TS Father - Family Split

Mojisola

Ames wrote: »

Mrs.W, maybe your mother was worried that friends and acquaintances would see Other mother around and snigger at mother, or behind her back? Maybe as time goes on and that doesn't happen, or if it has happened it stops, she'll be able to be more accepting?

I would have thought it very likely this will happen - people just love to gossip about things like this - did she know along, is she really a lesbian, what did they get up to in the bedroom, etc. Mum is likely to feel very sensitive and may well misinterpret things people say and looks people give her whether they are family, friends, workmates or acquaintances. She's in for a very uncomfortable few months.

Dunroamin

Mojisola wrote: »

I would have thought it very likely this will happen - people just love to gossip about things like this - did she know along, is she really a lesbian, what did they get up to in the bedroom, etc. Mum is likely to feel very sensitive and may well misinterpret things people say and looks people give her whether they are family, friends, workmates or acquaintances. She's in for a very uncomfortable few months.

I appreciate that this happens when a couple have recently split up, particularly when something like this has been the reason for the split. In this case, the couple have been divorced for 12 years and most people will surely have forgotten that her ex ever existed.

DUKE

Well done you for sticking by your Dad! There's going to be people out there who feel that way for whatever reason. Your Mom's shocked just now, but maybe she'll get over it - hopefully. Just carry on being there for your Dad - wishing you & your Dad all the very best for the future xxx

Mojisola

Dunroamin wrote: »

I appreciate that this happens when a couple have recently split up, particularly when something like this has been the reason for the split. In this case, the couple have been divorced for 12 years and most people will surely have forgotten that her ex ever existed.

As she has two daughters, most people will assume there was a man in her life at some point. Unless she hasn't told anyone why she's being so upset recently, word will get round.

DUKE wrote: »

Well done you for sticking by your Dad! There's going to be people out there who feel that way for whatever reason. Your Mom's shocked just now, but maybe she'll get over it - hopefully. Just carry on being there for your Dad - wishing you & your Dad all the very best for the future

I would hope I would have been able to support both my parents if I had been ever in this position.

The OP's father has taken a very courageous step but what he has done will have an impact on the rest of the family. Whether others consider the OP's mother's valid or stupid is irrelevant. If she is feeling them, she needs support while she deals with them.

Mrs.W_2

The advice I was given here has paid huge dividends!

In February, OM and I wrote seperate letters to my Mum. We compared them afterwards, then sealed then in envelopes. It was another two weeks before I thought Mum was in an 'unstressed' enough state to receive them.

i.e. Not doing the end of month books, etc.

A few weeks later, Mum told me she was coming to terms with OM's explanation of her need for transformation, and when it was unimportant to her. That last aspect was a high feature of her life with Mum. (edit: sorry, can't be more direct about the contents of that letter.)

Mum was lucky she gave me that news over the phone. Had it been in person, I'd have held her in a bone-crushing hug!

Mum and OM are now regular joint features in our house for Sunday lunch. It's sometimes a little difficult, but on the whole we're doing well. And I'll do everything I can to keep us on the good road.

Oh, I want to add that OM has her consult at the transformation clinic in Charring Cross next month. The consultant's PA at Charring Cross is lovely. She and I have spoken because I'm taking OM to the appointment, and I needed to know the nearest step-free tube station to the hospital.

Call me a soft beggar, but I was rather touched when she said, "I look forward to meeting you because we don't see many daughters with their new Mothers."

Life is looking up. And a sizeable part of the 'up' is due to you lot taking the time to offer sound advice.

Thank you.

Florence22

Just read this thread for the first time - so happy for you Mrs.W that things are working out, hope you all have a happy future ahead xx

Slinky

Thanks for coming back with an update, I'm glad it's working out for you all.

skattykatty

I have just read this for the first time and have a crazy smile on my face! How wonderful to read and appreciate how time really can, and does heal, how patience, an open heart and the ability to take life one day at a time can transform a situation...am so pleased for you and yours. All the very best as you move forward together...many thanks for updating. Just wonderful!

harrys_nan

Thanks for the update, wishing you, your OM and your mum lots of love and good wishes, Here is to a brilliant future for you all xx