Flying solo

debtfreewannabe321

I certainly don't think you should feel guilty for not offering to pay for the GF's treatment as you say the responsibility surely lies with her family?

I've not commented much on her actions purely because I've been in her situation and I feel deeply ashamed and sorry for what I tried, unfortunately depression (and other mental illnesses) can be all consuming sometimes and it may be seen as cowardly by many but for some it really does seem the only way out, I really hope she gets the help she needs very soon especially if her symptoms rear up every 6 months xx

missrlr

Hum my dear please do not make any offers of funding just yet, await and make sure you CAN. House use is somewhat different

Also you are quite correct you do not need to be offering to pay for her help she needed to go ask and get this herself

Do hope your relapse can be halted soon, I think the ideas of alarm clocks are ideal! I have resorted to this myself on several occasions. Does make a difference especially when meds are concerned

Woofs to dogs too. Be kind to you do not stress the finances you are doing great

grannyx2

^^ agree with the above

I set alarms to take my meds, have usually remembered before it goes off but good reminder just in case

hope I didn't offend re GF comment, timing, recovery and lack of memory just seemed a tad convenient. I suffer with depression and have at times had damaging thoughts, but luckily have been able to work through them. Anyone feeling that low gets my every sympathy, as does anyone involved. I hope it can be resolved but don't think it should be a cost you have to pay, unless all other options have been fully researched.

take care of you dear friend

Granny x

HeadAboveWater

All of the above seconded!

Please look after yourself Robin. And tickles to dogs!

*Robin*

Hello Diary and Dear Friends, :hello:

Thank you very much for your comments, DFW, Missrlr, Granny and HAW.

For the past couple of days, Turner-esque clouds have been deflecting some of the sun's heat. It's been glorious; have really enjoyed being able to spend more time in the garden.

Yesterday I wrote a long post, but managed to lose it.
Everything fell apart around about EE-time; came in for a bite to eat and remember no more until the small hours.. Slept badly.
This morning there was no water; the pump coughed and died.
Guess who forgot to turn off the irrigation tap last night (allowing the tank to empty)? <sigh>

Water supply equipment was PC's department, but - before being able to have a cuppa - I managed to get everything going again. Thank goodness.

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

I've not commented much on her actions purely because I've been in her situation and I feel deeply ashamed and sorry for what I tried, unfortunately depression (and other mental illnesses) can be all consuming sometimes and it may be seen as cowardly by many but for some it really does seem the only way out, I really hope she gets the help she needs very soon especially if her symptoms rear up every 6 months xx

Dear DFW, I salute your courage in sharing the above. It must have been an awful, very difficult time for you (((hugs))).
I've been told before, that at the moment when it appears there is no way out except suicide, nothing or nobody else matters..

What I'm struggling with here, is that anyone can go from being happy and looking forward to a holiday, to hopeless and suicidal - between dinner and bed-time! ..And then to bounce back into a happy state within hours of being discharged from ICU - something really isn't adding up for me in all this.

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

I certainly don't think you should feel guilty for not offering to pay for the GF's treatment as you say the responsibility surely lies with her family?

missrlr wrote:

you do not need to be offering to pay for her help she needed to go ask and get this herself

grannyx2 wrote:

don't think it should be a cost you have to pay, unless all other options have been fully researched.

I haven't spoken to GF's Mum myself [yet], but DS4 has been to her [STRIKE]house[/STRIKE] villa (in the most expensive town on the costa). He didn't get the impression that they are strapped for cash. Maybe their home is mortgaged to the hilt, or possibly it's just that this has been going on for so long that her family are simply fed up?

Either way, am exceedingly curious to know exactly what diagnosis GF has been given.

Hope I am not sounding very negative about GF; I genuinely like her. Although our backgrounds are very different we have more in common than Divo Two and a talent for producing good food. Had she moved in locally as a neighbour, I think we would have become friends anyway (eventually).

Will ask DS2 & GF over for dinner when Divo Four gets back from his sight-seeing jaunt with Gardener (she wanted a glimpse of Morocco, but it's not wise for a woman to travel there alone. Ever the gentleman, DS4 offered to accompany her - he's certainly making the most of his time before uni, lol :rotfl:).
Hopefully GF will be more willing to talk openly with us, the better she gets to know us (and when DGD is not present).

grannyx2 wrote:

hope I didn't offend re GF comment, timing, recovery and lack of memory just seemed a tad convenient. I suffer with depression and have at times had damaging thoughts, but luckily have been able to work through them. Anyone feeling that low gets my every sympathy, as does anyone involved. I hope it can be resolved

No, of course I wasn't offended Granny - had the same thought myself initially..
Sorry to hear The Black Dog also visits you sometimes (((hugs))). Thank you for being able to talk about it.

missrlr wrote:

I think the ideas of alarm clocks are ideal! I have resorted to this myself on several occasions. Does make a difference especially when meds are concerned

grannyx2 wrote:

I set alarms to take my meds, have usually remembered before it goes off but good reminder just in case

Ah - so it's not a daft idea, then? :rotfl:
(Seems to be working! ).

Fudgefund wrote:

A belated Happy Birthday to you! Have a nice cream soda. I had it in mind when I came on here to ask Clever Dog for a desolate woof, but you've appeared. Glad you had a good day, the metal door sounds horrible though!

Dear Fudgie, what is a nice cream soda, please? Are you playing with words, or is this a deliciousness I've not heard of? :cool2:
Metal-door bruise is fading - am just grateful spectacles were not involved..

Clever Dog is not very talkative atm. The heat makes both Daft Dogs sleep a lot, and they're pretty calm when awake (unless their lunch is overdue, lol). But now they've nearly got through the ordeal of summer in Andalucia, am hoping they'll soon start asking to go for walks again.

Last night CD and I seemed to be swapping beds** every hour; at dawn she joined me on the patio day-bed, and while rubbing her tummy I found another reason why she may be feeling under-par. Think it was a spider-bite; CD has a weepy wound which wasn't there the day before. Will sort it out; cleansing plus antihistamines should do the trick - although I expect strident objections every time we attempt the first part of the treatment.

** That sounds weird. In fact I was wandering between my bed, the day-bed, and the sofa (trying to get comfortable). CD had trouble choosing between her bed, the living room carpet, the cool patio tiles and the day-bed. ..We make a right pair! :rotfl:

Finances. Divo Four's upcoming need for accommodation sent me surfing estate agent sites in the city he'll be moving to. Was fairly gobsmacked to discover that three-bed terraced houses within walking distance of his college command a price-tag of 400K! :eek:
..That would require a mortgage so isn't on. Shame in a way, because it would have been a neat solution to my problem of what to do with PC's savings.

Two items from my last extravagant trip to town:
First; the mango tree has grown 10cms since being planted eleven days ago!
Second; new bathroom scales say I've lost 2.3kgs in the same time!
..Must confess. The latter can be ascribed more to meds taking effect than any particular effort I've made.

Fudgefund

I'm amazed you haven't heard of cream soda Robin! It's a vaguely unpleasant carbonated drink with a synthetic sweet taste. I think it is supposed to emulate an ice cream float, and some people love it, but it's not for me. I offer them mostly because I think that smiley looks like it has ice cream floating on the top of it, as my Mum used to make them (I would eat the ice cream then wander off ).

Fantastic news about the mango tree, I find it so satisfying watching things grow around me.

I honestly can't think that DS2 was expecting you to offer to pay for the GF to have psychotherapy. Perhaps he was hoping for advice, but I would have thought that would be the extent of it. It is perfectly conceivable that sessions with a Psychotherapist are hard to come by as an out patient (as anyone who has tried to get sustained one-on-one Counselling/CBT in Britain on the NHS will tell you) but that doesn't mean you should be footing the bills. Not only are these things variable in their outcome, they are lengthy processes and very expensive to commit to. I think just offering support and understanding (which you are very good at) will be more than enough.

Eager_Elephant

*Robin* wrote: »

Dear DFW, I salute your courage in sharing the above. It must have been an awful, very difficult time for you (((hugs))).
I've been told before, that at the moment when it appears there is no way out except suicide, nothing or nobody else matters..

What I'm struggling with here, is that anyone can go from being happy and looking forward to a holiday, to hopeless and suicidal - between dinner and bed-time! ..And then to bounce back into a happy state within hours of being discharged from ICU - something really isn't adding up for me in all this.

I haven't commented before but thought I would now.

My DH has severe depression (but manages to work) and I know when he is at home he is himself (so down and moody sometimes) but when we are outside of the house he puts on a front and he appears to be the happiest guy ever and you would not know about his illness.

But if we have been at home all day his moods can vary but not to the extent of attempting suicide within hours of being very jolly.

My DH had a breakdown last year and went missing for hours - after he was discharged from hospital (he was not sectioned as I agreed to look after him) he did not leave the house for weeks, he was very down and barely ate, drunk or did anything.
He is much better now but certainly could not have improved within a matter of hours.

Either she was putting on a front to appear happy to you all and inside she was very down or she is a very good actress.

debtfreewannabe321

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

I haven't commented before but thought I would now.

My DH has severe depression (but manages to work) and I know when he is at home he is himself (so down and moody sometimes) but when we are outside of the house he puts on a front and he appears to be the happiest guy ever and you would not know about his illness.

But if we have been at home all day his moods can vary but not to the extent of attempting suicide within hours of being very jolly.

My DH had a breakdown last year and went missing for hours - after he was discharged from hospital (he was not sectioned as I agreed to look after him) he did not leave the house for weeks, he was very down and barely ate, drunk or did anything.
He is much better now but certainly could not have improved within a matter of hours.

Either she was putting on a front to appear happy to you all and inside she was very down or she is a very good actress.

I can relate to this, my uncle committed suicide 6 years ago he was the same age (give or take a year) as I am now and suffered with depression. I saw him 3 weeks before he did it and was seemingly fine, although the conversations we had were somewhat strange, he asked me what my take was on the afterlife, angels, heaven that sort of thing. I thought it's because he knew I was interested in these things myself (not for the same reasons he obviously was...) so these days if I am down with depression I never let on to my family. Otherwise they watch me like a hawk (given my past and my uncles..) The sad thing was he was sectioned and he told them he was fine, hours after they released him he was dead! Anyway enough of this on Robin's thread, sorry hun

debtfreewannabe321

*Robin* wrote: »

Last night CD and I seemed to be swapping beds** every hour;

** That sounds weird. In fact I was wandering between my bed, the day-bed, and the sofa (trying to get comfortable). CD had trouble choosing between her bed, the living room carpet, the cool patio tiles and the day-bed. ..We make a right pair! :rotfl:

:rotfl: I had to laugh, this has been me and my DS2 last night he kept getting in my bed and in the end after i'd brought him back to his at least 3 times I gave up and got in his bed! I woke up and he was laid next to me in his bed all squashed in :rotfl:I'd only moved as my back was so ouchy! Otherwise I quite enjoy the cuddles in the night

grannyx2

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

:rotfl: I had to laugh, this has been me and my DS2 last night he kept getting in my bed and in the end after i'd brought him back to his at least 3 times I gave up and got in his bed! I woke up and he was laid next to me in his bed all squashed in :rotfl:I'd only moved as my back was so ouchy! Otherwise I quite enjoy the cuddles in the night

Sorry your back is bad but oh this made me smile at the thought that DS so clearly needed to be near you, bless

sorry to hear about your uncle (hugs) and your own struggles ((hugs))

EE, your comments and my own experiences of these situations are exactly what made me question the whole thing

hope you are ok today Robin, I'm having a very Granny day today, so am now tucked up under my quilt reading MSE

Granny x