Partner problems- stolen money

MrTeacher

Okay, hello and sorry that my first post is such a negative one.

Two days ago I found out that my partner has stolen thousands of pounds from my account. I'm a supply teacher starting a permanent job in September and the money was for the rent, food, and days out over the summer. We have a boy, four tomorrow, who is not my child but has always known me as Dad. A girl, a year and a half old, and a baby due at the end of September.

We split due to the fraud and I contacted the police- I may be able to dispute the transactions and I don't want to become homeless due to her money spending ways. She has now been rehoused by social services and told that within thirty days she will be able to choose a house, and they'll pay for the deposit, first month's rent, etc.

I am now in a house I can't afford to pay rent on, with no money for food, and the children are with her. I'm a teacher and a brilliant parent, she has alcohol issues (bottles of vodka stashed around the house) and arguably neglects the kids- I've always done the housework when I arrive home in the evenings. She has lost her family- she's had money from all of them and nobody wants to know her.

I went to a solicitors drop-in session and they are calling me tomorrow.

Ideally I'd like the children to live with me. I know what she's like- in six months history would suggest that she will have spent her housing benefit and be chucked out of her new home, putting our children on the street. She's also likely to be drinking after the new baby arrives- hopefully not before but I have had to speak to her three times during the pregnancy about drinking too much (ie a bottle of 5% wine every other night, which I think is too much.) I hope none of this ends up happening but I'm at a negative point at the moment.

If anyone has any advice, please do post. I'm absolutely destroyed by my lovely children going- especially as it's my lad's birthday tomorrow.

Person_one

A few short months ago you loved and trusted her enough to make a baby with her, what on Earth has happened in the intervening time that's turned her into such a terrible person?

MrTeacher

I don't know. We rarely argue, have moved into a lovely new house, and I was amazed to see the amount of money that has vanished in two months. I had no idea this was coming; indeed, the pregnancy has seemed to be a fairly easy on so far.

She's turned down counselling for her drink issues (thrown the referral letters away) saying she's beaten the problem- but it's come up again three times in three years. Damn, why do some people have to be so irresponsible?

She's no real answer to where the money has gone. Just frittered away on tat.

pmlindyloo

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.

I am not going to cope on your relationship but on the practical aspects.

You will need some advice about your relationship breakdown/children/money etc. Hopefully the solicitor will be able to give you that.

In the meantime have you got enough money to survive? if you haven't any savings then you need to apply for Job Seekers allowance. You might be entitled to contribution based JSA if you paid sufficient NI contributions during the last two years. (This isn't means tested)

If you are not eligible for this then you may be eligible for income based JSA which is means tested. If you haven't savings above £6000 then you will be entitled to income based JSA which then passports you to full HB and CTB.

Trying to be practical here.

I am not sure how your partner has 'stolen' all this money unless you had a joint bank account or she had access to your account. I can't comment on that aspect.

I would advise you to visit the bank and ask for advice so that this cannot happen again.

RAS

If you seriously think the children will be neglected, you need to think about contacting Social Services. But it might be well to wait a little.

Does she still have access to any of the accounts? If so, you need to make sure that all further debits require both signatures.

Can you do any other sort of work over the summer? Tutoring? Even agency work in a warehouse?

Dunroamin

MrTeacher wrote: »

Okay, hello and sorry that my first post is such a negative one.

Two days ago I found out that my partner has stolen thousands of pounds from my account. I'm a supply teacher starting a permanent job in September and the money was for the rent, food, and days out over the summer. We have a boy, four tomorrow, who is not my child but has always known me as Dad. A girl, a year and a half old, and a baby due at the end of September.

We split due to the fraud and I contacted the police- I may be able to dispute the transactions and I don't want to become homeless due to her money spending ways. She has now been rehoused by social services and told that within thirty days she will be able to choose a house, and they'll pay for the deposit, first month's rent, etc.

I am now in a house I can't afford to pay rent on, with no money for food, and the children are with her. I'm a teacher and a brilliant parent, she has alcohol issues (bottles of vodka stashed around the house) and arguably neglects the kids- I've always done the housework when I arrive home in the evenings. She has lost her family- she's had money from all of them and nobody wants to know her.

I went to a solicitors drop-in session and they are calling me tomorrow.

Ideally I'd like the children to live with me. I know what she's like- in six months history would suggest that she will have spent her housing benefit and be chucked out of her new home, putting our children on the street. She's also likely to be drinking after the new baby arrives- hopefully not before but I have had to speak to her three times during the pregnancy about drinking too much (ie a bottle of 5% wine every other night, which I think is too much.) I hope none of this ends up happening but I'm at a negative point at the moment.

If anyone has any advice, please do post. I'm absolutely destroyed by my lovely children going- especially as it's my lad's birthday tomorrow.

You found this out two days ago and she's since been rehoused by the council and you've moved in to another house?

Do you really think that we're that stupid? Go away and troll somewhere else!

tattycath

Dunroamin wrote: »

You found this out two days ago and she's since been rehoused by the council and you've moved in to another house?

Do you really think that we're that stupid? Go away and troll somewhere else!

I thought he meant he was still in the same house he was in but unable to pay the rent because the ex has taken his money.
[She has now been rehoused by social services and told that within thirty days she will be able to choose a house, and they'll pay for the deposit, first month's rent, etc.]quote Mr Teacher
I took this to mean ss have found her temporary accommodation until they find her a house

midnightraven3

i read it as they had already split, and 2 days ago he found out about the money

and he was in a house he can no longer afford to pay on his own, their original house

:undecided:undecided

RAS

Dunroamin wrote: »

You found this out two days ago and she's since been rehoused by the council and you've moved in to another house?

Do you really think that we're that stupid? Go away and troll somewhere else!

Pardon?

The OP is living in the "marital home" which he now cannot afford as the rent money has been stolen.

And if the partner presented as homeless pregnant with two children, the Council will have had to house her, even if only in a hostel or B&B. Amazingly some Councils have spare properties and will allow her to bid after one month.

I suspect the woman is putting the best spin on her ability to house the children to prevent the OP having them and to ensure her CSa for the future?

j.e.j.

To be fair, 'rehoused by social services' could just mean she's in a grotty old B&B at the moment waiting for a house.

I did raise an eyebrow at her being housed within 30 days, (we were on the waiting list for years!!) but it can happen, if someone (usually someone with children..) happens to go into the highest priority banding.

I know what you mean, though Dunroamin. There's something about the original post that suggests there's more to this than meets the eye.

MrTeacher

I know... I've been truly amazed at where my taxes go. I thought it'd be a grotty B&B but it's a one bed flat apparently, and she told me that they'll pay her deposit, rent in advance, and the rest when she finds a place.

Other things-
All account access is now stopped- my two cards have been cancelled. I occasionally leave my wallet at home when I'm at work- forget to pick it up in the morning- and just as I know her pin code through osmosis (she's handed it to me at the KFC drive-thru before) she seems to know mine. She's also clearly noted the card details as there are charges for her mobile phone top up on my account.

I will contact the DSS but as a supply teacher 14% of my income is supposed to be holiday pay, ie my contract avoids paying me holiday pay by saying I've already had it- so I presume technically I'm not unemployed even though I have no income. I'll also look for additional work from tomorrow- great suggestion.

Neglect was a tough word to use; I think I really meant that it's going to be tough for her living on basic income support and having two young ones at 'home' whilst being pregnant.

If there is anything I can do to gain a bit more credit/belief here please do let me know, I know I only joined tonight but I've really been stumped as to finding friendly 'anonymous' advice. Plus being on a forum kills the time and takes my mind off the awfulness of the situation.