Lost everything now.

System

I don't want freedom though, I want to be settled and to belong.

Being settled and a sense of belonging doesnt happen overnight its a journey. It might take you months, it might take you years but it will be worth the wait.

Big hugs to you!:)

marisco_2

Saturnalia wrote: »

That's everything over for me. I have no steady job, no close friends here, no partner, no money & now no home.

Recieving news that you have to pack up and move on must have come as a horrible shock. It sounds as if this is the icing on the cake to what has been a tough time for you.

Going by what I have quoted above this could all work out for the best though. Where you are living at the moment doesn't seem to fulfill all the important things people want in life. By moving elsewhere maybe you will find regular employment, meet new people, improve your financial circumstances and maybe get involved with someone who could become important to you. A whole fresh new start, something to look forward to rather than fear.

I hope you got a good nights sleep. You have 3 months to relocate. Dont give up hope of being able to take your cat with you. You have time to try and find a place that may take both of you. I wish you all the best.

SnowyOwl_2

Both Lara44 and WelshWoofs give excellent advice! Your most pressing concern is to find a secure place to live, so start on that. You know local people, so talk to them, bend every ear you know. Also mention to people working in local shops etc that you and your cat are on the look out for a new pad.

Have you ever worked before? Well, of course you have. You therefore are not "unemployable". Feeling bad about yourself is not the same as being unemployable. If doors are not opening for you, then you need to knock on more doors, not less. (I am eight months unemployed, so trust me I know how being jobless wears a person down, but don't let it defeat you).

Doing nothing is the worst thing you can do as that will not solve your issues. This is a bad patch for you, but one of the few guarantees in life is that things will always change. People love solving problems, so I really think that your speaking to people and asking if they know of anything that would be of use to you with regard to housing and/or work would be very beneficial.

emweaver

This is a risk you take with private renting. Apply to your local council to go on their list and you might be lucky and find a suitable property with them before your 3 months are up but in the mean time look for somewhere else private, I'm sure you'll find something. Most landlords mean no dogs when they say no pets.

Feeling sorry for yourself won't make it any easier for you. Understandably you'll be upset as it is still sinking in but you really need to pull yourself together.

Amber_Sunshine

Saturnalia, I have been and to a large extent am still in a similar situation. So I can´t really offer any solutions, being in a muddle myself, what I can do is tell you that you are not alone in feeling this way, if that´s any help. I do hope that things improve. Do try to find somewhere that will allow your cat, he or she will be a great consolation.

Mr_Toad

Satunalia, I've been reading your other thread and while this is a blow you don't sound like someone who gives in.

You sound like a great person and for what it's worth I rather like the sound of how you are or were before the changes. Red hair and talons works for me!

You don't have to take this lying down. Get the war paint on and fight for what you want.

You could view this as an opportunity and pick a new part of the country to start a new life. Or, as you have indicated that you like where you are then start looking for somewhere to live that you can make into a home.

Apart from the comfort of familiarity is there anything or anyone holding you where you are?

You never know, you might pick somewhere to live and meet that special person you're looking for.

Have a look on Rightmove, put in what you can afford as rent and then look at places that grab your attention or perhaps have always liked. Something might just grab your attention.

It could be an adventure.

All the best, you sound amazing.

Saturnalia

Part of me is thinking that I want to pack up and move "home", my parents have said that I am welcome back there for as long as I want... and while I'd love to have my family and old friends around me (my sister is having a baby in Dec) it's not that simple. It's a very remote high-unemployment area and I probably wouldn't work there (I couldn't get a job there before) and at least in London I am temping regularly. In fact I got a gig today from tomorrow until next Friday! So back up the road I'd still have no money, no job, no partner, and my CV would be getting ever more out of date and obviously my old friends have new lives now. Having family around would be great but I don't think it's enough - I need my own projects too. It's my dad's 65th in Sept so maybe a long break would suffice, if work stuff allows.

I've started looking around for new digs here and been pleasantly surprised by what looks nice and is in my price range. I've e-mailed two landlords already to look at their rooms, and both are cat households so maybe I could take mine (if that doesn't work my current LL is willing to keep her and says I can visit whenever I want).

One advantage is that I have a little time to get the move organised. My parents told me to do my crying then start making decisions once I've got my head and heart straight, as you make bad decisions in this kind of state. And I agree, your heart should get a say but your head should get the deciding vote.

And thinking about it, my current LL is a very good friend (my closest mate here) but living together does make strain and our friendship has had a couple of bumps in the road, so maybe living apart would be easier.

*max*

Ah! See, it'll all work out! :T

marisco_2

Good to read your latest post and hear so many positives coming about. It shows such huge strength in character and how resilient you are that you can see it. I think in a few weeks time you will be pleasantly surprised at how well things have turned out.

Welshwoofs

Saturnalia wrote: »

Part of me is thinking that I want to pack up and move "home", my parents have said that I am welcome back there for as long as I want... and while I'd love to have my family and old friends around me (my sister is having a baby in Dec) it's not that simple. It's a very remote high-unemployment area and I probably wouldn't work there (I couldn't get a job there before) and at least in London I am temping regularly. In fact I got a gig today from tomorrow until next Friday! So back up the road I'd still have no money, no job, no partner, and my CV would be getting ever more out of date and obviously my old friends have new lives now. Having family around would be great but I don't think it's enough - I need my own projects too. It's my dad's 65th in Sept so maybe a long break would suffice, if work stuff allows.

I've started looking around for new digs here and been pleasantly surprised by what looks nice and is in my price range. I've e-mailed two landlords already to look at their rooms, and both are cat households so maybe I could take mine (if that doesn't work my current LL is willing to keep her and says I can visit whenever I want).

One advantage is that I have a little time to get the move organised. My parents told me to do my crying then start making decisions once I've got my head and heart straight, as you make bad decisions in this kind of state. And I agree, your heart should get a say but your head should get the deciding vote.

And thinking about it, my current LL is a very good friend (my closest mate here) but living together does make strain and our friendship has had a couple of bumps in the road, so maybe living apart would be easier.

There you go girl! :T:T You're pulling out of it already and in fact the positives are starting to shine through. There's some nice places you can afford, the side benefit is that your relationship with your friend will improve once she's not your landlord and you have some work lined up! You've also got tangible proof from your parents that that you are not unloved because you know you're welcome back there anytime.

There will always be bumps in the road, especially in the big city where housing is often temporary (I moved almost annually!), but if you can stick to an area you've come to know it doesn't really matter what building you're in because it's the people around you that count.

You now deserve a big bar of chocolate to celebrate pulling out of the wallowing stage, holding your head up and moving on