make do and mend for tougher times

stiltwalker

Sunshine - don't worry at all. You can only do what you can and don't let her make you feel bad about it - it is her manners that are lacking.

Fuddle - Well done!!!!

OH and I are getting married in half term (arranged so as to make it as easy as possible for family) we are having a simple do at the registry office with a small family meal after and a ceilidh in the village hall in the evening. That is far more 'us' and will also keep our costs down. We are not having a wedding list as we have all the stuff we need so it seems selfish to ask for a load of things we don't need, particularly when we know many of our friends are not terribly well off. Instead we are asking our friends and family to contribute their time, maybe helping out in the kitchen to dish up the pie and peas supper or talents like hairdressing or baking or failing all else to bring alcohol for the evening. That way we all get a good day without anyone having to spend a bundle.

Been off to buy the fabric for mine and DD's dresses with my mum today while my dad babysat the kids - I'm going to make my own, a 1950's number in a deep red, and my mum is going to make DD's, same red proper little girl's party dress style together with a simpler dress in the same fabric for spare/the evening do! The Asian fabric store we went to also a big table of fabrics for £1 a yard so just had to buy the odd yard (or 11!) for my bag making - not often you see fabric at that price these days.

ETA: Pooky - well said, I knew I liked your posting style!

Possession

What a lovely wedding that will be Stiltwalker. Congratulations!

Sunshine4

Stiltwalker Your wedding sounds lovely, hope you have a wonderful day.

Congratulations

manchestermargo

You must be really chuffed Fuddle, congratulations!

Also congratulations to Stiltwalker love the sound of your wedding plans.

I have been trying to grow my own veg in a raised bed provided by my HA. Went to have a potter this evening and someone has pulled up all of my little carrots, and they were little! Everything else has been left untouched. How weird is that!!

MM

cutestkids

I have to say I have been reading through this thread and some others over the last few days and can't believe what I am reading in some cases,
I do not want to cause offense Popperwell I think a bit of a reality check is in order.

I am sorry that you lost your Mum recently it must be difficult to adjust.
But to be honest the more I read the more annoyed I become as others have said you are in a fortunate position compared to some, there are many families out there in desperate need of housing and are unable to get a 3 bed house, while you moan about having to pay for the extra bedrooms in yours.

From reading through your posts on various threads you appear to have a long term condition that makes you reliant on various benefits, thats fine thats what they are there for, but you can't then complain if the money you get from your Mums estate has to be used for living costs, thats what the rest of us in the real world have to do,

You will have to pay your way until you fall below the thresholds again, that is life I'm afraid, you have had plenty from the government in various benefits so now it is time to give little back.

I wish I did not have to spend my money on my mortgage, council tax, etc but I do as do millions of others, if I or my partner were to become unemployed then our situation would be very much worse than yours, when you own your home there is very little help in the way of benefits so we would just have to suck it up.

Again I do not want to offend but to be perfectly honest I have found some of your posts about not wanting to pay rent to the government as you put it with your Mum's money quite offensive.

On one hand you are saying that you can not afford to heat your home, need to eat less but on the other nearly every day you tell us what you have bought and what you are going to buy, while I am sitting here wondering if I can afford the £30.00 for my child's sports club this term.

Perhaps be thankfull for what you have.

Hardup_Hester

Hubby & I got married last year, we had a handfasting in our back garden, we invited family & friends & spent £400, most of it on food & drink. We had about 40 people including 12 children. We all had a wonderful day.
Pops, you are lucky to have the choice of whether or not to move, hubby & I will have no choice, when we retire we will have to move as we have a mortgage & we both work in low paid jobs.
Hester

LavenderBees

Sunshine4 wrote: »

We have been invited to a cousins wedding in a few months, it is about 90 minutes drive away at a very posh hotel. The invitation which arrivied today states that they have made a pre booking for a room for us overnight with breakfast at ONLY 90 pounds.I havent even said we were going yet.
I have just added up the cost for the two of us to go including present, clothes, room, drinks, and travel well over 200.

So I rang her first to explain that as I had lost my job and I had to budget very carefully we could not accept the invite and could she cancel the room.
Well all hell broke out and she started screaming how could I do that too her I ended up hanging up.
Do you think I did the wrong thing, she made me feel really bad.:(

No, I think you did exactly the right thing on two accounts - one because you had to, and two because she sounds very selfish to only be thinking of herself.

Maybe send her a card/small pressie?

Still catching up on the thread so apols if others have already responded.

LB xx

ETA - Have caught up on the thread and changed my mind - don't bother with a card & pressie unless she contacts you to apologise. Honestly, some people!!

Byatt

Hardup_Hester wrote: »

Hubby & I got married last year, we had a handfasting in our back garden, we invited family & friends & spent £400, most of it on food & drink. We had about 40 people including 12 children. We all had a wonderful day.
Pops, you are lucky to have the choice of whether or not to move, hubby & I will have no choice, when we retire we will have to move as we have a mortgage & we both work in low paid jobs.
Hester

That sounds lovely Hester...:)

I quite like the idea of being married, I just don't like the idea of going through dating, getting to know someone, wondering if they feel the same, can I trust them, meeting the family and...
seeing me naked :eek: :rotfl::rotfl:

LavenderBees

Byatt wrote: »

That sounds lovely Hester...:)

I quite like the idea of being married, I just don't like the idea of going through dating, getting to know someone, wondering if they feel the same, can I trust them, meeting the family and...
seeing me naked :eek: :rotfl::rotfl:

Be frugal and keep the lights off :rotfl::eek::rotfl:

greent

Popping on to say Congrats to Fuddle :T