Taking one step at a time-after death, before birth

kavics17

I am sitting in my old bedroom in my parents house with my little girl sleeping on my shoulder. Bliss. I supposed to be the happiest woman in the world, I supposed to be with my Oh and enjoy being a family of 3. 2012 without a doubt has been the hardest in my life, and only because of my little girl have I survived. I am very much looking forward to a new year, a better year. It will not be easy, I know that but I am no longer alone, I have my baby girl who reminds me what is important in life. Would I change anything that happened in 2012? Yes. But I can't.

I have set myself a couple of challenges. I need to focus on things so I can give a happier life to baby Kavics. I will try to list them tmrw.

Triker

Have a better year kavics17, my warmest regards to you and your little one. x

ampersand

The wisdom and reality of your post does you exceptional credit kavics. Will you perhaps keep all of this to give to your daughter in printed form one day, perhaps when she attains her majority?[and those years will fly, as most of us will assure you!]

In the meantime, you'll be with others in my list as I send thoughts and caring wishes far and wide at Midnight, although my family had the first hours of 2013 in the world at mid-day.

Remember your 'things so I can give a happier life to baby Kavics' start with kindness and caring for yourself. From this rich resource, more will flow and she will have the loveliest template for growing up, making you a blessed grandma yourself one day.

Take care, dear lady and precious daughter, during a 2013 which is uniquely yours.

jwil

I hope 2013 is a good year for you and baby Kavics.

poet123

Take each day as it comes, try and have a happy 2013, the thoughts of many of us on MSE are with you.

sue09

Hi,have followed your thread and you are an inspiration,don't often post but had to.Wishing you and your baby girl all the luck in the world and a very happy 2013.

Dinah93

Wishing you and your little girl a joyful 2013. While it will be bitersweet, I have never known such pure happiness as I feel when my DD smiles at me.

kavics17

We are back in the Uk now, have had a lovely time with my family. I was spoilt rotten, my parents didn't let me do anything, they just took everything over. I am no closer making the decision whether to move back or not, there was no time and opportunity to find out details this time. We will go back at the end of February and decide what is the best for us.

But for now I have plenty to do. I have the dna result from Poland and need to find out whether the court accepts it here or I need to have it re-done. Depending on this I need to request at the court to put my Oh on birth certificate and re-register baby Kavics' birth.I also need to transfer life insurance money to his parents, will do it next week (yes, life insurance finally paid out and the beneficiaries are his parents). I guess this will keep me busy but I also want to hAve fun with my girl, concentrating on her too. I will start baby swimming hopefully next week and my local council organises baby massage for free so I will put our names down tmrw. We are having our 6 week check up and if all is good I start exercising. My local gym has a creche but not sure about from what age, I hope I can leave baby girl there, if not I will figure something out. I have a stone to lose and although I am not in a rush I know I have to start at one point.
I also seriously need to declutter, I have tons of stuff I do not need. The challenge is to make enough money to go to New York this year without touching my savings. It's been always a dream to go there and after having such a tough year I need to focus on something. Baby Kavics and I need to make our own memories, I do not want her to look back in 18 years and see her mother as a sad, withdrawn person. I want to be able to have fun with her, keeping her dad's memory alive by leading a content life just as he did. I miss him more than anything, he is in my heart and will always be.
2013 is a new year, new challenge. All I want from life is that my loved ones keep their healths and happiness, enough is enough of bad things happening. I honestly say thank to all of you for your support in 2012, I wouldn't have survived without my real and virtual friends and family,especially you Baby girl. I will keep writing this diary and although I have no debts at the moment, I have lots of expenses coming up I need to track of.

Birdie85

kavics17 wrote: »

Baby Kavics and I need to make our own memories, I do not want her to look back in 18 years and see her mother as a sad, withdrawn person. I want to be able to have fun with her, keeping her dad's memory alive by leading a content life just as he did. I miss him more than anything, he is in my heart and will always be.

This is so beautiful, your amazing little girl is so lucky that you're her Mum!

I'm glad you had a good time with your parents and they spoilt you. New York sounds like a wonderful idea, I'm sure you'll manage it debt free easily. Great idea to declutter now too, clean and simple is the way forward!

jwil

Glad you had a nice time away, and great idea about the New York trip and making lots of lovely memories for your little girl.