Women leaving the past behind?...

DalePie

So I have noticed something recently and wanted to ask all the MSE girlies on here their thoughts.

I have noticed a trend amongst my female friends in the past few years. I would say most of the affected women are aged about the 30 years old mark.

• They get married or are with a long term partner.
• The have a child.

Okay, nothing too scary so far! Here's the weird thing though and I have noticed it so many times now I'm thinking there must be a common thought process that women go through as they do this.

• They stop talking about their youth, holidays and things they did in their 20s.
• They delete all photos on Facebook relating to holidays, nights out or even things like their time in university.
• Photos of their old life are duly replaced with photos of the children (Not Partner Though) and/or nothing.

It's really weird, yes having a child and starting a family is a huge thing but many women seem to be really keen on deleting their youth? I kinda have a gut feeling why they might be doing it but wanted to ask here. No way in hell am i gonna ask in person!

Just to clear it up, my male friends don't do this. All their old holiday snaps and pics from nights out and stuff still there with no exceptions.

Anyone got any thoughts on this? Oh and please no trolls, I'm genuinely intrigued as to why this happens .

travelgran

I understand prospective employers sometimes check applicants on Facebook. Perhaps that's why they no longer want their youthful 'nights out' made too public.

rachbc

Not a phenomenon amoungst my 30+ friends who all still have photos of themselves have nights out now and then on alongside pics of kids etc.

Very few pics of my youth on FB as it wasn't around then thank goodness

JodyBPM

I think that perhaps a lot of people when the become mothers see themselves in a different light, and want to be taken more seriously as a person, and are perhaps a little embarrassed at reminders of silly things they used to. They want to be seen as good role models to their children, and so don't really want reminders of drunken parties that they attended in their youth etc. I have noticed this to an extent too, but it seems to be a certain "type" of mother that does it, mainly the over-protective, fretful, everything organic, "my child is a genius and is talking at 6 weeks, not just making random noises" type mother.

I have a 6 and 7 year old, and still have loads of photos of me drunk and debauched on facebook. Some of them when I've had a few too many even after Ive had the children! I also have loads of photos of the children, they are a huge part of my life and I'm proud of them! But I'm one of those strange mothers who considers herself to be a person in her own right, as well as a mother to her children, we appear to be a dying breed...

Nan63

DalePie wrote: »

It's really weird, yes having a child and starting a family is a huge thing but many women seem to be really keen on deleting their youth? I kinda have a gut feeling why they might be doing it but wanted to ask here. No way in hell am i gonna ask in person!

What is your gut feeling OP?

Nan63

Sorry, I should have posted my thoughts as well as asking you a question

I expect it's all to do with becoming a new person in their eyes. They believe that as they are now responsible for someone else, they need to change who they are and deleting some of the more risque postings and photos helps them adapt to the fact they are now 'grown up'. Nothing wrong in that, people change. It's life.

That said, I loathe Facebook myself and don't have an account but there there are many photos on my friends Facebook pages that show we still know how to embarrass ourselves at every opportunity!

DalePie

Nan63 wrote: »

What is your gut feeling OP?

A little bit like Jody has said. I know that women carry an awful lot of social baggage around in a way the father doesn't have to.

Course it's all part of growing up too!

Nan63 wrote: »

That said, I loathe Facebook myself and don't have an account but there there are many photos on my friends Facebook pages that show we still know how to embarrass ourselves at every opportunity!

^^ This too!

I was stalked by a girl massively about a year ago! Ended up deleting facebook and going ex directory. It really was a bit frightening, always wondered if she would turn up with an axe one night Lmao!

Nan63

Ah, bless you. I doubt if the girls were miserable in Ibiza, they have just moved on from that part of their life. There is a lot of pressure today to be the perfect mum and in all reality, drunkeness and skimpy clothes don't help that image (not saying that's right or wrong, that is just society today).

Enjoy your own memories OP and carrying on making many more exactly how you want to!

NAR

DalePie the bottom line is women are just weird, and that's on their good days!!

heartbreak_star

IMO some women (NOT ALL, before I get flamed) lose their own identity when they give birth, and even more so when their kids start nursery and go to clubs and things. For example, the woman formerly known as Sarah becomes "Connor's mum" and and the woman who was Susan becomes "Shannon's mum", etc etc.

Some women seem to embrace this loss of their own identity with glee...I find it a bit sad if you can only define yourself through another person (same as if a woman refers to herself as "Mrs Gordon Bennett" despite being called Lydia).

All of this is just how I feel mind!

HBS x

Gigglepig

Maybe after they have babies, these women are concerned that people like their MIL will show more interest in their photo albums hence need to sanitise?

I don't know, I am not planning on deleting photos when the baby arrives. Though I don't tend to post public drunken photos anyway.