It's over. Betrayed, heartbroken, jobless, homeless. (long, sorry, venting)

mikey72

bobbit .

duchy

Frankly this has nothing to do with "culture" and everything to do with a bloke wanting to have his cake and eat it and not having the respect for his partner (s) to admit it -so I don't see the need to bring in the racist angle at all. (I'm the daughter of an immigrant on one side and the grandaughter on the other although as I'm white people like you would never think so -I'm fortunate I have three cultures to celebrate and integrate into my and my family's life.)

ONM (can I call you Ozzie? ) I hope you've woken this morning feeling better than you did when you wrote your first post . Be kind to yourself this weekend-do stuff that makes you feel good and take things one step at a time in deciding where you go from here <hugs>

Padstow

ostrichnomore wrote: »

Gosh now I see why he was so keen to recruit someone urgently recently to take over most of my work responsibilities and free me up for other 'more important' things. She started last week and he's been pushing me to get her trained up in all the essential bits ASAP. Wow. It's all falling into place.

Anyway going to try and get some sleep as I've been up pretty much all night crying my eyes out.

thanks everyone. It's really helped.

It could have been worse. He could have recruited his mistress which is what happened to me. I couldn't understand why, when I visited our business that I could cut the atmosphere with a knife among our staff.
Sometimes these cheats are so arrogant in their loved up state that they slip beneath our radar.

margaretclare

Padstow wrote: »

It could have been worse. He could have recruited his mistress which is what happened to me. I couldn't understand why, when I visited our business that I could cut the atmosphere with a knife among our staff.
Sometimes these cheats are so arrogant in their loved up state that they slip beneath our radar.

Love - where does love come into all this? Arrogance, testosterone, wanting to have cake and eat it - yes, that I can agree with. And that the whole 'cultural' thing is one big smokescreen. But 'love', in the way that most of us understand it? The apostle Paul wrote about 'love' in his letter to the church at Corinth, only he called it 'charity'. For an evangelical Christian, that's the definitive description of love. I don't believe that this guy is any more of an evangelical Christian than is...well, the words fail me.

whitewing

duchy wrote: »

Frankly this has nothing to do with "culture" and everything to do with a bloke wanting to have his cake and eat it

I agree with this. He is trying in his own mind to make it an acceptable action. And I agree that he is so caught up in the fact that he feels he is being 'honourable' about it that he simply isn't seeing it as cheating or 'try before you buy'. I see it as he wants to sleep with this woman but is too gutless to finish with you first (because actually she may not be worth disrupting his entire life for).

There are good, kind and respectful men out there, so really try hard not to become bitter. I know you must be enormously hurt at the moment.

Padstow

margaretclare wrote: »

Love - where does love come into all this? Arrogance, testosterone, wanting to have cake and eat it - yes, that I can agree with. And that the whole 'cultural' thing is one big smokescreen. But 'love', in the way that most of us understand it? The apostle Paul wrote about 'love' in his letter to the church at Corinth, only he called it 'charity'. For an evangelical Christian, that's the definitive description of love. I don't believe that this guy is any more of an evangelical Christian than is...well, the words fail me.

They think they are in lurrve Margaret Clare, even if simply lust. The truth is though a lot and especially men, simply cannot live alone., which is why they leave one woman to live with the next.
The OP's partner is extra devious as he wishes to keep the door open to return in case it doesn't work out with the new one.

As for discussing with the OW over the course of twelve months when to have sex? Yeah right! That must have been while he was on Retreat in an hotel or at the cinema.

There will be numerous pennies dropping for OP and she is in shock right now. Make the appointment with the sol and she will come out fighting for her share of the business.

sassyblue

I was going to say the same as someone else that I've never heard of Christianity being a polygamist religion!

Tbh the way he's brought this about sounds to me that he's drip feeding you the way out. I don't believe they have planned all this without sleeping together too, l be he knows you wouldn't agree to his idea so first he tells you he's making some changed to his life, then that he wants to be with someone else and finally you can share him. Rubbish IMO, but of course he could be telling the truth. A bit like you buying him stuff for his culture and hes not interested, but he's using his culture as an excuse now...

Xx

skypie123_2

amyloofoo wrote: »

:grouphug: Sorry if I've come across as patronising, it's hard not to over a forum.

I would have liked everything Amy wrote 1000 times if I could have done.

Op you deserve better than this cowardly piece of filth.
What a nasty manipulative gutless waste of space he is.
You ought to thank him though for having revealed who he actually is now, before you wasted any more of your life on him
You sound like a lovely lady and can do better than him.

mildred1978

I generally find very devout Christians (evangelical especially) to have seriously questionable morals. It's as if they can get away with anything because their "god" will forgive them. Heinous bunch.

In years to come you'll realise what you've escaped.

charlies-aunt

(((HUGS))) to you -

Not much to add to what others have said but did't want to read and run.

18 months from now, you will be in a better place & be thankful to be well rid of this creep

Please promise that when you finally leave where you are living that you will leave a parting gift . . . . . . I understand that raw prawns inserted in any convenient small space (under floorboards, inside curtain poles, in the back of the sofa cushions, behind the bath panel etc) will soon give the place an unforgetable and lasting fragrance :cool: