Divorce (through mediation) what can I expect to retain

Bubby

The fact that you had children 17 years ago would be a great way for her to argue with her solicitor that any pension contributions etc are taken from this date. The starting point will be 50/50 divide on all assets once any liabilities are taken off, this will be the least amount she can expect to recieve, if she isn't living in the house and you cannot afford to buy her out then the house will have to be sold.

Fire_Fox

Vikingfan wrote: »

I offered her the chance to stay in the marital home and she declined under the terms proposed by my solicitor that if she moved a man in the house would go up for sale.

Vikingfan wrote: »

Especially since she goes out most days in the car to get away from me

Maybe I am the suspicious type but ....

Vikingfan

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Maybe I am the suspicious type but ....

Yes I know but I am past caring,Just want to get things sorted and move on

Fire_Fox

Vikingfan wrote: »

Yes I know but I am past caring,Just want to get things sorted and move on

My thinking was it might be a useful bargaining chip if she gets awkward.

meer53

Vikingfan wrote: »

She does not to stay in the marital home and yes Motherhood is full time,but not when my kids are at school all day.
I am full time Father when I am not working

You don't stop being a mother when the kids are out of the house !

You need advice from a solicitor. You won't be able to make her move out as your youngest child is only 8, your post says "what can I expect to retain" i think you'll find that for now (at least) your wife holds the cards.

Try to sort it amicably, don't rush into things, you may regret it later.

Vikingfan

I took her bank card off her,as she does not contribute any money I =am giving her petrol money and spends but now I have just found out she reapplied for another bank card and has run up some debts by going beyond my overdraught facility.

I have contacted the bank and put a freeze on my old account,meanwhile I have opened a new account but my wage may not go over in time to pay the bills.

My worry now is if she takes credit cards out and runs up bills who is responsible for the debts.

daska

Vikingfan wrote: »

I took her bank card off her,as she does not contribute any money I =am giving her petrol money and spends but now I have just found out she reapplied for another bank card and has run up some debts by going beyond my overdraught facility.

I have contacted the bank and put a freeze on my old account,meanwhile I have opened a new account but my wage may not go over in time to pay the bills.

My worry now is if she takes credit cards out and runs up bills who is responsible for the debts.

The main cardholder is responsible so if it's a card on your a/c you are responsible but if she's applied for them in her own name then she is - except that of course you're going to need to divvy up the debts as part of the divorce settlement anyway so it's probably as long as it's short. If you explain to the credit company they'll be able to tell you what your options are.

RAS

Tell the banks that all cards and accounts in joint names require both signatories for future transactions and cancell second cards.
Ask the bank how she was allowed to do this.

meer53

Vikingfan wrote: »

I took her bank card off her,as she does not contribute any money I =am giving her petrol money and spends but now I have just found out she reapplied for another bank card and has run up some debts by going beyond my overdraught facility.

I have contacted the bank and put a freeze on my old account,meanwhile I have opened a new account but my wage may not go over in time to pay the bills.

My worry now is if she takes credit cards out and runs up bills who is responsible for the debts.

You need to have a notice of disassociation applied to your credit files so that any further credit that she may take out isn't associated to you. You can't do anything about existing debt though.

Fire_Fox

Vikingfan wrote: »

I took her bank card off her,as she does not contribute any money I =am giving her petrol money and spends but now I have just found out she reapplied for another bank card and has run up some debts by going beyond my overdraught facility.

I have contacted the bank and put a freeze on my old account,meanwhile I have opened a new account but my wage may not go over in time to pay the bills.

My worry now is if she takes credit cards out and runs up bills who is responsible for the debts.

Your wife is responsible if they are in her name, you both are liable if any cards/ debt are attached to your joint accounts. Close down or lock every joint account and cancel all the cards, if she knows the card numbers she can still shop online without the card itself. Amazon stores card details for later transactions, Paypal can be linked in to cards or bank accounts.

IMO stop giving her any pocket money since you are officially separated, just buy stuff for the children. Use the money you save to pay off the overdraft and other debts. Whilst you pay the mortgage AND for the car AND give her money she has no incentive to resolve this situation quickly.