Support and information after multiple miscarriages thread

skintchick

Oh !!!!!!. I forgot to update PALS that I've had my result at long last and now I've had a message from Prof Regan today and she sounds cross. Oops.

Going to email both this evening to update but hope this doesn't affect my future care.

SusanC_2

skintchick wrote: »

Oh !!!!!!. I forgot to update PALS that I've had my result at long last and now I've had a message from Prof Regan today and she sounds cross. Oops.

Going to email both this evening to update but hope this doesn't affect my future care.

I hope not - it shouldn't be your job to run around updating everyone.

skintchick

SusanC wrote: »

I hope not - it shouldn't be your job to run around updating everyone.

I agree but I always have this fear of upsetting people and I do need them to look after me for three months when I get PG again.

SusanC_2

skintchick wrote: »

I agree but I always have this fear of upsetting people and I do need them to look after me for three months when I get PG again.

I think that is an understandable fear - especially when so much is resting on your care.

skintchick

Ah well, Prof Regan hasn;t come back to me today. I did try to call her twice but there was no answer. I assume she's read the email I sent last night.

PALS have come back to me saying they have not taken my notes (as Prof Regan said) so I've no idea what all that is about.

I know St Mary's is the absolute dog's when it comes to recurrent miscarriage, but I'm not rating them for their customer-facing care at the moment.

Still, I know what I need now, so one way or another I will get it.

How is everyone else doing? Is anyone TTC at the moment? Or are we all still licking wounds and preparing?

cleofish

hi everyone,
well after finding the chromosome result over the phone from the doctor I finally had the letter confirming it on Monday, also had a nice picture of my chromosomes as well, my 14 only has one where it should have 2 and my 13 one of them is large (which is the spare 14 fused onto it) interesting to look at anyhow.

The letter is a copy that supposedly my doctor has sent to the genetics to refer us for counselling but I phoned to check yesterday and they haven’t even had the letter and its coming up to 3 weeks now and she told me to go back and chase it up with my doctor.

I understand what you mean skintchick, dealing with the recurrent clinic for me has just been chasing up everything, every letter, every results it makes the whole thing a lot harder.

I still have my complaint ongoing with the health board waiting to see what comes back from that especially as when I phoned for a copy of my results a couple of weeks back the secretary told me they are all fine ive seen them( obviously secretarys are more trained than they used to be ) and of course the results weren’t fine there turned out to be a problem, interesting to see how they explain that one!

skintchick how did you find PALS? ive been thinking of asking for some advice through them once ive had a reply from the health board.

I am also worried about my ongoing care especially if we get pregnant again, the doctor has said I could see someone else but as he is the head of department thats going to be difficult, but I don’t feel we can trust him any more.

the support group I joined seem to be really helpful, a lot more than the hospital and it seems it comes down to playing my odds with trying again, we could keep on trying but just keep aware that I am more prone to miscarriages because of my chromosomes, I think it is a 2 in 6 chance about 33% of having either a normal baby or a baby like myself with balanced chromosomes.
If we can physically and mentally take the strain of possible going through multiple miscarriages until we strike lucky and have a healthy baby we could try again but at the moment we are just taking time to think it through.

well I for one am definitely looking forward to 2013 I really hope it will be a good news/lucky year not just for me but for all of us on here, I think we all deserve some good news!

skintchick

Oh Cleo you do sound more positive, that's great. I'm glad you are a bit happier about it and feel more empowered. 33 per cent is not hideous odds, is it? Is that the odds of a live birth?

I think that must be such a hard decision to think about whether you could cope with multiple miscarriages or not. I thought abou it before we went for testing, in case we had something untreatable, and I decided that I could not do it again.

I felt that I would have a permanent breakdown if I lost another baby, but whether I would have changed my mind with time I don't know, I just think that four in two years on top of previously having had one before DD was born, was just too much in a short time period.

I might have ended up trying again with a limit of one miscarriage per year ie if I lost one I would not get pregnant again that year.

I remember when I was diagnosed with Factor V Leiden that I was really relieved I no longer had to make that decision, I felt really lucky to have something treatable.

How did I find PALS? Nice, helpful but maybe not that effective! Ultimately it was me who got my results, nothing PALS did. But I do intend to give them the full story once I've had a baby, and maybe they would be more helpful with an overall complaint, I don't know.

It definitely helped to talk to someone who agreed with me that the clinic was being crap and who felt like they were on my side.

OH and I will be glad to leave 2012 behind. We felt like that in 2011 as well, and thought this year would be better, but we had another two losses this year (same as 2011) so I'm really hoping now that 2013 will be our year! The Year of the Baby lol. It's my new Chinese New Year ha ha.

cleofish

lets hope that 2013 will be the year of the baby, can i jump on the bandwagon :j

i think im being a bit naive about the thought of us keep trying until we have a healthy live baby, ive had 2 miscarriages already within the last 12 months and it is very very hard, i agree with your skintchick but right now we seem to be in a more positive place to try again, but if like you i had suffered 4 in the last 2 years would i still want to go forward? im not sure.

I think we are going to have to see what happens first, of course im terrified just of getting pregnant and then the 8/9 week wait and the possibilty of another miscarriage but we have got to do something even if its just trying.

do you think if i write a letter to santa that he will put a baby in my stocking and i can bypass all the stress?

hows everyone else? anyone doing anything special over christmas?

esb83

Hi Ladies
Had a few days away last week with hubby and feeling more positive. How has your Christmases been?Who's waiting to test?Cleofish and Skintchick sending you lots of luck for 2013.
To everyone else best of luck for next year fingers crossed for you all.

skintchick

Being brief cos on iPod.

I coped ok. Call The Midwife killed me cos the lady in it had also lost five children and I found it hard to watch. But otherwise was ok.

We are TTC right now. Well, not while I'm typing lol but I'm OVing now. Difficult with family staying in a house where sound carries but we're managing! So hoping to get PG this cycle so it will be before my last baby's due date.