Butti's Journey: A matter of loaf and death

judi24

its really hard isn't it Butti - the balance between paying off debt and not feeling like you are missing out on everything!!! I often feel like I have my life on hold and am ok with it for a while then all of a sudden something triggers in me and reminds me that life is too short and kids won't be around for ever - then I do something a bit more spend even though I know it will slow my debt payment!!! It all about keeping it in perspective I guess! Keep plodding!

beanielou

Keep plodding indeed

Butti

judi24 wrote: »

If I were you (and its only my tuppance worth!) I would note what she has said and reflect on how it made you feel - I would write it down - and then at your next meeting with her (do you have 1:1s?) talk to her about it - even if you don't show her what you have written it may help to clarify your thoughts! she may be completely unaware of what she has said and how it made you feel!


and be mindful that many things said by others are due to their own frustrations not the actions of others - she obviously has an issue with opening mouth before engaging brain - so explain to her what that means to you and help her get better at thinking first! Think of it as a public service explaining it to her!!! and good luck!!!

Well I had my 1:1 with her ......guess what I said?
Yep that's right ....absolutely nothing!

Just before I went in she was making a flippant comment about a colleague's wife and I suddenly thought 'This is SO not me who has the problem here'. Moment of complete clarity.

I think I have also clarified that my father has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. I've found a brilliant website called Lighthouse.org which seems to be very clearly describing his behaviour and what I can do about it.

beanielou

That is a lot to take on board Butti.
How do you feel about that?

Butti

Relieved Beanie.
I don't need to cope with his behaviour any more. I just need to understand it and not accept it.

Butti

A week of revelations;

1. I'm okay
2. Conversely that means everyone else is okay too

Feeling quite :T:T:T:T:T:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:T:T:T:T:T

Mainly because;

Yes Butti you will go to the[STRIKE] ball [/STRIKE] America

On my 5th attempt actually managed to fill out my ETSA Visa Waiver form. Seems you need a super duper up to date browser to get it accepted and not booted out at the end (after 6 pages worth - quite frustrating!)

Butti

Wrote a super long missive yesterday and then lost it!!!

You remember Me saying at the start of this diary that things will get worse before they get better. ....well. We're here again
The good news is the original debt is down again.
The good news also is that the mortgage will be under £88k by Nov 20th.

The bad news is that I can't possibly do the American wedding / holiday without accruing debt. So I'm going to plan for it with military precision but have a good time and do things I want to do but not go crazy (no helicopter trips round the Grand Canyon!) After this multiple flight booking fiasco :eek::eek::eek: I think overall I may add about £3k to the overall debt. So on my return it should be just under £8k. With a pay increase, tax rebate and a couple of months of no council tax I should be able to clear it by the end of the year.

Right....off to paint a wall.

Verbatim

Sounds as if you've got it under control Butti!

Butti

Verbatim wrote: »

Sounds as if you've got it under control Butti!

I hope so. Let's all pray!

I have a mattress being delivered in a fortnight. All that's left to buy for the house is a couple of curtain rails and about 2m of fabric. Cousins husband is going to put the battens and rails up!

Butti

Looking forward to going to San Francisco. Trying hard to look forward to the wedding. Always find family things quite difficult.

I have found out how I am getting up from Boston to the wedding venue - minibus for $30 or car for free. Minibus with a load of women or the car with my dad and my eldest brother.
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
Sometimes saving your sanity is more important than saving money!!! Haven't yet told them I am arriving a day early, but I can sightsee I think and keep out of the way. Am going down to see my mum's cousin I think for a couple of days between the wedding and Christmas. Need to check that out.

Going to have a look at Meetup Groups for San Francisco, one is called 'I want to do see that but not alone' (Don't think they are talking about the Chippendales!)

Right, to report on mortgage. Down from £92k to £88,341. 4% paid. Will be under my target for the year £88k by 20th November :T:T:T:T:T

Now need to pen a missive to my mum's cousin.