Lost everything now.

ali-t

OP, keep welshwoofs sig in mind and keep up with the positive thinking (and doing)

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. George Bernard Shaw
Thinking of 1,001 reasons why you can't do something is effortless. It also comes with no reward. WW's Mum

Saturnalia

I'm trying to work on this but I just feel like I'm coming apart. All I can think is that there's no-one to help. I just want someone to hold me and there's no-one. I'm disposable, a joke to everyone. I just want someone to take care of me.

I'm in work and somehow I manage to keep my head together when I have a job to do. I don't know how. I had some sort of breakdown a few years ago and still managed to show up at work and act coherent even though on days I wasn't working I sat in my room and howled all day.

Welshwoofs

Saturnalia wrote: »

I'm trying to work on this but I just feel like I'm coming apart. All I can think is that there's no-one to help. I just want someone to hold me and there's no-one. I'm disposable, a joke to everyone. I just want someone to take care of me.

I think you're getting two things confused here:

1. Your ability to be independent
2. Your desire for a partner

You don't need someone to take care of you. You are more than capable of taking care of yourself - you are taking care of yourself right now. You should never pass the responsibility for your wellbeing off onto another person; because when you do find someone you want to have a relationship with it needs to be a relationship of equals, not them having to act as your shield from life.

You obviously have friends - nobody is going to think you weak if you say "You know what, I could really use a hug".

Everyone has wobbles and at times life can be overwhelming for every one of us. There's an old cliche; what's the best way to eat an elephant? In small pieces. And that's what you do when you feel the problems you have are overwhelming - instead of letting yourself be spooked by the 'big picture', you break it down into small pieces and you look at the practical steps you can take to solve or improve each piece. Solve one thing you feel a little better; solve another and you feel better still.

C_Mababejive

>Spareroom>find houseshare with someone who doesnt mind a cat

Saturnalia

There's nothing left for me, nothing to keep going for. I don't know how I'm still managing to function. I just don't want to carry on. It feels like my guts have been ripped out of me.

KateLiana27

Saturnalia, I get that you need to wallow a bit, but a lot of people have taken time to give you excellent advice on this thread. I suggest you take a deep breath, make a cup of tea, and really read it all. Get a piece of paper and jot down practical suggestions that you think might work for you. Keep an open mind.

And please don't abandon your cat. It is a living creature who relies on you. Just because your current LL has kindly offered to look after it (which may be a good temporary solution) does not give you a licence to turn your back on it. I have a cat, and you can bet that I'd sleep in a box on the street with it before I gave it up.

maryroberts

Saturnalia wrote: »

There's nothing left for me, nothing to keep going for. I don't know how I'm still managing to function. I just don't want to carry on. It feels like my guts have been ripped out of me.

What's happened to your positive thoughts from a couple of days ago?! There is Everything ahead of you!

You do have work, you do have friends and you do have family to love and support you! Your landlord has even offered to look after your cat!

Sorry to be a bit harsh, but it sounds like you are wallowing in doom & gloom when you must realise deep down that things aren't that bad!!!

I'm guilty of that myself, then one negative thought leads to another. My Mum and Dad have both passed away and I have no brothers or sisters. I've managed to relocate from a foreign country and successfully found a place to rent - with two dogs! Getting proper work is another matter but I'm working on it.

Please see try to see a glimmer of sunshine! You are in a better position than loads of people who have no family to love and support them. I just found it a bit annoying that your positive post was then followed by even more negativity.

I hope you wake up feeling positive again today

Welshwoofs

Saturnalia wrote: »

There's nothing left for me, nothing to keep going for. I don't know how I'm still managing to function. I just don't want to carry on. It feels like my guts have been ripped out of me.

You need to raise your head and start looking up instead of at your feet.

A few days back you said that you'd looked around and there seemed to be some surprisingly nice places to rent in your budget....has that changed?

A few days back you said that your LL would happily look after your cat whilst you got settled and, in fact, as she's also your closest friend moving out would help your relationship....has that changed?

A few days back you said you've got some work lined up so that's not a worry....has that changed?

You are talking yourself into a downward spiral of negativity for what seems to be no particular reason. Why??

PasturesNew

Welshwoofs wrote: »

You are talking yourself into a downward spiral of negativity for what seems to be no particular reason. Why??

Maybe, as she's nobody to talk to, to turn to .... she's just dumping her thoughts here, the same as others would have a moan with their mates/OH. I don't think she's being negative.... just getting it out there - and having got it out there it probably spurs her on and clears the decks for her next plan.

I find that being told you're negative when you're a bit down, or just getting it out there ... is isolating.

Dunroamin

This is going to sound harsh although it's intended to be bracing.

Nobody has died, nobody has a terminal illness, you haven't been left by your husband and your cat hasn't bene run over. All that has happened is that you're having to move from one rented place to another.

I wish you well but I really think you need to get a grip!