We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Problem with Office Manager
Comments
-
sho_me_da_money wrote: »I am not denying anything. But what I am peeved off about is your hard-a%$ attitude whenever someone is looking for help.
You take an anti-MSEMember approach EVERY TIME. Be it about employment, MOT or seeking advice on how to establish a relationship with a colleague.
And again, if I am a self-confessed liar. Why would you believe that part over any of the other so-called lies I have made?
I have never given advice on an MOT - I wouldn't know where to start! I am not anti-MSE member.
Let's look at your most recent post. https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4060999
So, you and/or your wife lied about qualifications to get a job. That makes you both liars. Then you didn't lie about it, which makes you a liar for saying it in the first place. Which bit of liar doesn't apply?0 -
sho_me_da_money wrote: »Accurate and Balanced???? You sure your not stood on a Wii Fit board playing archery?
Your so-called accurate and balanced advice got me nowhere.Upon review of your comments, they offered nothing, zero, nadda.
Well of course they didn't, your "wife" was in a very serious situation and got an equally serious sanction, there was no getting around that. That does not change the fact that the information you were given was accurate.0 -
DVardysShadow wrote: »Gahhh!!!
The only female who has reacted to the Opening Post with any maturity is KiKi. Marybelle and Sambucus Nigra seem to have gone off on one, seeming to be suffering from some kind of inferiority complex and a need to put down the OP.
Now perhaps one lesson for OP is that he can generate that kind of response, but equally, his boss, being boss should be the better person.
There is a difference between men and women in psychological make up and it is P ing in the wind to deny it. And models of behaviour which work for dealing with male bosses won't necessarily work for female bosses.
Part of the problem, I think is that OP really could run rings around his boss - she is aware of it and is reacting inadequately.
I think that there is a genuine issue here which actually deserves an answer rather than a load of reverse sexism. The issue of how a male with substantially more experience deals with a female boss who feels inadequate and threatened when teh male has ambition for the role but not for his bosses job.
Sambucus Nigra and Marybelle, in your eagerness to attack OP, you have missed out on empathy for his boss and you have missed the opportunity to say how OP could support his boss and avoid making her feel threatened. [Someone please quote my response because I know Sambucus Nigra has me on ignore and I suppose she should have a chance to respond.]
Quoted. For the attention of Sambucus.
And I agree, they lack heart.0 -
marybelle01 wrote: »I have never given advice on an MOT - I wouldn't know where to start! I am not anti-MSE member.
Let's look at your most recent post. https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4060999
So, you and/or your wife lied about qualifications to get a job. That makes you both liars. Then you didn't lie about it, which makes you a liar for saying it in the first place. Which bit of liar doesn't apply?
And now im claiming im not a liar. So I guess we're in a looped mess.
Believe what you want man. I'll stick to what I know and you stick to what you know. CBA longing this out.0 -
DVardysShadow wrote: »Gahhh!!!
The only female who has reacted to the Opening Post with any maturity is KiKi. Marybelle and Sambucus Nigra seem to have gone off on one, seeming to be suffering from some kind of inferiority complex and a need to put down the OP.
Now perhaps one lesson for OP is that he can generate that kind of response, but equally, his boss, being boss should be the better person.
There is a difference between men and women in psychological make up and it is P ing in the wind to deny it. And models of behaviour which work for dealing with male bosses won't necessarily work for female bosses.
Part of the problem, I think is that OP really could run rings around his boss - she is aware of it and is reacting inadequately.
I think that there is a genuine issue here which actually deserves an answer rather than a load of reverse sexism. The issue of how a male with substantially more experience deals with a female boss who feels inadequate and threatened when teh male has ambition for the role but not for his bosses job.
Sambucus Nigra and Marybelle, in your eagerness to attack OP, you have missed out on empathy for his boss and you have missed the opportunity to say how OP could support his boss and avoid making her feel threatened. [Someone please quote my response because I know Sambucus Nigra has me on ignore and I suppose she should have a chance to respond.]
Entirely happy to oblige before putting you on ignore too! The OP made his position clear. Yes, Kiki made a good response but that does not invalidate the OP's attitude that that fault was with his boss because she was female, nor does it prove that more years experience makes one better at a job. 20 years experience may make you better at a job - it can also make you outdated and out of touch.0 -
mynameistallulah wrote: »Well of course they didn't, your "wife" was in a very serious situation and got an equally serious sanction, there was no getting around that. That does not change the fact that the information you were given was accurate.
Ahhh ok. I get you now. NOT! Leave it be man, I CBA with your inexperienced advice also. You need more experience when it comes talking about the level of expertise I have in employment issues.
Don't hate. Appreciate.
Now back to the OP.0 -
You can edit your first post and title if that helps...hit 'EDIT' on your first post and you can change the title.
Re your actual issue, it could be that your boss isn't as good as you could be, and that she either senses that, or doesn't know how to deal with you, and so she chooses to raise specific issues with the director. It could be that she feels threatened, and so is reacting to that.
It could also be - and I'll throw this out there! - that she's not that bad or incapable, but you telling her you don't want her job (ie, suggesting you are better than she could be - she may have read it that way) has made her feel a bit insecure, or made her feel you're judging / watching her performance. It could also be that with all your experience that some of what you say / know / do isn't as relevant to this specific company or industry, and she perceives you as stuck in your ways, or not delivering as she needs you too, whether reality or not.
I don't know which is true - and most of us aren't very good at being objective about ourselves when it comes to work performance and how others see us. But if you want to resolve it, I'd suggest you sit down / webinar (if abroad) with her, and clear the air as much as you can. Let her have her say and - even if you disagree with what she says about you - take it on board and reflect on it, and offer your support / reiterate commitment to the cause etc. Nothing worse than a relationship with a boss which doesn't work.
ETA: okay, of course there are things which are worse, but you know what I mean!
HTH
KiKi0 -
marybelle01 wrote: »Entirely happy to oblige before putting you on ignore too! The OP made his position clear. Yes, Kiki made a good response but that does not invalidate the OP's attitude that that fault was with his boss because she was female, nor does it prove that more years experience makes one better at a job. 20 years experience may make you better at a job - it can also make you outdated and out of touch.
The whole "because she was a female" has been taken out of context. Perhaps the OP was not trying to be sexist. I nor Kiki certainly didnt think so.
It comes down to a matter of interpretation. If you are negative and nit picky, you will always find a sexist type of issue regarding the OPs initial post. However, if you are great, positive and full of muscle, like me, kiki and DV, then you can clearly see the root of the OPs issue.0 -
marybelle01 wrote: »Entirely happy to oblige before putting you on ignore too!Hi, we’ve had to remove your signature. If you’re not sure why please read the forum rules or email the forum team if you’re still unsure - MSE ForumTeam0
-
DVardysShadow wrote: »Errr Ouch?? Errr
Mate,
Don't worry about that. She only bows down to the Superior Sambucus.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.5K Life & Family
- 258.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards