Allow kids to know your adult or financial business .... or not?

I_wanna_live_for_free

My parents never discussed finances with us, ever. We accepted that some weeks we couldn't go to girls' brigade as they didn't have the subs. Don't ever remember querying that, just think I was too grateful not to have to go! :rotfl:

*Louise*

aliasojo wrote: »

So, are your kids aware of your general financial situation or is it 'adults only' in your house?

I only have one old enough (12) to understand the value of money - I tend to give him enough information to learn about life but not enough for him to worry about.

I certainly wouldn't go into the ins and outs of salary but let him know things like how much Xmas costs each or what their birthdays or weekly shopping cost.

My parents didn't tell me about their finances, but I picked up on enough conversations at times to learn that they were struggling. I never feel comfortable unless I have an emergency fund tucked away in the bank.

Hiddenidenity

Mine two are way to young yet at 3 & 1 but when I was growing up my mum and dad were total opposite to your parents. They was constant arguments/discussions over money (lack off) Dad working 2 jobs mum working the hours he wasn't. We were constantly told that things were tight they owed money etc. However we NEVER asked for anything, not even as to little as a drink when out etc we waited to be offered. We didn't get piles or presents for Xmas and Birthdays or have new clothes. As soon as I was 13 I got a weekend job and gave my mum and dad my wages. I wouldn't change how I was brought up but I do think its affected how I am now.

I won't discuss my personal finances with my kids, but I will tell them about the cost of living generally and savings etc. Although even at 3 my son wont ask for things (don't get me wrong I do offer and I do treat him) Just because now I'm in a position to buy him nice things doesn't mean I always will be, so I'd rather him know that they cant have everything they want easily.

lowlitmemory

I remember as a kid asking my Dad if he earned more than £50 a week (this was in the mid-90s) and being amazed when he said yes... I thought this was a stupendous amount of money and couldn't work out what my parents spent it on

I don't ever remember being told we couldn't afford something, but my parents would explain why we weren't being given x or y. Usually because we had enough of whatever, or it wasn't necessary. As we got older we were given more control over our own finances, and had 'pocket money' which we were expected to fund certain activities out of. My parents explained that it was similar for them, that they earned money and needed to do certain things with it like pay bills and buy food. Even now when my wages come in, I immediately split it into various accounts so I know I have enough for rent, bills etc plus some into savings.

sassyblue

lowlitmemory wrote: »

I remember as a kid asking my Dad if he earned more than £50 a week (this was in the mid-90s) and being amazed when he said yes... I thought this was a stupendous amount of money and couldn't work out what my parents spent it on

I don't ever remember being told we couldn't afford something, but my parents would explain why we weren't being given x or y. Usually because we had enough of whatever, or it wasn't necessary. As we got older we were given more control over our own finances, and had 'pocket money' which we were expected to fund certain activities out of. My parents explained that it was similar for them, that they earned money and needed to do certain things with it like pay bills and buy food. Even now when my wages come in, I immediately split it into various accounts so I know I have enough for rent, bills etc plus some into savings.

^^^ Same as my upbringing ^^^ I laughed at the £50 a week question, l recall seeing a pay packet once - they were paid weekly in cash in those days :rotfl: - and wondering what they spent it all on too.

We didn't have pocket money though, l got a job at 13 in a restaurant and earnt about £10 a week - a fortune! I could buy my school dinners instead of pack-up and had some left over for clothes and records.

I didn't know what my parents financial matters were but l knew they worked to earn money and had bills to pay. There were 4 of us kids so there weren't many trips to the seaside (or even trips out like some friends) but we didn't go without and had a holiday every year. I will be the same with my DS, he knows we work and that we don't spend anything on ourselves before the bills are paid - l don't want him to think you spend it before you pay the bills...

KxMx

I always knew we were poor, it never caused me much anxiety because to me it was quite normal and matter of fact.
I am very careful myself with money and I have a decent amount of savings and I attribute that solely because I never want to be in the position my Mum was- literally not two pennies to rub together at times.

DVardysShadow

Saturnalia wrote: »

I remember at about 14, for one school project we were doing we had to ask our parents how much the utilities cost. (It might have been for science & something energy-saving-related, I forget now.) My parents discussed it all with me and were appalled the next week when I said that half the class' parents had told them it wasn't for them to know.

My parents' argument was that it wouldn't be all that many years before I was taking care of my own budget so it was about time I did know what necessities cost.

I am appalled at this. From some age I was interested in the electricity bill and reading the meter and I knew all about standing charges. At the age of 13, we had a meter change and I called a halt on the guy leaving when he overread our meter by 1000kWh.

If parents are shielding their kids form utilities, they do them no favours - witness the posts on this site from people who move into a rental and pick up the previous tenant's debt all because they did not take opening readings.

Peanuckle

We have 3 teens who are now of the age they are considering moving out into the world (18,18 and 19) but they have always been given an age (and understanding) appropriate insight into how we're doing financially. Obviously they have no need to know about debt other than we have it and it's something they should try to avoid but when DH was off work for months on SSP things were tight and they were told why. We have a selection of menus that come out when things are really tight and I've explained to them in the past that this week it's more likely to be mince, tatties and beans variations for a while, I can't have done that bad a job on a tight budget since even though money is a little better now they still ask for the meals now and then lol

busiscoming2

My parents never really discussed money with us. We just knew there wasn't lots. I remember my mum saying to me once I was grown up, that had she been in charge of the finances they would have been much better off!

I am/have been very open with my children. I wouldn't say anything that I thought may make them fret, but they've known when things have been tight. We have always discussed credit and debit cards and how they work, the same with loans and HP. Two are independent and seem to be heading in the right direction.

System

There was certain things that my parents never discussed in front of us and they were money, age and who they voted for. I'd have had my fingers rapped if she caught me opening her purse. I knew we werent well off but thats as much as i knew.

My own kids? Well, i never discussed money and politics with them either. However, i could never understand the secrecy behind Moms age. My kids know how old i am and ive never tried to hide it. I only found out a few years ago how old Mom is and that was because i had to deal with some paperwork for her.