Overweight/underweight child.

Mojisola

JodyBPM wrote: »

I've got two children who are at opposite ends of the spectrum. DD is rather chunky (although I wouldn't call her fat, she's very solid built and I wouldn't want her to get any bigger), DS is a beanpole.

mazza111 wrote: »

First of all, I'd like to say, I don't see your daughter as chunky, she looks like a healthy child.

Judging from those photos, I'd go further than this - I think if you think your daughter is "chunky", it may be your perception that's wrong. Be very careful that you don't give your lovely daughter a complex about her size.

JodyBPM

Buttonmoons wrote: »

There is nothing wrong with your DD at all. Infact thinking that she is a bit chunky will probably do more damage than if she was a bit. She looks like a normal sized, happy little girl to me.

Well, according to the NHS she's very overweight bordering on obese. Trust me, I take that with a pinch of salt, but I still think its a gentle warning to not let her gain weight willy-nilly. She's also one of the shorter in her class at age 7 and in age 8-9 clothes. Particularly she has issues with things not doing up round the waist. I encourage her to do exercise (eg fun stuff like roller skating, bike riding etc) and keep an eye on the whole families balance of food, but I'm not getting stressed about it, just being aware. I frequently tell her how beautiful she is (because she is!) and never mention any concerns about her weight to her, although I do talk to both the children about making healthy choices.

DS is underweight according to the NHS. He's tall for his age, and as you can see, a bit of a beanpole. DH has his build when younger (whereas I had dds:( ) plus he never sits still,a consant fidget, even if hes reading etc, he's constantly jiggling around, tapping his feet etc.

Mainly I think its just genetics, but its hard to get the balance right.

The whole point of this post is that I DON'T want her to realise that I watch or worry about her weight. The simple facts are that she eats three good meals a day, is over her recommended weight and isn't saying she's hungry. Therefore it would be irresponsible of me to give her an extra meal/snack that she doesn't need on that basis. DS is saying he's hungry and is underweight, and so clearly needs more. I want to know how to give him more without DD feeling that we're restricting her (because I really wouldn't want her to know that) or giving her more than she needs.

gunsandbanjos

I'll go against the grain and say yes I think your DD looks a little chunky, particularly in the top photo. However I agree with everyone else that I wouldn't make an issue of it with her.

YORKSHIRELASS

First of all I think your children look very healthy and those are lovely pictures.

Your son seems to be the same build as my 11 year old. He is about average height for his age but very skinny and seems to be constantly hungry. Last night he tucked into a good serving of stew and dumplings, mashed potato and veg at about 5.30pm. At 7pm he is saying to me he is hungry so I gave him a banana then he is back again half an hour later wanting something else.

I end up saying to him "you cant be hungry!!" but he is. I think he is just growing but its hard to think of healthy snacks sometimes.

I really dont think you can give your kids different foods without making an issue of it or making them aware of what you are trying to do. At their age I would just be making sure they both had a good balance of different foods and plenty of exercise - which it sounds like you are doing anyway.

JodyBPM

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

I'll go against the grain and say yes I think your DD looks a little chunky, particularly in the top photo. However I agree with everyone else that I wouldn't make an issue of it with her.

Sadly, I agree. I don't think she's "fat", but comparing her to her friends at school etc, I do think she is "chunky". I'm not looking at this in a negative way, just being realistic and trying to do the right thing for my child. I'd like to see her shoot up and slim out rather than putting on any more weight tbh. I don't make a big issue of it, just keep my eye on it, and make the effort to take them out on bikes, scooters, skates, to the park etc because she quite a studious child, and at home will generally be doing reading/drawing/writing and other such sedentry activities. She does dancing and swimming as out of school activities.

I don't think her weight is an issue at the moment, but, unchecked, I think it could become so. I'd prefer (for her sake) for that not to happen. She doesn't need an extra meal or snack every night, unlike DS, who probably does need the calories.

JodyBPM

Another photo, this was taken earlier this summer when we had (the one!) sunny weekend. Can you not see that DD has a bit too much tummy, wherase DS's ribs are clearly poking out?

[Deleted User]

Firstly, what absolutely gorgeous children and I love the second photo.

Secondly, I really think even at this age boys and girls can have different shapes. I spent years wishing my tummy was flat after eating like my brothers.

Thirdly, I can understand what your saying as I have wondered the same about my two over the years. Currently they both weigh exactly the same, but DS is a 1.5" taller. His limbs are lean and his body angular, whereas my DD is fuller in the figure, not chunky, but next to him her bones are covered. She gets a little food belly after eating, his food must zoom straight to his feet! Until this last year, I was getting worried about her, but I think I was just comparing her to him as people would say she is fine, he just makes her look bigger as he is so skinny.

However I can get away with slightly bigger portions by explaining away as DS being a year older. (He is also the reading fidget like your son, he rushes around everwhere at top speed). I would explain to your DD that DS is currently having a growth spurt and is requiring extra energy/food to do it. He needs the extra food to fuel the growth which is why your giving it, not because you are favouring him etc. Maybe for now say girls of her age grow steadily and not so rapidly and so her food is fine for now. (Or in ways she can understand). On the odd occasion when my DD notices the portion difference (and being a year apart they are used to having everything the same, like twins eh?) I explain that DS is growing again and encourage her to listen to her hunger and whether her tummy is full. Is she really hungry or just wanting something he's got? Sometimes if DS needs extra, i'll give it to him in the kitchen, not in front of her and give her MY time to do something instead. She doesn't feel left out and gets distracted by having me all to herself.

Good luck and I think your sensible to balance out their different needs, but don't over worry yourself, its sounds like your doing a great job in educating them over food, especially as they eat so well and aren't picky.

[Deleted User]

JodyBPM wrote: »

Another photo, this was taken earlier this summer when we had (the one!) sunny weekend. Can you not see that DD has a bit too much tummy, wherase DS's ribs are clearly poking out?

Lovely pic again, your son is naturally slender and its quite a common boys shape for this age. Your daughter, well i actually can't see a tummy on her here at all. If there was one, would she have just eaten? They both look so happy and innocent, please try to relax. Your not in denial about her shape and encouraging crap food, so it will go against the grain for her to be overweight. IYKWIM.

As I say, I think he is making her look bigger by comparison. A better way would be to strategically compare her to girls on her age. Would she be more average then?

Buttonmoons

Honestly, there is nothing wrong your daughter. She is thicker in body shape than her brother - everyone is built differently. Because his ribs poke out it doesn't mean she's fat/overweight because hers dont.

The photo of her in the boat - WHAT belly? She has no rolls, she hasn't got a tyre, she has no double chin - she is built a bit thicker - so??

My daughter has thick legs, because they are muscly because she's non stop bopping around, she has a round face, that's just her facial shape. I have a round face, her dad does. She's 4ft, 3 stone 6lbs and age 6. She *could* look chunkier because of her legs and round face, and over the winter she has got a bit of a pot belly, but now it's Summer she's on the go again.

It's kids, their bodies change, they stretch, they sprout.

onlyroz

My son is a skinny bean (age 7) who has just started to clear his plate at dinner time (after years of leaving half of the fairly small portion that we gave him). When he tells me he's "starving" and wants sweets/crisps/choccies I offer him a banana or some toast. If he declines that (maybe half the time) then I know that he wasn't really hungry after all.