A harsh punishment or fair enough?

gravitytolls

pinkclouds wrote: »

Tbh, while I wasn't sure which child was yours, I was hoping it wouldn't be Child C. That child sounds like she's dobbed the other kids in for something harmless that would have been settled between them quickly and soon forgotten. Now Child A & B have both been hauled in front of the teacher and have the consequences of how they both were/will be viewed by their peers.

A sanctimonious so-and-so did something vaguely similar at senior school, to me and a couple of other girls (telling a teacher that another kid had done something to us). It was so nothing (we'd already dealt with it ourselves) and not worth the embarrassment of having a teacher quiz us about it.

I can't see that with this age goup. Sure, Child C may be a bit of a tittle tattle, but I imagine she must've been fairly aware of some unpleasantness to snitch. I wnder if she overheard some nasty giggling behind Child A's back about the whole thing and realised it was a nasty trick.

Stephb1986_2

I think it was fair punishment it's not like child B got detention and suspension is it.

I will ask a question though and I want honest opinions it's going back to my past which I rarely do.

When I was 12 I was in high school, there was a girl that always picked on me called me names, hit me when teachers wasn't looking but when I retaliated I was made to look the bully.

Anyway one morning waiting for the bus to school she comes up to me calls me names calls my mum names at that point I lost it and gave her a good kicking (no blood) off she went running home which was just the other side of the road and down a bit, I got to school and was dragged into the deputy heads office for smacking this girl one, I was in isolation for 2 weeks and then suspended from school for 2 weeks.

It wasn't in school time, They said it was because I was wearing the school uniform. Would you call this OTT or a fair punishment?

Saturnalia

Had B told the other children what she was doing and they were watching to see if A fell for it? I.e. A was left out of the joke and was made the butt of the joke. Because that definitely is cruel & a bullying situation.

But otherwise, if it was between B & A and C saw it happen, I don't see how it was anything other than a silly joke between two kids?

gingin_2

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I will ask a question though and I want honest opinions it's going back to my past which I rarely do.


It wasn't in school time, They said it was because I was wearing the school uniform. Would you call this OTT or a fair punishment?

My son was being picked on physically by a boy on the way home from school. School were excellent and treated it as if it were an in- school issue. My worry was that they would wash their hands of it because it wasn't on premises. I think if you are in the uniform, you are representing the school, and therefore school have a right to intervene.

Whether it was fair punishment to you or not, I'm not sure. I'm supposed to say violence is never the answer but I can't stand bullying and would probably flip, too but school were right to treat it as a school issue.

sassyblue

Stephb1986 wrote: »

It wasn't in school time, They said it was because I was wearing the school uniform. Would you call this OTT or a fair punishment?

As gingin said because you were in school uniform you 'represent' the school.

IMO its unfortunate you were in the uniform, l bet she never called you or your mum anything again.

Spendless

aliasojo wrote: »

I'm gutted I missed this......I just KNEW Spendless was parent to child A!

:rotfl:

Actually when I replied that Dunroamin's reply had made me chuckle I was going to add and I'm only sorry aliasojo hasn't appeared on here too. FTR did you suspect from the opening post or just as time went on?

aliasojo

I knew from the get go tbh.

I was surprised when someone said you were child B's Mum.

meritaten

sarymclary wrote: »

I am invariably of the view that what goes on inside school is the teacher's business, not mine. So long as discipline and learning are taking place. We only have this story from the perspective of one person, and that happens to be a young child, with no ability to have an overall perspective on matters.

Who's to say that this incident wasn't part of a catalogue of malicious incidents? The teacher and teaching assistants will have a far better idea of how matters were carried out, and if they felt that using the traffic light system would be an effective way of showing that this was not a nice thing to do, then it has to be accepted. How are teachers going to be able to maintain discipline within a classroom if parents are going to constantly intervene and give their two-penneth about how they do their job?

As a parent of a child who was subjected to a variety of malicious acts of another classmate at school, at a similar age, I can verify that young children are capable of doing some very nasty things. The girl who tormented my son was supposedly his best friend, but said he couldn't have other friends if he was going to be her friend. After a few weeks, she then totally abandoned him in the playground to go play with another group of children, who were then forbidden by her, from including my son within the group. If he tried to speak to this girl, she warned him that she could cry at will, and would do so to get him in trouble. She then demonstrated her 'skill' by bursting into tears, drawing attention from a teacher in the playground, who then told my son off, and he had to apologise for upsetting her. Extraordinary, but true evidence of a psycho-bunny at only 8 years old. The effects of this behaviour did have quite a nasty effect on my son though, who went from being a fairly relaxed, happy kid, to one with nervous tics, which in time developed into a form of tourettes, and needed to see a psychiatrist because they became so bad.

I wish I had paid closer attention to him complaining about this child at the time, and not fobbed him off with telling him to just play with other children... she wasn't making life as easy as that it turned out.

Kids will be kids, but there's always the chance of a psycho being in the mix too!

A lot of parents are of the view that Teachers rule supreme. However from what you go on to say - I am totally amazed that you didnt have a word with the teacher about this little madam!
Your poor son, I could cry for him - all that to deal with and mummy just tells him to 'play with other children'!!!
I was so gobsmaked I forgot to say that I think the teacher over-reacted a bit. I can understand why considering the past history of bullying - but perhaps she should have investigated further? unfortunately (like many of the posters) she immediately jumped to the conclusion this was done out of malice - and not just 'playing'!

Cat501

aww meritaten, that's a bit harsh She wasn't to know that that little biatch was poisoning the other kids' minds against her son....I would, and have been up at my kids' school all guns blazing about bullying (and when we had physical bullying in our communal back area I even involved the community police officers as a last resort) but I have to say that if one of mine had a problem with what I thought was just one child, my initial response may well have been just the same as hers

Dunroamin

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Bullying isn't going to be stopped by teachers punishing children for something the "victim" hasn't complained about or even been spoken too about.

You need to establish that something wrong has been done before punishing otherwise you just end up making another child a victim of bullying (by punishing them because of a fear of bullying ). To have a "crime" you must first establish that you have a "victim".

I completely disagree. To have a "crime" you must have the intention to commit it; intention is what matters, not the reaction of the "victim".

If child B intended to fool child A into believing that an invitation existed then this was a deliberately cruel and deeply unpleasant thing to do. The fact that child A has more sense than to believe in the invitation is neither here nor there.