Am I being mean? - advice please?

milkydrink

See I'm not suggesting that all parents should buy their children all the latests toys, fashions, ECT. We can't afford everything they want.

What I'm saying IS IT NOT NATURAL AS A PARENT TO WANT TOO????

By the tone of many of these messages I'm thinking that many people wouldn't believe in buying them everything their hearts desired if they came up big on the lottery!!!:D

Addiscomber

Obviously if we had had a big win on the lottery (darn difficult as we do not buy tickets as we cannot afford them) then circumstances would be entirely different and we would evaluate accordingly. When you have less than £10 left at the end of the month, despite being as careful and old style as you can reasonably be, you do not commit yourself to years of buying Reebok or Nike or anything similar, unless you are prepared to fall into debt. We did not want that and preferred to be honest with our children. They have had "nice" things, but they have had what we could afford, together with lots of love and attention - not always appreciated but it has been there none the less.

milkydrink

Of course you are right you can only cut your cloth according to your measure.

What I'm saying is some of these posts sounded like they didn't feel bad to refuse & I'm saying that is it not natual to want to treat even if you can't. Not to always do it, but to want to do it.

Ex-Spendaholic

My 8 year old son got them for Christmas. He absolutely loves them and has a whale of a time on them. He literally flies around the paths in the park in them.

I know a lot of you are talking about brands etc here. For him and for us this wasn't actually an issue. He wanted them because they had wheels not because they were a particular brand. He has used them daily since Christmas Day and the novelty still hasn't worn off.

Children are only children for a little while. I don't see a problem with spending my hard earned cash on my kids. They are both much loved and yes they do get material things but I don't believe that makes me a bad person or them spoiled brats. On my son's birthday he got £100 from various relatives. I asked him if there was anything he would like to buy. What did he say? Some new pencils and a few bulbs for the garden. So definitely not a spoiled child.

I get what you are all saying about the potential dangers of heelies but there always has to be something that is dangerous. A couple of years ago it was trampolines. Every person I know knows someone who has broken their back after falling off one. Kids can easily become injured running in front of a swing or falling from the top of a slide but the media aren't interested in this. They can get knocked down by a car when wearing sensible Clarkes shoes. They don't have to be wearing heelies.

OK I'll get off my soapbox now. At the end of the day it's up to you as the parent to decide whether your daughter can have the heelies.

newMS

i buy my lads branded trainers and the like cos they're no more expensive than any other sort, they have a ps2 and a pooter , if they want games they save their pocket money............... but weelies would be a no-no....... i have a shed full of wheeled transportation lol

anguk

My parents would never buy me anything just because it was in fashion or everyone else had it and I can remember how "left out" and embarassed I felt for being "different" from my friends. My DD is now 13 and I would hate for her to feel the way I did as a teenager. When she needs something like trainers or clothes I always let her choose the things she likes, luckily she is very good and understands we don't have much money so is quite happy to get her things from the sales. She's well aware of the value of money and it's very rare that we pay the full price for anything as it's mostly bought in sales (most of her brand name trainers have been bought for less than you'd pay in Asda) but I'm also very aware of peer pressure and the desire to fit in.

reehsetin

im with the show her the article about them being dangerous, and just ask her if she really wants them or just wants them because her friends have them, then if she still wants them to the next day she can raise half

quick-learner

Hi carolt, I had the exact same conversation with my DD who is 8 only 2 weeks ago. She decided one morning she wanted them and nagged, nagged at me for them. We had the discussion of how much they cost around £50 and how long they would actually fit her for.....

Off she went to have a think.........

She then came back asking about the street gliders (after watching a commercial spookily enough) - these are bascially 2 wheels with a heel support and strap and fit onto existing shoes.

She even suggested she would pay from her pocket money (a thing she rarely does, so even I was shocked) If it's my money then that's OK but never her own.!!

I did a quick google on these 'street gliders' and found woolworths had them on offer at £12.99 with a free little carry case.

Needless to say I let her buy them, she gets on with them fine and what I like about them she can still walk with them on, so if she needs to stop quickly she can. They can be adjusted to fit different widths and I personally think they are safer than the heelies.

Best of luck in your decision, I don't think you are being mean, it's a lesson all children have to learn, I also think if you do decide on your daughter having them or similar, by letting her contribute to the cost she will appreciate them more as it's her money that have gone towards paying.

Fizog

If your DD is desperate for Heeleys then she must pay for them....My DS wanted roller blades at about the same age. He saved up every penny and then hardly wore them BUT they didn't cost me a penny and stopped him whining in my ear and gave him a valuable lesson. On school trips my boys always took their own pocket money, it was amazing to see how little they ever spent, ditto Cub camp.
My youngest (12) bought his own Heeleys last November and he has worn them a lot, he has the balance and sense to only wheel on smooth surfaces that's why your local supermarkets are full of whizzing kids LOVELY floors! Maybe by the time she has saved up the £25-50 she may have lost interest!

anguk

quick-learner wrote: »

We had the discussion of how much they cost around £50 and how long they would actually fit her for.....

I didn't realise they were £50 :eek: I'm pleased my DD is older & thinks they're "just for kids & uncool" :rolleyes:

Something that expensive would definately have to be a Christmas or Birthday present in our house!