Post Your Telephone Sales Wind Ups Here!

Scottishmummy

Oh there are some good ones here.

My 7yo DS has just started getting calls from a friend who phones to check if he is going out to play so reckons every call is for him. Couple of days ago the phone rang:
DS: I bet it's for me
I answered it: hello
CC: Is the homeowner in?
Me: Just a second......(To DS) you were right it is for you (and handed him phone)
DS: (to CC) I just knew it would be for me who is it?
Don't know the reply
DS: (toCC) I knew the phone call would be for me........eh? What did you say?.........Is that Adam?......Who is it then?........So who are you?..........But mum said the call was for me?...........Mum there's no one there now.

Me and DH were p!ss!ng ourselves. Will use this one every time now as long as DS is around.

chocaholic110

My step dad's mother listens to all the sales talk, saying "ooh, lovely!" then when they get to the end she says "And the company doesn't mind that I'm 93?". They don't stay on the phone long after that!

nearlyrich

We once got a call from a kitchen company at 7.45 pm on a Monday, DH handed the phone to me and I said in a really loud voice, do they not know Corrie is on? The phone went dead!

Now we are registered with TPS I ask for all their details, name company name, where they got my number from etc, then I say do you realise you are breaking the law? The phone usually goes dead pretty quickly.

I often get calls on my company mobile saying they can save me money, I don't pay anything for that phone so I always say, great you are going to pay me to have the new phone? Do you want my bank details to pay in the money LOL.

lwt2006

Are there any more of these, they're really funny!

impy78

It's not a sales call, but when we lived in Leeds, our telephone number was only 1 digit different to Lanes for drains, and we used to get loads of calls for them, and one day, we'd had about 10, when my housemate decided to have a bit of fun: (Bearing in mind he does the whole call with a ridiculous lisp)

Housemate: Hello

KFC Harehills: Hiya, this is Kentucky fried chicken, Harehills - we've got a bit of an emergency with our drains.

Housemate: Oh not you guys again, how many times have I told you - stop shoving bloody biscwits down the loo!

KFC: Pardon?

Housemate: Biscwits, loo - they just don't go together. Cause if you put a hobnob down there, they absorb the liquid, and then there's all hell brakes loose!

KFC: Eh?

Housemates: This is the seventh time this year, if it's not biscwits, it's chicken drumsticks!

KFC: Can you come and sort out our drains.

Housemate: Yes, but in the meantime, keep the biscwits out the u-bend...


I had to go out the front door at this point, because i was shrieking.

KellsBells

Coupon-mad wrote: »

I used to be a Financial Advisor and have found this to be a very useful answer to get rid of secured loan companies, so I just change my 'previous employer' each time to match the caller.

e.g. I got phoned yesterday by a will-planning service (I am only 41 and we do have wills already BTW). I just said I used to work for a Solicitor and would contact him if ever I wanted any wills advice. Works every time.

My 13 year old son has fun with them! He has a low voice and if they ask if he is the homeowner he always says yes and lets them rabbit on a bit, then puts the phone next to an animated Scooby Doo toy which plays 'we wish you a Merry Christmas' in Scooby's voice. Oh how we laugh!

Ha ha ha - That's AWESOME!! You just know I'm going to get one of the boys singing toys from their bedrooms now and leave it by the phone!!!! Brilliant!:rotfl:

msmicawber

These are all wonderful - thank you! Have a listen to this, as I think this guy has the best way of dealing with cold callers ever:

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2006/telemarketer-prank-p1.php

hula-hoops

Slightly different but I used to work in a call-centre (inbound only - no cold calling!) and our number was very similar to the Hotpoint service line.

Despite answering the phone with our company name (completely different to Hotpoint) and the fact that the company name made it obvious that we sold holidays, not fixed washing machines we would often have calls that went like this:

Us: (company name) Holidays. How can I help?
Caller: About bl@@dy time too! I've been trying to get through to you all day.
Us: I apologise for the wait - we are very busy today
Caller: All I want to know is when you are going to come and fix this washing machine here!
Us: Never.
Caller: What????
Us: We're not trained to repair washing machines, I'm afraid.
Caller: (getting very irate): Can I speak to a supervisor?
Us: I'm afraid she can't repair a washing machine either
Caller: Well there's no need for that. When are you going to send someone to fix this machine?
Us: Never.

Oh we had fun. But the sales manager then decided to run an incentive to see who could sell the most holidays to people who had actually called about their washing machines.

Helonearth

I think the two favourites I've had was the caller asking about our television viewing habits. I picked up the phone with the Eastenders opening tune blaring from the TV, and simply told the caller that we didn't own a television....

On a slightly different note, I also loved the time that the Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door and I offered them some pagan literiture in return for their leaflet. They left ever so quickly! I'm not even pagan, but I've kept it by the door ever since, just in case!

Helen
x

iceicebaby

When a jehovas witness used to call my ex husband used to say "Ah yes my lord satan said you would be visiting today" They used to be back down the path a bit quick!