make do and mend for tougher times

Sunshine4

Byatt wrote: »

Spilt or spat? :rotfl::rotfl:

Spat:rotfl::rotfl:

GreyQueen

Sunshine4, I have to agree with the others; your cousin is well out of order.

IMO, unless there are mitigating factors like severe mental health problems, no adult has any business screaming at another adult because they didn't get their own way. It's pre-school behaviour and she should be ashamed of herself.

It's the height of rudeness to spend someone's money for them, or to hold the happy day hostage so that only big spenders can afford to attend. Even if you both had well-paid jobs, she doesn't know the inner circumstances of your life and what expenditures you have or plans you are saving hard for.

India Knight's The Thrift Book is well worth a browse and she has some pithy and scathing comments on those who ratchet up weddings and stag and hen nights into a weekend at a blinking spa or a week in Prague. I remember one of them; Your friends are happy for you but they're not that happy.

I was unimpressed when a cousin of mine who had willfully separated herself from the family to the extent that we only vaguely knew what town she was living in, suddenly recalled she had kinfolks when she wanted to get married. She hosted an "engagement party" and made it clear that gifts were expected. It was just a meet in the public bar of her local, not so much as a sausage roll or a packet of crisps and buy your own drinks.

I wouldn't have any truck with it and when the wedding invitation came thru shortly after (expectation of more gifts made clear) my name was mysteriously omitted. Gosh, terribly upset and all that - not!

The kicker as a few years later when Cousin was talking to Mum about the very expensive iron she'd got at her wedding (she'd demanded a certain make and model btw) and Mum said dryly I know it's a good iron because I was the one who bought it for you.

mardatha

We eloped and had two witnesses at our wedding and that was all

GreyQueen

mardatha wrote: »

We eloped and had two witnesses at our wedding and that was all

Aww that's romantic. Was it Gretna Green?

fuddle

mardatha wrote: »

We eloped and had two witnesses at our wedding and that was all

So did we Mar Isle of Aran

Possession

Does anyone want any soft toys? I have a whole black sack of cuddlies lots of which look brand new (probably because my children never touched them!).

Jennie_2

Well Sunshine it has taken your post to bring me out of Lurksville and into the thread:)

I can only echo what everyone has said and reiterate that you are right not to feel pressured into paying all that money for a hotel room. I hope you can still attend in some shape or form but I hope you stick to your guns.

It's a shame that people have lost sight of what a wedding is all about - the union of two people who are in love and want to build a life together. A friend of mine got in a pickle last year when she was asked to attend her nephew's wedding. She had little money yet she felt she couldn't go unless she had a new outfit and a "proper" present and she was quite prepared to get herself further into debt to "do the right thing". Such is the pressure to conform to what is expected.

Oh, by the way, hello everyone! :hello:

LavenderBees

Popperwell wrote: »

It has been mentioned but thank you for understanding the difficulty I am in...it would be tough but if income says similar I probably could stay put and absorb the costs but I dislike it being spent on what it would be...so chances are I will be looking to relocate...wish I could win the lottery, don't we all...

Then again Mum's savings could mean I could stay put for nearly two years but it would be awful seeing it not being put to better use...

But, you know, many of us have to use our savings for things we'd prefer not to...that's life.

littlecal

Erm,if you remember I'd painted the kitchen wall "wake up" red.....well I've just put the kitchen light on, Oh my good grief,it's like the tomato version of "you've been t@ngo'd":eek:

OH is home tomorrow but going away again on Saturday for a month,I think he'll be quite glad to be going this time:rotfl:

Popperwell

Sunshine4 wrote: »

We have been invited to a cousins wedding in a few months, it is about 90 minutes drive away at a very posh hotel. The invitation which arrivied today states that they have made a pre booking for a room for us overnight with breakfast at ONLY 90 pounds.I havent even said we were going yet.
I have just added up the cost for the two of us to go including present, clothes, room, drinks, and travel well over 200.

So I rang her first to explain that as I had lost my job and I had to budget very carefully we could not accept the invite and could she cancel the room.
Well all hell broke out and she started screaming how could I do that too her I ended up hanging up.
Do you think I did the wrong thing, she made me feel really bad.:(

You have nothing to feel guilty over and should(easier said than done)put it out of your mind. Really she should have checked before booking the room and if it is a few months away the room should be easily relet.

She should have been showing a more understanding side and saying how sorry she was for you...

Try to not let it upset you...I may dislike the situation I am in worry about the possible move from the house and I really wish in many ways I had someone in my life but in another way as I have no family any more I won't get pulled into upsetting situations like this and it happens in virtually all families.

Take care of you...