Christmas family stuff (already)

BugglyB

nearlyrich wrote: »

I can't believe people are getting distressed about Christmas on 6th August to be honest...

I have to say I agree with this. Why not make something nice for mum, if she doesn't come, freeze it until the next time she does. Dont spend five months being worked up about it.

lostinrates

minnty wrote: »

And she changed her mind, it shouldn't be a huge deal. Christmas for us has been very informal, people come and go it shouldn't require huge amounts of forward planning and trying to live up to a glossy mags ideal.

I am not op, but while your relaxing christmas sounds great for you its jot what we would choose. We love all the little details and traditions. (dh is very in to it inparticular). Last minute invitees are to be welcomed, but cancellations with no notice and especially with dietary requirements would be very trying. Not least because for many its a month where money must stretch further and a few extra meals for someone with special requirments can be very costly.

Wickedkitten

daska wrote: »

Normally I'd agree with you but Edwardia's diet is extremely low carb so a fussy vegetarian expecting fussy dishes is not so easy to accommodate without additional work.

I've got a pretty demented sense of humour anyway, but I would be tempted to just get my own back for childhood by putting it front of her anyway and tell her she's not leaving the table until its finished

FatVonD

I was vegetarian for around 13 years and mostly still eat roast dinner without the meat because I got used to it that way, I think adding cauliflower cheese is an excellent idea (if your mum eats cheese) and leave it at that.

Edwardia

My mother called me about ten minutes ago actually. She said she asked me this early so that she could tell my brother when he asked her over there for Christmas later, that she had already been asked by me, because she didn't want to upset him by saying she didn't want to go there. My mother didn't enlighten me with a reason and my jaw had dropped so much that I didn't think to ask.

The other bombshell I got hit with was when she fell over her own lies about snow and admitted without realising it that the reason she left me and OH in lurch was that her bro and his wife were over from France (visiting her relies) and my brother arranged with my uncle that they would have late night supper at my brother's house.

So right now, feel like serving up ready meal cauliflower cheese, especially when she told me that she likes her veg mushier than we do and said: " if you had a microwave you could cook my veg for longer".:eek:

I speak to her every day, see her every week and she didn't tell me the truth and kept it quiet for eight months. :mad: I don't care that bro didn't invite us over but they all knew that she had been invited here. Not happy, neither is OH. He quipped that we should invite his mother and then when they've sat there all day sniping at each other, neither of them will ever want to come back :rotfl:I'm tempted..

daska

Wickedkitten wrote: »

I've got a pretty demented sense of humour anyway, but I would be tempted to just get my own back for childhood by putting it front of her anyway and tell her she's not leaving the table until its finished

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

minerva_windsong

This might be massively cheeky, but could you ask her to maybe chip in a bit of money for the extra food you're having to buy? Not necessarily asking her for all the extra cash, just maybe saying, "If you're still coming for Christmas would you mind contributing towards the Christmas food as we're having to get things in specially?" Admittedly it's a long shot and she may already be doing so, but asking her to make a financial commitment might mean she thinks twice about cancelling...

Taadaa

Maybe she didn't want to admit to you that she doesn't like going to your brothers house in case it caused a problem between you two. And she probably felt awkward about the brother/uncle invite thing - she may not have even known, and then felt awkward about telling you.

I can understand you being annoyed that she wasn't honest at the time, but people keep things from each other and tell little white lies all the time.

Abbafan1972

minerva_windsong wrote: »

This might be massively cheeky, but could you ask her to maybe chip in a bit of money for the extra food you're having to buy? Not necessarily asking her for all the extra cash, just maybe saying, "If you're still coming for Christmas would you mind contributing towards the Christmas food as we're having to get things in specially?" Admittedly it's a long shot and she may already be doing so, but asking her to make a financial commitment might mean she thinks twice about cancelling...

I would go with this too.