Post Your Telephone Sales Wind Ups Here!

southernscouser

Simply Direct just phoned me. Enjoy! I did!

SD (Simply Direct): Hello is that Mr SS.
SS (Thats me): Yes

SD: Hello Mr SS. I phoning from Simply Direct, based in Birmingham (via Dehli :rolleyes: ) we offer finance solutions blah blah.
SS: OK

SD: Do you have a mortgage?
SS: No

SD: So you own your house outright?
SS: No

SD: You rent?
SS: No

SD: You live with parents?
SS: No. I'm a squatter.

SD: Sorry!
SS: I break in to peoples houses and live there.

SD: Excuse me?
SS: I live in other peoples houses.

SD: So you rent?
SS: No. I squat

SD: (operater gives a confused laugh) Ermmmm...........
SS: (trying not to burst out laughing)

SD: OK thanks, goodbye.
SS: Laters!

:rotfl:

ancasta_2

Me: Hello?
TS (telesales barely speaking english) : Im calling from <insert name here>. Do you have a mobile?
Me : No and im busy. I have to go now. bye

1 minute later they ring back

Me: Hello?
TS (telesales) : Im calling from <insert name here>. Do you have a mobile?
Me : No and ive just told you that when you rang, Do you not understand english?

every minute or so they ring back for 10 mins.. i know i shouldnt answer but it was a bit disruptive getting it on knowing they were ringing

Me: Hello?
TS (telesales) : Im calling from <insert name here>. Do you have a mobile?
Me : NO MAN !!!!!! im trying to get laid
TS : Is laid the name of your mobile phone provider?
Me : No its a word for sex
TS : Is sex your mobile phone provider?
Me : F*** Off im trying to have sex with my husband
TS : Not to worry madam you can sex me on the phone.

I had to hang up, i was dumbstruck. It was the best offer i'd had in AAAAGES and as a result we couldnt finish what we started because we kept laughing at my phone offer!!!

He didnt ring back though to follow through lol

MustStopSpending

That's classic, wish I could think of these things when people call.

catewithers

That is so funny!!!!!!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

southernscouser

C'mon there must be more!

Beth86

I either speak really slowly, over pronounce every word or act really dim. (which isn't hard for me) :rotfl:

dawnybabes

My friend passes the phone to her 5 year old daughter for her to tell them about her day at school. My mum just spends all the time saying thats for me to know and you to find out .....

dawnybabes

Reminds me of a dirty phone call I got years ago - answered the phone to lots of heavy breathing, he was getting very excited but couldn't speak just panted some more so told him as he was shy I'd help and i was wearing white panties - he hung up - obviously wanted someone more submissive !

cardtart_2

Ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, are they married?, kids?, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.Or you can say you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her HOME phone number so you can call him/her back. When they explains that telemarketers cannot give out their HOME numbers you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?"

southernscouser

dawnybabes wrote: »

Reminds me of a dirty phone call I got years ago - answered the phone to lots of heavy breathing, he was getting very excited but couldn't speak just panted some more so told him as he was shy I'd help and i was wearing white panties - he hung up - obviously wanted someone more submissive !

Oh my god I remember you saying that! :eek:

lewt

i just say hang on i'll get the wife, and put the phone on the side then leave it for 10 or so mins and see if their still there. if they are say she's just coming