Post Your Telephone Sales Wind Ups Here!

dizzy_lizzie

One particular night and due to boredom my teenage son decided to have a bit of fun with the next caller.
Caller
Is Mr or Mrs.....in?
Son (in a west country accent)? No I'm sorry they're abroad at the moment. I'm just the man who shines the shoes. I'll get the butler.
Son (in very posh accent) Hello I'm the butler, can I help you.
By which time the lady who had called, Scottish lady and obviously with a sense of humuor, was chuckling to herself and said
Okay I'll call back again.
She never did.

Sometimes we also answer the phone with "Hello home for the dissallusioned".
If it's friends it's fine, they know we're a bit crazy anyway!

immoral_angeluk

we had a telesales call for dh from citi financial or some rubbish like that today,either way it was an indian call centre... so I said no problem I'll go get him... I left it on the sofa for a few mins before giving it to Ashli (Who's 2).. who promptly started talking jibber jabber down the phone and pressing random buttons... she was on it for literally about 10 mins and all I could hear from the phone was 'hello! Hello? Mr Gills?' It was so hard not to cry with laughter.. Ash had a great time talking to her new friend the indian telesales bloke who's name was 'Mike robinson'....

Spikeyjaycee

I had a call centre call tonight. After a delayed connection (which is always a give-away that it is a call centre) the lady says "Hello. Is that the owner of this phone number?" to which I replied " No sorry, you have the wrong number!" laughed and hung up. My husband was pi**ing himself!

moneymaker2

My husband once asked a company(who were calling from India) that if they wanted to wait for an hour whilst he finished having sex with his wife then they could do. He made a few noises and they hung up. Hehe.
The other best thing to do if you have 3 way dialling is put them on hold whilst you get ''your partner'' and call up a local pizza place. Once you've placed an order with the pizza place ask if they can repeat the order back to you and connect them up with the cold caller.
Hillarious it really is. Even funnier when you do it with 2 chinese takeaways.....

gizfizz

my dad runs his own business, so gets alot of these calls at work some of his favourites are:

Cold Caller: Hello I'm from *insert company name here* we are doing a survey on *insert subject here* could I ask you a couple of questions, it will only take approx 30 seconds of your time (or words to that effect)
Dad: 5.. 4... 3... 2... 1... thats your 30 seconds up, goodbye (hangs up)

or

Cold Caller: Hello could i speak to your marketing manager/person who deals with telephones etc
Dad: Who's calling?
Cold Caller: I'm *insert name here* from *insert company here* we are doing a special deal on *insert rubbish offer here* etc
Dad: Did I ask you to call?
Cold Caller: No sir, would you be interested in taking up our offer
Dad: I didnt ask you to call so I don't want to talk to you, goodbye (hangs up)

one of these callers then called back and when dad answered the phone she said 'did I ask you to answer the phone?' and hung up lol

or

Cold Caller: Hello could i speak to your marketing manager/person who deals with telephones etc
Dad: Who's calling?
Cold Caller: I'm *insert name here* from *insert company here* we are doing a special deal on *insert rubbish offer here* etc
Dad: You are obviously not very busy otherwise you would not be calling for business, there must be a reason for this and so I would not use a company who are searching for customers. I am very busy and so do not need to call up people to try and get more customers, your company is obviously not good enough goodbye (hangs up)

my dad words it all much better than me its so funny to hear we all stop what we're doing so we can listen :rotfl:

beautifulgorgeous_2

I once very enthusiatically "accepted" the offer of a months free heath/ illness cover so the caller getting very excited about her comission said that she needed my account details. Me oh I don`t have a bank account.
Her so you cannot have the free offer.
Me that is sad etc. you are sure about that cos I did really want it etc.
Her No no no you must have a bank account.
Me so I can`t just have the free month then.
She hangs up.

Busybody

Had a call today,;) just told him I was the cleaner, :eek: He asked when the householder would be in, I said I was'nt sure so he went away sounding fed up!:T :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

GeorgiaW

This is so funny!:rotfl:

Has anyone got any more?

ooobedoo

I have caller ID, so when friends call I always say

Hello massage parlour, whats your pleasure.....so funny!

moj1966

Just love this thread.

A few years ago we got pestered by a kitchen company. So to be nice I made a appointment. They said myself and hubby had to be there.

Explained that I made all fiancial decisions, told them that I had bought and sold both houses we owned, organised new bathroom etc the only thing my hubby did was pay for it. well it was mostly true, I did do all the things but I help pay for them.

The sales man agreed to come around and just see me spent a hour listenig to his !!!!!! how he phoned up his boss to get discount etc etc.

Then he pulled out paper work for me to sign. I told him I could only spend £50.00 the kitchen he was offering was £5000. Told him I would need to phone hubby if I could go higher, got of the phone and said I could now offer him £100., he was so annoyed luickly for me I had a couple of boxer dogs , so he just left never been bothered by them again.:T