Flying solo

grannyx2

Likewise, think you sound like you are in need of one of these


HUG

I think to be honest we juggle things when we have to and slow down when we are able. That's what I'm telling myself as I take myself off to bed earlier than DGD1 approves of anyway

Granny x

missrlr

:grouphug:Morning I have no idea what the edited post contained but clearly you are happier with it gone. Another :group hug:

I think we do get to a point where the capacity to cope can lead to less "stuff" being done simply because the capacity is being taken up with less physical things and more mental and emotional things.

I agree with your choice, I can see the appeal for the roof garden and closeness to town for DS4 but really third year exams and then post student days may need some more quiet

No problems with non students living with students BUT council tax is a joint and several liability even if someone is exempt the household has to pay so worth making sure this is done consequences are dire otherwise :eek:

Hope discussions go well. Treat yourself kindly this is another emotional time and what with the bank faux pax you have had enough to content with

You are doing great well done :beer:
Have a good day

*Robin*

Hello Diary and Dear Friends, :hello:

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

I don't know what you wrote earlier as I have only just got to your diary but it sounds like you might need one of these so just dropping by to offer one or two :grouphug::grouphug:

Thank you very much DFW - believe it or not, I was getting upset for exactly the opposite reason that everyone joins MSE!

The alarming thing was that PC's savings disappeared from internet view for two days - leaving me with the awful suspicion that either a scam was under way [see below] or I'd typed in the wrong a/c details (accidentally gifting some unknown person with a hefty chunk of dosh). :eek:

However, it has now turned up - in the right place <phew!>

grannyx2 wrote:

I think to be honest we juggle things when we have to and slow down when we are able.

Thanks to you too for a much-needed hug Granny.
Your comment works the other way for me: Slow down when necessary, juggle things when able..

What really sent me into a panic was that ten minutes after PC's bond landed in my a/c, the 'phone rang. With no preamble, a very foreign voice [maybe Middle Eastern?] asked whether I was expecting a large deposit?
Voice was told I wasn't prepared to discuss anything without confirming their veracity - but of course the bank doesn't have a system for that. Tempting as it was to demand the caller's date of birth, two digits from the pass-code and a memorable event, I cut the connection as soon as basic politeness had been satisfied.

'Phoned BH at once, but they had no record of anyone calling me - so I tried to shift the funds immediately just in case. When the transferred amount simply vanished into the ether, I had a bit of a meltdown which resulted in the now-deleted post.

All this stuff - capital - was definitely PC's department. :A
..Give me £150 to budget for the month, and I'll get on with it - can do that. :cool2:
On £100 a week I'm rich - but these days, any more noughts hide a terrifying responsibility!

debtfreewannabe321

Oh bless I can't imagine what that must have felt like! I would also have had a melt down :eek: let's face it, who wouldn't. I wish my DH were clued up to money as it gives me a huge headache dealing with budgets, but he's not so I guess it's good i've learnt how to do it anyway (finally!).

I'm so glad the money is with you now and you know where it is, does sound a bit fishy that phone call? So I hope you've hidden it well, but not so well that you forget where it is and lose it again

xx

HeadAboveWater

*hugs* from me too! Yesterday was one of those days I think... Onwards and upwards!!

:eek: ref the money, but glad all ok now!

Words of advice for today: be kind to yourself

*Robin*

Hello Missrlr, :hello:

Sorry; takes me so long to compose [in between doing RL things] that we cross-posted..

Thanks for the hug and your comment, one paragraph really jumped out:

missrlr wrote: »

I think we do get to a point where the capacity to cope can lead to less "stuff" being done simply because the capacity is being taken up with less physical things and more mental and emotional things.

This describes the way I'm feeling very well. Maybe a change of scenery would help (have been at the Nest far longer than expected)? If Plan F [for flat] goes ahead then I will have to be there to set it up.

missrlr wrote: »

I agree with your choice, I can see the appeal for the roof garden and closeness to town for DS4 but really third year exams and then post student days may need some more quiet

Good point. I was focussed on the likelihood that the declared 7-10K of work needed would probably treble - and access for deliveries, builders' vans, skips etc., will be awful in that particular location.
Other disadvantages are that reconfiguring to give another bedroom would be impossible, and the time factor for repairs (not long until term begins).

missrlr wrote: »

No problems with non students living with students BUT council tax is a joint and several liability even if someone is exempt the household has to pay so worth making sure this is done consequences are dire otherwise :eek:

Indeed. Think it would be better to consider only students as flatmates for DS4 - who will be required to provide a CT exemption certificate from their college for the council.
Insurance costs are higher, but the 'mature student'** outlook and lifestyle will be more in tune with the stage Divo Four is at in his life.
** Preferably will have spent a year or so living independently since leaving home, and be thoroughly committed to getting a good degree.

missrlr wrote: »

Hope discussions go well. Treat yourself kindly this is another emotional time

..When does it stop, lol?


Hope things are as good as possible in your world, Missrlr - think of you often but am rubbish at keeping up to date with pm.s (as you know ).
Positive vibes, and a :grouphug: backatcha.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Hugs from me too. Glad you are sounding chirpier Xx

*Robin*

Good morning Sunday!

Apologies for appearing to ignore you, DFW and HAW - cross-posted again and then RL visitors arrived..

Followed by thunder, lightening and lashing rain overnight. Hadn't seen that coming so checked the forecast - next day [yesterday] offered the best chance for a trip into town before another wave of storms makes the roads hazardous.

Got half way there before remembering that CD ought to have come for her much-delayed blood test. :wall:

Aargh; we've all become used to Daft Dogs staying at home. Was sorting and loading outward-bound stuff, checking house, security, etc., when DS4 turned up. Helpfully he took the girls for a walk while I changed - then on autopilot I just shut 'em in the house as we left.
<sigh>
Need a new brain.

Lucky, thanks yes, am trying to be more cheerful [again].
Forgetting I should have taken CD to the vet was a major failure though - so central to the mission I hadn't written it on the list. Just as I didn't write "go in the van" - it's self evident.

On the way home we called in at the garden centre - one of our orange trees has a nasty infestation of aphids with attendant ants - looking for Neem Oil to deal with 'em.
They didn't have it, but managed to sell me a walnut tree, jasmine bush and lemon-balm plant - all on "special offer" (total £17; couldn't say 'no' ).

When it gets light, am hoping we'll have time to plant out the walnut tree before the next storm arrives.


Altogether spent £100 on food, a late birthday gift, a big pile of firewood [ballast for getting back up slippery hill ], more pills for FD, the tree & plants, sack of compost, and a can of oil for the van.

As for Neem Oil - do any of the cashback sites work with The River?
It will be quicker to have some sent over rather than wait for an opportunity to search locally for it. :cool:

Meanwhile still haven't shifted all PC's funds into an interest bearing account. Oops.

grannyx2

Scary stuff re money, not surprised you got yourself in a tiss, I would have too

I know how you feel about having to do when able, that is how I find myself these days. My health has taken a backwards slide this year and that affects me emotionally as well as physically.

The trees sound lovely, I hope the weather holds long enough for you to get them planted.

I hope you have a good day today

Granny x

chevalier

*Robin* wrote: »

This describes the way I'm feeling very well. Maybe a change of scenery would help (have been at the Nest far longer than expected)? If Plan F [for flat] goes ahead then I will have to be there to set it up.

Hi Robin sorry to hear that things have been so stressful for you again. I am going to say something and I hope you won't take offence, but I have to ask this. You seem to expect to do a lot of helping out of your sons. Ie in this plan above you are thinking in investing in something for DS4 with DS1, but you expect to set it up. Erm what is to stop DS1 doing this with DS4 as it will be half his flat? DS1 doesn't have a debilitating illness does he LIKE YOU? Are they not between them capable of furnishing a flat to a decent standard.

Likewise with DS2 and GF. I hope you DON'T give her the money for any counselling, if she is a native then why can't she get it for free on the equivalent of their health service. And if this isn't available then HER parents can help out I am sure, she is after all THEIRS. And to be honest at the moment she is JUST a girlfriend even if a live in one, and I would be leery of financially helping out at this stage.

Personally I think you to enough already for your children. You give them places to live etc (could you rent these for money or did you say the law had changed and if it has do you just need a licence to rent them out again) which means less money for you.

I am guessing that they don't know the full extent of your money issues, and that the money you have now has to keep you for as long as possible, or at least as long as this illness lasts. So it is not a bottomless pit for them.

Sorry but maybe it is time to tell them just what this money of PC'S is meant to do for YOU.

good luck with the decision ref housing. What town has he plumped for? Actually Oxford itself? If so could he commute in on the rail line and get a cheaper house further out? Eg at Bicester maybe or Abingdon?

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