out and simply walked in front of a truck.

Visitor was far from the first person I'd met struggling with a MH problem. In fact I could also relate other far more positive, even inspirational stories - in particular there is my first BP friend; with his wife's help he came to terms with his illness and went on to have a very successful career and home life.
(Roger reminds me a lot of my first BP friend; he has the same spark of genius and [mostly] cheerful outlook).
Over the years many others have touched my life. It's clear that those with family and friends who support them do far better than the unfortunates who manage to alienate everybody.

I could have helped the Visitor who turned up so unexpectedly. But because he was a virtual stranger and the children's welfare was my priority, I chose to send him onwards - just like his ex-Landlady and the people he thought were his friends.
We didn't support him. He died.

That is why I'm not going to give up on Roger. I want him to have a decent future like my first BP friend [and the others who've done well], not the inevitable decline which claimed Visitor so young.
This time I must care. Perhaps for my own sake; to prove that I have learned the Life Lesson provided by Visitor and a couple of other dear friends who were far closer to the edge than I or anyone else realised in time to help. Don't want to make the same mistake again.


So far Roger has not given cause for concern since his return; in fact he seems to be doing very well. His Psych Doc has sent him back to the GP with a letter asking for the blood tests to be done as suggested by my research - Doc agreed that R does have many symptoms of a particular endocrine problem.
So we shall see. :cool:
This is the MSE option of course; R is Spanish and pays into the system so is entitled to use the state health service - but a Doctor must order any tests.

Somehow suspect that the money I was prepared to spend getting R's blood tests done had his Doc not co-operated, will now be transferred to Clever Dog's medical expenses fund. Am worried about the amount of time she spends sleeping, and it's still difficult to persuade her to eat properly.
She's quick enough to pr!ck her ears and jump up with waggy tail when anyone mentions "Walk", "Sausage" or "Chicken" though.
..Her sense of timing is bang on too; she's just starting singing at me - wants her chicken wings! :rotfl: