DD won £5k - should she share it?

Desperado99

Her bonds, her win, her money.

I agree with the idea of a family meal somewhere to celebrate but nothing too outlandish, and then only if she agrees to it.

CH27

You can't change the rules just because it's a sizable win.

It would be nice if she treat everyone to a meal out or something similar.

Melonade

I agree with a lot of the replies that it would be lovely if she bought something nice for her brothers or a treat out somewere.

But really thats up to her.

minerva_windsong

I'm with everyone else - if she wants to buy the family a meal out or another treat to celebrate then that would be a nice thing to do, but equally I don't think she should have to share it out with her brothers unless she wants to as it's her money, and it's not right for her to feel pressured or guilted into doing so if that's not what she wants (not that I'm saying your husband is doing that, but she might feel like she is if he keeps on about it).

GobbledyGook

Has your daughter suggested sharing it?

I have to admit I'm in the sharing camp with random wins. I'd view it similar to a lottery win - if I won the lottery I'd share it with the kids (and I would expect them to share, perhaps not equally, but share) with each other if they had a sizeable lottery win.

We have a thirds sharing system where they are allowed to spend a third on something, one third goes into their savings and the other third goes to their siblings. So they are getting to keep 2/3s of the win, but their siblings also get a turn in the luck.

I agree that lessons in other people having more than you are important, but I also think it's important to teach them that your good luck can and should be shared with your family because they share your bad luck when it comes.

It might be seen as incredibly unfair by a teenager though if your usual stance was changed.

ZsaZsa

Both of my children have premium bonds (a gift from grandparents). Neither has won anything yet, but if ever they do, I'll expect them to share any win, large or small. Once they are over 18, its up to them what they do with them but until then I would want them to share. However, I think that it would be tricky to change the rules when previous wins have been kept.

I_wanna_live_for_free

Premium bond in her name, her win. No brainer. As smaller wins have been kept by the individual, where would you draw the line?

She's got her tangible item from it, the rest is sitting there as a nice booster to her savings. If she chose to treat her family, and I do mean chose, and not be told to, leaned on until she gave in; then that would be a nice thing to do. Otherwise, it's her money.

Once you start to divide money it disperses all too quickly.

suki1001

ZsaZsa wrote: »

Both of my children have premium bonds (a gift from grandparents). Neither has won anything yet, but if ever they do, I'll expect them to share any win, large or small. Once they are over 18, its up to them what they do with them but until then I would want them to share. However, I think that it would be tricky to change the rules when previous wins have been kept.

I think you're right - changing the goalposts once you've already started is unfair. If your DH had decided from the beginning that that should be the rules, fair enough and it would seem fair because they were already the expectations, but I think it's unfair pressure to put on your DD if the rules are made up as you go along.

Will the rules change again if say another sibling wins a huge amount - will your DH suddenly be saying actually now you've won 50k, you have to share it with us too?

j.e.j.

Well, to look at it another way, your DD has learned that suddenly coming into a fair amount of money can cause disputes amongst your nearest and dearest :rotfl: That might be a valuable lesson in itself, lol.

If it were me I guess I'd share the money with my siblings. But then even that could cause problems.. what if one of her brothers were to win a large amount in the future, and then decided he didn't want to share it? Your daughter would be mad at her dad for making her share her winnings.

The fact that previous wins have not been shared, and also the grandfather has bought the bonds for each individual child points to her not having to share the win.

*max*

She shouldn't be forced to share, it's her win, her money, her lucky draw. Yes, it would be nice of her to offer to treat the rest of the family to a little something, but she shouldn't be made to feel guilty if she doesn't.

It's a good lesson to all of your children actually: life isn't always "fair", and some people get very lucky sometimes, through no work of their own. It happens. You all should be happy for her and put it behind you. Let her enjoy her stroke of luck.