Support and information after multiple miscarriages thread

any_name_will_suffice

Hi,

Sorry to drag this thread back up, but I want to update following my gynae appointment today.

It was my first appointment with the consultant after being referred following three miscarriages, although there was only medical evidence of two, they have accepted I did have a third earlier this year.

The consultant was lovely, very matter of fact and supportive. She has taken swabs to test for various infections including BV, which I know I have had in the past (2009) but my swabs were clear in january. She has also taken loads of blood to test for thyroid and prolactin levels, clotting, and mine and my partners blood to check for chromosonal abnormalities/ incompatibilities.

She said she will write with the results, and even if everything is normal, will recommend a treatment plan of asprin and progesterone pessaries to start as soon as I test positive for pg again, as well as a cream to use as a precaution incase I develop BV again, as she said just because they don't find clotting problems, it doesn't mean I don't have them to some degree.

It's such a relief to be taken seriously!! We will wait to hear from her before ttc again, next time I am pregnant, I am determined it's going to be a sticky bean, so I want all the help I can get!

Ballabriggs

Hello Ladies,

It's so great that this thread exists because I really need something to shake me out of this lonely feeling that comes out of recurrent miscarriage.

A bit about me, I had my first MMC at 12 weeks, that was a real b*@$h because we went for the scan and then they told us there's no heart beat. I must admit I felt like the sky had fallen in on us. Plus to add insult to injury went through a whole load of complications that led to a week in gynae on IV pain medication and then finally the D&C.

So kept on trying, got another BFP and then miscarried again at 5 weeks. Much more straight forward this time and managed at home thank goodness.

So kept on trying, got a BFP in mid april, got brown discharge at week 5 (sorry TMI) started bleeding and ended up in Emergency Gynae. Scan was done and they couldn't see anything, which I thought was really strange (was expecting a mc but would have thought that something would have shown up on the scan). Anyway I was still getting a BFP which was puzzling, so they did a blood test. The results showed that the Hcg was high and progesterone was low (11) so doc said it was probable mc, although they were concerned it could be an Ectopic Pregnancy. They did a blood test again yesterday and doc phoned with results today, apparently Hcg is still going up. I asked about the progesterone and they said they didn't test that this time???? So I have to go back in tomorrow for another blood test to see what's happening and a scan on monday. I've had no pain at all and I still feel pregnant.

So here I am feeling really sad, angry, frustrated, upset. I feel like time is running out (i'm 37) and I'll never have a baby. I won't give up but it all seems really bleak at the moment. Does anyone have a glimmer of hope to share?

I've had all the testing though the recurrent miscarriage unit and everything came back normal for me and my husband. After 2 mc and 1 possible EP, I'm seriously starting to think about IVF as a possible alternative route. Has anyone else thought this way?

Thanks for reading this if you've got this far. My heart goes out to everyone on this thread, its a lonely heartbreaking road. xx

any_name_will_suffice

hi ballabriggs,

Sorry to see you on here, but glad you came across the thread.

I completely get where you're coming from about the loneliness and frustration. It's so hard when the scans don't show anything, even when you were expecting them to show a mc. Although, it seems odd that your hcg is going up if they didn't find evidence of pg. Did they check your tubes and everything at your scan?

Our mc journey also started with bad news at the 12 week scan, and we were devastated. I had had a missed miscarriage around 5/6 weeks, but had continued having pg symptoms right until after the scan. Having got to the 12 week mark, I just assumed everything was going to be ok. How wrong was I??? I had three weeks off work in the end, both to have an erpc and to get my head back together.

I'm sorry, I don't have a glimmer of hope to offer, as OH and I are still very much on the journey of trying to start a family. I feel like we're in a tunnel now, and we just have to keep going fowards. I'm 30, but OH is 49, and I know he feels he doesn't want to keep trying indefinitely, as he's already going to be an older father. We have talked about looking into adoption or fostering (I just want to be a mum), but I don't want to give up hope on us having our own baby naturally just yet.

I hadn't really thought about IVF at all, as I have not had any problems getting pregnant. If you don't mind me asking, why do you think it would be different to you two conceiving naturally?

skintchick

Cleo congratulations. That is lovely news.

Anyname that is also good news. It is such a relief to be taken seriously and feel that you have a way forward. I hope that things happen quickly fôr you.

Ballabriggs, that all sounds very upsetting and unsettling. I'm sorry things are so uncertain for you right now. Am I right in thinking you are only around 5/6 weeks? If so it is possible that there isn't much to see yet. If you don't know exactly when you conceived then you might not be so far on and any baby may still be very small.

Hopefully your scan will show something concrete and bring answers for you.

AFM we are on a break till June which has actually been really good as it has forced me to live in the present instead of constantly thinking about having another baby. Hoping we will get pregnant quickly once we start trying again. And that the treatment will work.

My friend who has also had give losses and also has Factor V Leiden is very pregnant with her second child and that gives me hope.

Love and hugs to all and please never apologise for bringing this thread back up cos that's what it's here for x x x

Ballabriggs

any_name_will_suffice wrote: »

hi ballabriggs,
I hadn't really thought about IVF at all, as I have not had any problems getting pregnant. If you don't mind me asking, why do you think it would be different to you two conceiving naturally?

ANWS & Skintchick, thank you for your kind words. Its really good to chat to people who know what it feels like in this situation. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you too.

With regard to the IVF, my doctor mentioned that IVF can be used for recurrent miscarriage as well. It has been mentioned to me that my 'bad luck' might be down to a poor egg quality situation i.e. not a chromosomal problem but just an egg that wasn't meant to be on that particular pregnancy. I have been informed that the IVF process allows the egg to be screened through Pre-Implantation Genetic Screening (PGS) which would reduce the chances of getting the 'wrong egg'. The thing is I know there are risks with IVF as well and it wouldn't necessarily guarantee that I would not miscarry either. We don't seem to have any problem getting pregnant, its staying pregnant that's the issue. Do I want to spend £5000 on IVF and then potentially have another miscarriage? Its all very confusing.

Going back to the hospital again today for another blood test. DH and I have decided we are going to insist on another scan this time TV to find out what's going on. I really don't want to sit around waiting until monday with the advice 'if you get any bad pain go straight to A&E' I feel like a ticking time bomb!

any_name_will_suffice

How did you get on at the hospital yesterday ballabriggs?

Thanks for the explanation about IVF and recurrent miscarriage. It makes a lot of sense, and it's certainly an option worth exploring. I take it that there's no IVF available on the NHS in our circumstances?

I'm not sure my OH would agree to us spending £5k on treatment when as you say, there's no guarantee I wouldn't mc again. And honestly for me, I would rather look into adoption before that. i'm not sure we would be accepted, but I think a lot of people have the same worries.

Any name x

skintchick

I've had a sucky week

First, my neighbour burst into tears on me on the drive the other morning, saying she's pregnant and bleeding.

First up I had to deal with my feelings about her being PG with her third, and i had to support her through. She lost the baby yesterday

And now my hubby dropped it on me today that one of his close mates' wife is "accidentally" PG with their third child. He told me in a really bad way, going on about them building an extension because they need an extra bedroom, so I had to ask why and then he said "cos she's PG".



I am so jealous and feel rubbish for being so jealous

I feel I can only really say this on here. I think you guys will understand? We are still waiting to TTC again, in June, and after five losses I just can;t see us having another baby in my head any more, I cannot picture it.

I feel so sad.

any_name_will_suffice

Aw skintchick,

I'm so sorry you're having such a sucky week.

It is perfectly ok to be green with jealousy, and I would agree this is the place to share that.

I know it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you want another baby, you have to have hope.

And remember when you ttc again, you have a treatment plan for your sticky blood, so take some hope from that xx

lilymay1

Skint, this may not work for you but it usually does for me. When I am feeling full of hatred and raging with jealously, I always try to remind myself that there is always someone worse off.

You have one beautiful child whom is a miracle for you...that's one more than a lot of people. You have answers for your questions and a treatment program for next time, that's a lot more than a lot of people who use these forums.

Keep the faith lady, BigZippy has proved this week that good things come to those who wait xxx

skintchick

lilymay1 wrote: »

Skint, this may not work for you but it usually does for me. When I am feeling full of hatred and raging with jealously, I always try to remind myself that there is always someone worse off.

You have one beautiful child whom is a miracle for you...that's one more than a lot of people. You have answers for your questions and a treatment program for next time, that's a lot more than a lot of people who use these forums.

Keep the faith lady, BigZippy has proved this week that good things come to those who wait xxx

Really? Is BigZee pregnant?! Awesome!


(See, I'm not jealous of everyone.)