Christmas family stuff (already)

Mojisola

Edwardia wrote: »

Then two days before, when food was already bought/defrosting/being prepared, my mother changed her mind and ended up staying at my brother's house.

euronorris wrote: »

Is it possible that your brother put pressure on your Mother to be there last year?

Even if Edwardia's brother did put some pressure on his mother, she's a grown-up who had a prior engagement! Apart from anything else, it's just plain rude to suddenly drop one plan and go to stay with someone else.

Edwardia - a bit nearer the time, I would say something about starting to plan the Christmas food and could she confirm that she is coming this year.

If you were looking forward to some company, you could always ask some other people to stay. If mother doesn't turn up, her absence won't be noticed so much.

euronorris

Mojisola wrote: »

Even if Edwardia's brother did put some pressure on his mother, she's a grown-up who had a prior engagement! Apart from anything else, it's just plain rude to suddenly drop one plan and go to stay with someone else.

I didn't say it wasn't rude, but it might be the reason. We don't really know enough about Edwardia's mother to know if she is strong enough to stand her ground, or if she is easily pressured into things.

Just thought that it might help Edwardia to understand the reason as then she could perhaps pre-empt this from happening again. Or, at least, knowing that there was a high probability of it happening again (so she won't spend so much time or money on food for her mother).

Edwardia

Actually I'm thinking that my brother might have ..not put pressure on, but been somewhat persuasive, yes..painted a rosy picture of Christmas at his, maybe.

My mother would be really offended if I gave her a Waitrose ready meal. If it wasn't Christmas it would be OK but for Christmas lunch, total no no. From her point of view it's nice to have something special cooked by someone else.

OH and I not too keen on turkey so we usually have duck or beef. Roast spuds can't be done in duck or goose fat, she wouldn't have bacon rolls or sausages, the gravy has to be veggie and there's breakfast, lunch and dinner for a day or two plus snack stuff and even a buffet tea means making/buying stuff that doesn't rely on cold meats.

If it wasn't my mother I'd prolly buy some veggie party food from Iceland but she'd be offended.

edited to add: OH reminded me that one year when her brother came over from France last minute and asked to stay at hers she cancelled day out in London with me the morning we were supposed to be going.

So I'm thinking I should maybe give her a deadline to let me know by ?

Mojisola

Edwardia wrote: »

My mother would be really offended if I gave her a Waitrose ready meal. If it wasn't Christmas it would be OK but for Christmas lunch, total no no. From her point of view it's nice to have something special cooked by someone else.

Well, it was - last year - but she didn't bother turning up!

euronorris

I think a deadline is a good idea. Perhaps make the suggestion that, if she doesn't confirm by this time, then she will still be welcome but you will only have veggie ready meals available?

Sally_A

Edwardia...please take this with a pinch of salt, I don't mean to offend but the comments of:-

"We have an old elegant home with log fires and a real tree, champagne, I am a chef, no turkey for us, we'll do duck or beef etc etc."

It seems you are living in picture perfect magazine world (although I like your reference re nipping to Iceland, even though you are a bit sniffy about it).

Just for one year, I'd love to do the perfect glossy mag Christmas where everyone hangs around in velvet, tartan and christmasy colours.

Perhaps you mum would rather have rowdy kids and chaos around her, whilst showing her bloomers in a game of twister.

Just a thought.

Magazines have a lot to answer for.

Mojisola

Sally_A wrote: »

Perhaps you mum would rather have rowdy kids and chaos around her, whilst showing her bloomers in a game of twister.

Just a thought.

Then why did she angle for an invite last year and, again this year, even though it's only August!

Sally_A

Mojisola wrote: »

Then why did she angle for an invite last year and, again this year, even though it's only August!

Hedging her bets :cool:

jenhug

Edwardia, I would so love to spend christmas with you! You seem to get it the same way I do! None of my family are half as excited as me about it.

You seem to have a good relationship with your mum, just say, "I'm happy you want to come to us for Christmas, but do you intend letting me down last minute again?"

Its a fair question.

Sambucus_Nigra

euronorris wrote: »

I think a deadline is a good idea. Perhaps make the suggestion that, if she doesn't confirm by this time, then she will still be welcome but you will only have veggie ready meals available?

Or she confirms...and still cancels at the last minute.