A harsh punishment or fair enough?

londonsurrey

Spendless wrote: »

There's 10 minutes left of this year. From September they are all in different classes. Even if I was to seek teacher out tonight - which I can't do as I have to take my Gran to a gp appt about her dementia which is a higher priority than the squabbling of 9 year olds -she can't rectify the merit points or anything - school's out for summer.

You are totally within your rights to choose your own priorities.

As Child B's mother, I wouldn't know what you've just said, and be looking to ensure that Child B doesn't expose herself to such accusations again.

KateLiana27

It sounds like the teacher was doing his/her best, based on the appearance of a cruel joke and the background of bullying so unpleasant that the child's parents (you) had stepped in to ask for help before.

Kudos to your child for putting on a brave front and shrugging it off, but that doesn't excuse Child B. Personally, I'm glad there are still teachers who take discipline and bullying seriously. And as a general rule I think it's best that, barring gross misconduct, parents present a united front with teachers and avoid undermining their actions.

Spendless

piglet74 wrote: »

sorry if i missed it, but how do your and ur hubby disagree with the punishment?

Husband thinks the punishment fair to the other child. I think it was OTT considering DD hadn't been asked about it and though people mentioned early on before I revealed who I was that the mother wouldn't have rolled up at the event of a minor celeb with a poorly worded invite -of course she wouldn't she's too intelligent for that. So, I do think teachers reaction a bit strong, but I can see that she has my DD's best interests at heart and she is the best teacher I've ever had for effectively dealing with bullying, so no I am not going to question her. Doesn't mean I don't want to muse it over on here though and avoid housework at the same time - all good.

Dunroamin wrote: »

Oh dear, I thought that the punishment was too lenient.

Sorry. This made me chuckle so much. :D

lovinituk

gravitytolls wrote: »

As the parent of two children who've suffered bullying, I applaud the teacher for reacting swiftly. I've lost count of the times I've been in and out of school about bullying, only to be told 'no one saw it, can't do anything, they say something different, it wasn't like that....' We ended up changing schools.

Bravo a teacher that values the self esteem of all children,and equally values teaching children that self esteem doesn't come with humiliating others.

My 8 year old son has also been subject to bullying. I still stand by what I have said.

GobbledyGook

Bullying isn't going to be stopped by teachers punishing children for something the "victim" hasn't complained about or even been spoken too about.

You need to establish that something wrong has been done before punishing otherwise you just end up making another child a victim of bullying (by punishing them because of a fear of bullying ). To have a "crime" you must first establish that you have a "victim".

looby75

am I the only one who really really wants to know who this minor celeb is lol

heartbreak_star

looby75 wrote: »

am I the only one who really really wants to know who this minor celeb is lol

nope, me too haha!

HBS x

aliasojo

I'm gutted I missed this......I just KNEW Spendless was parent to child A!

:rotfl:

thegirlintheattic

I think it all depends on Child B's intention which no one on here knows.

i.e.

Were child A and B playing a game at the time in which giving the fake invite was appropriate?

or

Did Child B give the invite to be nasty to Child A? Whilst I doubt a child made invite would convince another child it was real, if that is what Child B intended then it's a problem.

If it's the former, then the teacher should not have got involved, if it's the later the teacher was correct in the sanction, even if your child was not upset (Child B's intention is the misbehavior not your child getting upset). Considering what you have told us about the background I am leaning towards the latter, and so think the teacher acted correctly by essentially warning (there was no punishment) Child B that her behavior was not acceptable. The teacher was probably influenced by the history of cruel bullying directed at your DD; it's not unheard of for bullies to befriend their victims then use the friendship to continue bullying them.

poet123

I think that schools can't win!!

I would back the teacher to use her judgement based on her inside knowledge of the class dynamic and the personalities involved.

Child C has obviously taken to heart the chat and shouldn't be vilified for telling the teacher who has then used her judgement. Children cannot be blamed for what use the information they give is put to.

Next time some child may need that intervention.