Women leaving the past behind?...

lazer

A friend of mine when she had a child got rid of some of the evidence of the previous drunken university life etc, although this was done because she didn't want the information used to embarass the child at any stage.

For her it was about protecting her child, she didnl;t want the child to be in school, and a wee friend coming in with the my mummy found a picture of your mummy last night - why does she have a cone on her head?

I don't have children yet, and I haven't deleted any photos etc from facebook, however I have deleted "Friends" from facebook and limited who can see my photos - For me its as I've got older (And i'm still under 30), and don't see the need to share every moment of my life with internet Friends, I am now a more confident person and more secure in my real life. I don't want people to be able to access random information about me

barbarawright

I find it fasinating how many usernames are Sanjaysmum or whatever but while I've seen the occasional Dadof4, it's almost always in the finance threads (mostly the debt ones) and i don't think I've ever seen a Felicitysdad type usename.

dizziblonde

Person_one wrote: »

Got any brothers?

If he wants to - he can change his surname when HE gets married too if he's so inclined!

I was doing a job where I was in a new place every day and being referred to by my surname (supply teaching) and little kids in particular were finding it very hard to remember and say - so I switched for that level of practicality alone since the option was there.

JodyBPM

lazer wrote: »

A friend of mine when she had a child got rid of some of the evidence of the previous drunken university life etc, although this was done because she didn't want the information used to embarass the child at any stage.

For her it was about protecting her child, she didnl;t want the child to be in school, and a wee friend coming in with the my mummy found a picture of your mummy last night - why does she have a cone on her head?

I don't have children yet, and I haven't deleted any photos etc from facebook, however I have deleted "Friends" from facebook and limited who can see my photos - For me its as I've got older (And i'm still under 30), and don't see the need to share every moment of my life with internet Friends, I am now a more confident person and more secure in my real life. I don't want people to be able to access random information about me

I said that I still had drunken etc photos on facebook, but I honestly don't think I have anything that would embarrass my children. I'm talking about groups of people clinking glasses, or in nightclubs/at parties etc, nothing dodgy like topless photos/wild misbehaviour/sexual poses etc, because photos like that of me simply don't exist. Probably the most embarrassing might be some at fancy dress parties - but honestly, what's so embarrassing about that? My behaviour in my teens/twenties and even now wasn't extreme or out there - I have nothing to be embarrassed about, and nothing to hide. There is nothing that I have done that I wouldn't be happy for my children to do at a similar age tbh.

colleensims

DalePie wrote: »

So I have noticed something recently and wanted to ask all the MSE girlies on here their thoughts.

I have noticed a trend amongst my female friends in the past few years. I would say most of the affected women are aged about the 30 years old mark.

• They get married or are with a long term partner.
• The have a child.

Okay, nothing too scary so far! Here's the weird thing though and I have noticed it so many times now I'm thinking there must be a common thought process that women go through as they do this.

• They stop talking about their youth, holidays and things they did in their 20s.
• They delete all photos on Facebook relating to holidays, nights out or even things like their time in university.
• Photos of their old life are duly replaced with photos of the children (Not Partner Though) and/or nothing.

It's really weird, yes having a child and starting a family is a huge thing but many women seem to be really keen on deleting their youth? I kinda have a gut feeling why they might be doing it but wanted to ask here. No way in hell am i gonna ask in person!

Just to clear it up, my male friends don't do this. All their old holiday snaps and pics from nights out and stuff still there with no exceptions.

Anyone got any thoughts on this? Oh and please no trolls, I'm genuinely intrigued as to why this happens .

I have also noticed this. Long gone are the going out photos and here come the 'im a parent now' status's. Alot of people I know have small children and their facebook seems to literally be a 'diary' of their childrens lives! I understand that they are proud parents but I always think its going too far when they are constantly updating their FB status to things like 'johnny did a massive p** today, my little angel is soooo cute isnt he?':eek: ......ummmm? no thats repulsive! I like you, but I do not want to know what your offspring is doing 24hrs a day!

Maybe because its because I havent got kids so 'I dont understand' but when I eventually do have them I will be making an effort not to be like this!
On a side note, why is it that people put their baby scan pics as their profile pic? There is only so much enthusiasm I can show to a black and white blurry image of a baby, who at that stage ALL look the same!:rotfl:no, it is not cute!!- I cant even tell which way up it is! rant over. sorry.

colli

when I was in my mid/late twenties my career started to get serious and I imagine that's the same for lots of people. I had a few clients "request" me on fb, you can't exactly say no but at the same time there was no way I was going to let them see photos of me worse for wear when day to day they trust me to look after £XXXXX of their money. Anything slightly dodgy went, they must think I'm super boring which suits me . Anyway, drunken photos are usually unflattering so who really wants them there?!

Oh and as far as talking about my "old life" goes I'm too busy enjoying my current one to sit and sigh about how hard I used to party when I was 22! Sure, what you think of as "fun" changes as you get older but I still intend to enjoy myself. There are only so many times you can roll in at 10am having not gone to bed before it becomes boring and so you move on to the next thing. In my case, I'm having a baby in December so am looking forward to being up all night again!

DianneB

Perhaps they have just grown up?

Gillyx

I have pictures of both past holidays/nights out alongside pictures of my son on my Facebook. I don't see myself as one dimensional, I am his mum, but I am also Gilly.

I don't feel other people see me as that though? My own parents never phone to ask me about me anymore, it's always about baby, and even strangers in the street will happily bound up to talk to my son, or ask questions, but they'd never do that if I was walking along on my own.

I agree with others though, it is probably about the people seeing themselves in a different light, whether I like it or not, having a child has changed me, and I probably am more self aware about how my actions would impact on my son.

arbroath_lass

DalePie wrote: »

Just to clear it up, my male friends don't do this. All their old holiday snaps and pics from nights out and stuff still there with no exceptions. .

I've been married a longish time but no children so not sure if you want my opinion.

IMO FB is about what we are doing now not 10 years ago. I regularly delete old posts and photos. I leave a couple of pictures of important events. Graduation, wedding, maybe a special birthday, a couple of embarrassing school photos.

I have to say I think old "night out" photos are a bit sad, really. Like people don't want to admit they're older. And also a bit attention seeking. After all who goes and looks back at old photos on friends' pages? I'm sure people generally will just have a nosy when the pics are posted or when they make a "new friend".

Maybe women are just tidier than men :rotfl:

marisco_2

DalePie wrote: »

Here's the weird thing though and I have noticed it so many times now I'm thinking there must be a common thought process that women go through as they do this.

• They stop talking about their youth, holidays and things they did in their 20s.
• They delete all photos on Facebook relating to holidays, nights out or even things like their time in university.
• Photos of their old life are duly replaced with photos of the children (Not Partner Though) and/or nothing.

It's really weird, yes having a child and starting a family is a huge thing but many women seem to be really keen on deleting their youth? I kinda have a gut feeling why they might be doing it but wanted to ask here. No way in hell am i gonna ask in person!

I must be in the minority then because I dont do any of the above on facebook or anywhere else. I did alot of things I am really proud of both personally and professionally before I had children. All part of what makes me the person I am today and not to be forgotten or hidden.

I was one of the last of my friends to have children. They made me aware how easy it is to lose your identity a bit when you become a parent. So I was determined this wouldn't happen to me. I still cringe and seethe when some sad sap comes up and addresses me as 'Jacks' mum'. These same people know my first and surname but chose not to use it :mad: