Viewing deceased 20 days after death??

aliasojo

sassyblue wrote: »

But the undertaker would have to put something over the wound to stop the smell and bacteria spreading, if the hospital didn't do it when they released the body? The OP said a 'cover that has to be changed hourly' which l find strange, why would you want to do that when you can cover the wound full stop. Plus bodies are chilled.

Something's not right.

I agree, it does seem rather strange. Perhaps there is a miscommunication / misunderstanding somewhere?

If the OP is getting her info from the old chap, perhaps he's not completely clear about certain things?

patchwork_cat

Londonsurrey what do you do?

FrugalFranny

Aside from the smell (embalmed or not there is an lingering smell of decay even with the perfumes used to mask it), if she was a 'well covered' lady the fluid lose will make her look like nothing like a 'real' person even with the full works cosmetically. If he is going to see her though it'll help to have her prepared as if she were having an open casket at a funeral and was being viewed.
There is only so much you can do to 'pretty up' a person that's been gone for so long, even with good conditions, but at the very least she can be made up a little to cover the worst of the discolouration in the visable areas (face/hands). And there are a few tricks of the trade to make her look less ravaged (glass inserts to fill out the deflated eyes and so on).
There is usually someone in the funeral directors that deals with these things for other clients, maybe a quiet word with them a day before he goes help this situation? (It's usally a free service)
If he needs to do this then so be it, but it may haunt him for some time.

Strapped

If this was an op that went wrong, and he expected his wife to come through the op and see her alive again, then I can completely understand him needing to see her, to actually see that she is dead. I saw my OH after a bad RTA (he died of head and neck injuries so you can imagine he was pretty smashed up) - pretty shocking but a necessary part of grieving, imo. Being an older gent, it is possible that he is more familiar with death and dead bodies than you may think - it is only in recent years that we have started to hide them away.

zaksmum

Obviously I don't know all the details...can't really ask either, only what's been told to me so far. No idea if the body's been kept in the fridge, only that it was in the mortuary and is now en route to the funeral director.

Own clothes can't be worn for the reasons given, i.e. substantial "exudate"

geoffky

I have yet to see a body that looks like the person was before death...

Person_one

Judi wrote: »

run out of stuff to use for stitches did they? Sorry to be flippant but leaving the wound open really does appall me. Have they no thought for the family left behind?

There must be some reason, maybe some trauma to the skin that means it won't support the stitching?

Pathologists and funeral homes don't just leave bodies open and leaking for no apparent reason, at least, I'm pretty sure they don't.

Person_one

geoffky wrote: »

I have yet to see a body that looks like the person was before death...

Its odd, to me there seems to be a substantial change almost immediately. Maybe its just the fact that we're so used to seeing the chest rising and falling, and small facial movements that the utter stillness just seems...wrong.

Having seen people in a variety of stages after death, I would only view a loved one in the couple of hours immediately after.

rollnchips

FrugalFranny wrote: »

Aside from the smell (embalmed or not there is an lingering smell of decay even with the perfumes used to mask it), if she was a 'well covered' lady the fluid lose will make her look like nothing like a 'real' person even with the full works cosmetically. If he is going to see her though it'll help to have her prepared as if she were having an open casket at a funeral and was being viewed.
There is only so much you can do to 'pretty up' a person that's been gone for so long, even with good conditions, but at the very least she can be made up a little to cover the worst of the discolouration in the visable areas (face/hands). And there are a few tricks of the trade to make her look less ravaged (glass inserts to fill out the deflated eyes and so on).
There is usually someone in the funeral directors that deals with these things for other clients, maybe a quiet word with them a day before he goes help this situation? (It's usally a free service)
If he needs to do this then so be it, but it may haunt him for some time.

I find that there is something quite awful about "tarting up" the deceased, from embalming them with chemicals to adding glass eyes, wigs and make up it such seems like an uneeded intrusion for only the viewers benefit.

Person_one

rollnchips wrote: »

I find that there is something quite awful about "tarting up" the deceased, from embalming them with chemicals to adding glass eyes, wigs and make up it such seems like an uneeded intrusion for only the viewers benefit.

To be honest though, everything we do for/to/with people after they've died is for the benefit of the living people who are mourning them. That seems right to me. The dead person won't suffer for it, they're gone, but the living bereaved and distraught person might gain some comfort.