Post Your Telephone Sales Wind Ups Here!

allIcouldwishfor

Here's the murder scene cold caller gag which a previous poster mentioned.

Our number is very similar to our local branch of B&Q so we get a lot of wrong number calls. One Sunday morning, I was decorating (the irony!!) and another branch of B&Q rang, wanting to know if we had something in stock, adamant he'd rung the right number, despite me informing him otherwise. After the guy had got me down from the ladder 3 times, I gave the phone to OH who went along with the guy and looked up the required part numbers on the B&Q website, telling him what was and wasn't in stock and discussing alternatives with him. He was on the phone for a good 5 minutes, with a fair few "Hang on, I'll just go and check in the warehouse" pauses, before he told the guy that we weren't B&Q and he should take more care dialling.

Callers for B&Q do get told it's a wrong number, but sometimes I think they must just press the redial button (duh!) because they ring back 10 seconds later. I often hear OH telling repeated callers we've got 20% off everything this weekend and that the store closes at 5pm on a Sunday. Shame the branch of B&Q closed down ages ago and there's now "luxury apartments" where it used to be!

LilacPixie

I found this funny, husband less so......

We were at home midweek evening, I was home from work and getting tea ready, husband just home after picking up oldest from nursery. Front door bell rings.

Mr Pixie: I'll get it.
:: opens door::
Cold caller salesman: Is your mum home??
Mr Pixie closes door.
Door knocks again. Mr pixie opens
CCS: I asked you is your mum home??
Mr Pixie : I don't know, fly to lisbon and ask her now get off MY property.


I was honestly almost wetting myself with laughter. I know we are both reasonably young but really none of us looks like a child and OH has a damm beard.

slig

Someone rang my mum telling her she'd 'won' a cruise, and she somehow managed to get the person calling to agree to look after her dog whilst on the cruise, and then late he agreed to go on the cruise with her. I think he was quite disappointed when at the end of the call she said she was married and so would not be going on the cruise with him.

debt_free_me

Southernscouser - I have only just read your first post from 2007 when you claimed to be a squatter - I just had to tell you I properly laughed at that, well done and thanks for the laugh! :rotfl:

cb66

I've just been reading these, (I am up to page 6), when my phone rings.

Caller: Are you the owner of this BT phone number.
Me: No.
Caller:Is that a business?
Me: No.
Caller: So you are the owner of the phone number.
Me: No, I don't own the number I just rent it from BT.
Caller: er right well...waffles on about using internet connection to enable me to have free calls for £5.95 a month. Asks me what the line rental is.
Me: I don't know.
Caller: Does your husband look at the bills
Me: no, we both do, but only at the total bill. (we do look at it all really, and have a good deal).
Caller: repeats above waffling. Then asks me about my modem.
Me: We don't have an internet connection.
Caller.You don't have an internet connection.
Me: nope.
Caller:Oh, goodbye.

Jennica28

QueenB. wrote: »

We get phone calls for someone else as well, the strange thing is that that person never lived at our address and when they tell us the address they have for the person its not even our address.

In fact i have had companies phone me asking for this other person and when i say that they don't live here the seller trys to sell me whatever itis they are selling. I always turn around and say that if they can't get my name right and have confusion over where someone else lives then how can they expect me to ever consider a company who obviously is badly organised and run.

That's because good old BT re-sell phone numbers - we get exactly the same thing happening.

Culex

fraz1975 wrote: »

This is how I deal with all Home Improvements Companies, never fails and I dont think any of them have the bit in the training manual about overcoming objections (yes i used to be one of these horrible sales people) to cover this :

Them : Hi I'm from such and such a company, we are currently in your area and were wondering if you could improve one room in your home what would it be ?
Me : I'm actually moving house very soon
Them : Oh OK thanks then

Short, simple, polite and effective

So would be my reply, "The dungeon"