Viewing deceased 20 days after death??

rollnchips

Well I don't agree with it. It certainly would not bring comfort to me knowing my relative had been pumped full of perfume and chemicals and had foundation slapped on them by some stranger for pure vanity reasons.

Person_one

rollnchips wrote: »

Well I don't agree with it. It certainly would not bring comfort to me knowing my relative had been pumped full of perfume and chemicals and had foundation slapped on them by some stranger for pure vanity reasons.

Then when your loved ones die, don't have that done. Simple.

Tina20

Did anyone see the undercover documentary about what goes on inside Co-op funeral care?

Really shocking, the grieving family told that they couldn't see deceased because there was 'damage' to the coffin, when in fact they had just forgotton they were coming. And the deceased carried in an uncovered box so she would fit inside the van with 3 other people.

Mayflower10cat

This is such a sad thread - I've not 'viewed' any of my relatives prior to the funeral and that was by choice. I can understand why for others it might bring comfort, a chance to quietly say a few last words, maybe? This poor man feels a need to say a personal 'goodbye' despite being advised against it, perhaps he does realise how his poor wife's body will have deteriorated, and yet still wishes to sit quietly by her body, (perhaps not looking directly). It's a sad situation indeed.

geoffky

Mayflower10cat wrote: »

This is such a sad thread - I've not 'viewed' any of my relatives prior to the funeral and that was by choice. I can understand why for others it might bring comfort, a chance to quietly say a few last words, maybe? This poor man feels a need to say a personal 'goodbye' despite being advised against it, perhaps he does realise how his poor wife's body will have deteriorated, and yet still wishes to sit quietly by her body, (perhaps not looking directly). It's a sad situation indeed.

We have in our family a tradition where the body comes home the night before the funeral and everyone stays up with the body all night until the funeral.
Hopefully as all the old ones die off this will stop..

pulliptears

geoffky wrote: »

We have in our family a tradition where the body comes home the night before the funeral and everyone stays up with the body all night until the funeral.

When I was a young teenager my small cousin passed away from a brain tumor. He'd have been 4 or 5 at the time and I remember they had decided to do something similar.

Nobody had told me that the open coffin was in the living room and I have a profound memory of coming face to face with the body of a child and it was truly horrible. When I think of him I don't remember so much the happy little boy who I'd read to and play with, more of that image of him lying in the coffin. If I could go back and erase that memory I'd do it.

geoffky

pulliptears wrote: »

When I was a young teenager my small cousin passed away from a brain tumor. He'd have been 4 or 5 at the time and I remember they had decided to do something similar.

Nobody had told me that the open coffin was in the living room and I have a profound memory of coming face to face with the body of a child and it was truly horrible. When I think of him I don't remember so much the happy little boy who I'd read to and play with, more of that image of him lying in the coffin. If I could go back and erase that memory I'd do it.

My sister who was 18 was killed by a drunk driver and all her mates came the house and one of them i found out years later was very traumartised by the open coffin..
My poor parents never gave it a thought..

pulliptears

geoffky wrote: »

My sister who was 18 was killed by a drunk driver and all her mates came the house and one of them i found out years later was very traumartised by the open coffin..
My poor parents never gave it a thought..

I suppose you dont at the time, and you wouldn't think to warn people away from a loved one or put a sign on the door.
The problem in that situation was entirely with me, everyone else was comfortable with it. I was young and taken entirely by surprise I guess.

Just wish my parents had thought to mention it beforehand, but even so I couldnt have avoided the funeral so I guess I'd have had to deal with it one way or another.

So sorry to hear about your sister btw.

jenhug

What I find really odd is the funerals that are filmed and put on you tube! Quite bizarre!

I think he needs to be told quite bluntly what he is going to expect. The funeral director might be the best one to do that.

aliasojo

rollnchips wrote: »

I find that there is something quite awful about "tarting up" the deceased, from embalming them with chemicals to adding glass eyes, wigs and make up it such seems like an uneeded intrusion for only the viewers benefit.

I've always thought that too tbh, despite understanding why it's done.

I'm seriously considering banning any of my kids from seeing me when I'm gone as I don't want them to think that I'm the rotting flesh they see in front of them and I don't particularly want tarted up for the sake of it. Iyswim.