Post Your Telephone Sales Wind Ups Here!

Beth86

That just reminded me, the best thing I have ever heard.

I used to work for NTL and frequently listened in on conversations from the Indian call centres.

One customer asked what the agents name was and his reply was 'Hold on, I'll find out now'

:rotfl:

Chrismojam

My OH usually keeps them talking whilst he disconnects the telephone from the wall..............

Me...I'm usually polite....I have learnt my lesson...a few times I've tried to be polite and got nowhere and just turned the phone off and ranted on about what !!!!!! etc etc they were only to find that they were actually still connected and had heard everything I said...ah that was funny:D

golddigger_3

I always get India phoning firstly saying their name is johnathon or mary to which I reply "no it is not - you know its not and I know its not!"
They continue by asking to speak to mr Geels Eevens (my hubby Giles Evans)! I always say Im sorry theres no-one of that name here - if you would like to pronounce our name right we will speak to you
Dont really get much of a response to that - too many confusing long Ebnglish words that arent on their script!!!

tigzem

MinnieSpender wrote: »

Ring!!! Ring!!!
Ring!!! Ring!!!

MinnieSpender: Hello?
Cold Caller: Is that Miss Spender?
MS: Who wants to know?
CC: I'm calling from the Conservatory Company and I have a wonderful offer for you today.
MS: How marvellous! Do tell!
CC: We can offer you a conservatory at a rock bottom price which will add to the price of your home.
MS: That's very generous.
CC: Yes, indeed, Miss Spender. Do you have a lot of space?
MS: Oh, you wouldn't believe! As far as the eye can see!
CC warming to his theme: So would you perhaps be interested in our de luxe model?
MS: Oh, I certainly would...

Conversation continues in this vein for a good 20 minutes as CC tells me about all the features of his conservatory.

CC: So, can I book one of our representatives to come and see you?
MS: Most definitely!
CC: Can I check your address? blah blah blah
MS: Yes that's right.
CC: OK, he'll be along to see you next week.
MS: I have one question.
CC: Yes?
MS: Does your rep have trouble with stairs?
CC: pause ... No...
MS: That's great! Because I live on the ninth floor!
CC: hangs up

Brilliant!! Had me laughing out loud :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

lynsayjane

I think I waste too much of my precious time trying to not be racist on the phone to some of these people so in future I'm going to pretend to gibber in polish at them, see how they like it.


(apologies to anyone who thinks I'm rasist, I'm not, I dislike everyone who isn't me regardless of race )

Dumbledore55

Cold Caller: Can I interest you in Double Glazing/ Banking/Car Insurance etc?
DD55: Can I interest you in a taxi?
Cold Caller: No
DD55: Well when you want a taxi ring me and when I want doubleglazing etc, I'll ring you in the meantime....get off my phone!

I don't actually drive a taxi, but it does get my point across!

My brother in law just quotes his shopping list to them:

Cold Caller: Can I interest you in double glazing?
BIL: Half a dozen eggs
Cold Caller: I said, can I interest you in double glazing
BIL: 6 First Class stamps

Some persevere but others just decide he's deaf and hang up pretty quickly.

finallydebtfree!!

MinnieSpender wrote: »

Ring!!! Ring!!!
Ring!!! Ring!!!

MinnieSpender: Hello?
Cold Caller: Is that Miss Spender?
MS: Who wants to know?
CC: I'm calling from the Conservatory Company and I have a wonderful offer for you today.
MS: How marvellous! Do tell!
CC: We can offer you a conservatory at a rock bottom price which will add to the price of your home.
MS: That's very generous.
CC: Yes, indeed, Miss Spender. Do you have a lot of space?
MS: Oh, you wouldn't believe! As far as the eye can see!
CC warming to his theme: So would you perhaps be interested in our de luxe model?
MS: Oh, I certainly would...

Conversation continues in this vein for a good 20 minutes as CC tells me about all the features of his conservatory.

CC: So, can I book one of our representatives to come and see you?
MS: Most definitely!
CC: Can I check your address? blah blah blah
MS: Yes that's right.
CC: OK, he'll be along to see you next week.
MS: I have one question.
CC: Yes?
MS: Does your rep have trouble with stairs?
CC: pause ... No...
MS: That's great! Because I live on the ninth floor!
CC: hangs up

Thats exactly what my dad did to a caller who was phoning aout paved driveways! keep him on the phone for nearly an hour before he told them we lived on the 7th floor! :rotfl:

another time he had one call about gym membership and he pretended to get upset, they asked if he was ok and he said he had had his legs amputated a little while ago (sick I know but it got them off the phone) they were so apologetic! although someone above must have made him pay as the following week he badly sprained his ankle and was off work for 6 months!!

southern_chick

MinnieSpender wrote: »

Ring!!! Ring!!!
Ring!!! Ring!!!

MinnieSpender: Hello?
Cold Caller: Is that Miss Spender?
MS: Who wants to know?
CC: I'm calling from the Conservatory Company and I have a wonderful offer for you today.
MS: How marvellous! Do tell!
CC: We can offer you a conservatory at a rock bottom price which will add to the price of your home.
MS: That's very generous.
CC: Yes, indeed, Miss Spender. Do you have a lot of space?
MS: Oh, you wouldn't believe! As far as the eye can see!
CC warming to his theme: So would you perhaps be interested in our de luxe model?
MS: Oh, I certainly would...

Conversation continues in this vein for a good 20 minutes as CC tells me about all the features of his conservatory.

CC: So, can I book one of our representatives to come and see you?
MS: Most definitely!
CC: Can I check your address? blah blah blah
MS: Yes that's right.
CC: OK, he'll be along to see you next week.
MS: I have one question.
CC: Yes?
MS: Does your rep have trouble with stairs?
CC: pause ... No...
MS: That's great! Because I live on the ninth floor!
CC: hangs up

this reminded me of something i heard a while ago from someone who did live in a flat (5th floor i think ) but the conservatory co wouldn't take no for an answer so she booked an appointment for them to come out and plan a conservatory for her!!! she asked the guy when he turned up exactly how they could secure it for her being that high up, she wasn't bothered by that company again!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

southernscouser

finallydebtfree!! wrote: »

another time he had one call about gym membership and he pretended to get upset, they asked if he was ok and he said he had had his legs amputated a little while ago (sick I know but it got them off the phone)

Thats not sick! Thats genius! :rotfl:

Crown

This Thread is hilarious. I dont know if I will use any of them but its certainly a alternative to the normal abuse I dish out.