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Problem with Office Manager
Comments
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sho_me_da_money wrote: »Course it was a win. It wasn't a dismissal as you and the motley crew had predicted.
Had she not of been made another offer of employment, we would have appealed and gone to Tribunal based on the advice of proffesionals who have been in the industry for 20+ years rather than a accept defeat based on the advice of Lloyd and Harry.
Ah yes, all these "professionals" that you claim to know, yet you still keep returning to MSE for advice! :rotfl:0 -
Genuine question, OP: why do you assume that your issue is because your boss is female, rather than your boss is just not very good?
Because the second issue I could offer something constructive on. Unfortunately, because you've made it about her gender (rather than her capability), you may have just alienated half the people on this board.
My current boss is fabulous. She's a great business woman, savvy, commercial, has run start ups, consultancies, worked abroad, and although she's quite new to managing teams, she's doing well with it. I've had great male bosses: helpful, understanding, pragmatic and really nice to work for. I've not worked for many bad bosses, but one was female - a very, very toxic woman indeed - and one was male, completely useless and unknowledgeable about his directorate and the business.
It's about the person, not their gender. But perhaps your perception that it's about gender is the reason you don't get on with her.
KiKi0 -
ttoli, just to make you aware that the name of your employer is visible in your profile - might be worth removing it so this thread cannot be linked to you?0
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I agree. I find it very difficult to work for someone if they really aren't very good at their job, and I know I could do a better job than them.
But I don't assume it's because of their gender, I assume it's their capability! And that's what people are reacting to.
KiKi
Agreed. There are some real gems on MSE.
As Kiki has said, I don't think this is a gender issue. I think it comes down to the fact that she is unaccepting of your views because you are stronger than her in this field. Perhaps she sees you as a threat.
You do not sound like a harsh person and are content with the role you have. All we need now is her believing that and you both working in the best interests of the business.0 -
mynameistallulah wrote: »Ah yes, all these "professionals" that you claim to know, yet you still keep returning to MSE for advice! :rotfl:
Yes MSE.....not the negative forum police.
What I have learned about MSE is that there are:
1. Experts who are know there stuff
2. There are dellboys and rodneys who claim to know there stuff
3. There are trouble causers.
When you post, you have to take the heat of 2 and 3 before finding the diamond in the rough.
Apologies to OP for this side-issue but someone needs to make a stand against these forum kiljoys.0 -
Thanks Kiki for the insight, sorry that it came out that way(and with the heading that I gave, No wonder why).
You can edit your first post and title if that helps...hit 'EDIT' on your first post and you can change the title.
Re your actual issue, it could be that your boss isn't as good as you could be, and that she either senses that, or doesn't know how to deal with you, and so she chooses to raise specific issues with the director. It could be that she feels threatened, and so is reacting to that.
It could also be - and I'll throw this out there! - that she's not that bad or incapable, but you telling her you don't want her job (ie, suggesting you are better than she could be - she may have read it that way) has made her feel a bit insecure, or made her feel you're judging / watching her performance. It could also be that with all your experience that some of what you say / know / do isn't as relevant to this specific company or industry, and she perceives you as stuck in your ways, or not delivering as she needs you too, whether reality or not.
I don't know which is true - and most of us aren't very good at being objective about ourselves when it comes to work performance and how others see us. But if you want to resolve it, I'd suggest you sit down / webinar (if abroad) with her, and clear the air as much as you can. Let her have her say and - even if you disagree with what she says about you - take it on board and reflect on it, and offer your support / reiterate commitment to the cause etc. Nothing worse than a relationship with a boss which doesn't work.
ETA: okay, of course there are things which are worse, but you know what I mean!
HTH
KiKi' <-- See that? It's called an apostrophe. It does not mean "hey, look out, here comes an S".0 -
sho_me_da_money wrote: »Yes MSE.....not the negative forum police.
What I have learned about MSE is that there are:
1. Experts who are know there stuff
2. There are dellboys and rodneys who claim to know there stuff
3. There are trouble causers.
When you post, you have to take the heat of 2 and 3 before finding the diamond in the rough.
Apologies to OP for this side-issue but someone needs to make a stand against these forum kiljoys.
"Forum kiljoys" - you mean those of us who have experience in the field and give accurate and balanced advice? You see, even when it is obvious you are making it all up, sat there in your little bedsit on your lonesome, I would still rather give honest and accurate advice because it might help someone genuine one day.0 -
marybelle01 wrote: »You are a self confessed liar and troll. And you think I want your respect??? That wasn't what you were saying when you were PM'ing me because I was the only idiot on the board, as a newbie, who actually believed you, was it? When everyone else slated you, because they knew your history and your several different user id's, you didn't think to mention that you were a liar, when I went out of my way to help you and it was you who PM'd me, because I was stupid enough to believe you? Don't even bother to deny it. I still have the messages.
I am not denying anything. But what I am peeved off about is your hard-a%$ attitude whenever someone is looking for help. Its like you have morphed from a Butterfly into a catterpillar.
You take an anti-MSEMember approach EVERY TIME. Be it about employment, MOT or seeking advice on how to establish a relationship with a colleague.
And again, if I am a self-confessed liar. Why would you believe that part over any of the other so-called lies I have made?0 -
mynameistallulah wrote: »"Forum kiljoys" - you mean those of us who have experience in the field and give accurate and balanced advice? You see, even when it is obvious you are making it all up, sat there in your little bedsit on your lonesome, I would still rather give honest and accurate advice because it might help someone genuine one day.
Accurate and Balanced???? You sure your not stood on a Wii Fit board playing archery?
Your so-called accurate and balanced advice got me nowhere.Upon review of your comments, they offered nothing, zero, nadda.0 -
Gahhh!!!
The only female who has reacted to the Opening Post with any maturity is KiKi. Marybelle and Sambucus Nigra seem to have gone off on one, seeming to be suffering from some kind of inferiority complex and a need to put down the OP.
Now perhaps one lesson for OP is that he can generate that kind of response, but equally, his boss, being boss should be the better person.
There is a difference between men and women in psychological make up and it is P ing in the wind to deny it. And models of behaviour which work for dealing with male bosses won't necessarily work for female bosses.
Part of the problem, I think is that OP really could run rings around his boss - she is aware of it and is reacting inadequately.
I think that there is a genuine issue here which actually deserves an answer rather than a load of reverse sexism. The issue of how a male with substantially more experience deals with a female boss who feels inadequate and threatened when teh male has ambition for the role but not for his bosses job.
Sambucus Nigra and Marybelle, in your eagerness to attack OP, you have missed out on empathy for his boss and you have missed the opportunity to say how OP could support his boss and avoid making her feel threatened. [Someone please quote my response because I know Sambucus Nigra has me on ignore and I suppose she should have a chance to respond.]Hi, we’ve had to remove your signature. If you’re not sure why please read the forum rules or email the forum team if you’re still unsure - MSE ForumTeam0
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