worried for my children.

January20

Could the posters who have berated and judged the OP stop and think for a minute? Have you ever been afraid of another person? afraid that they will come and assault you? Have you ever been in an emotionally and violently abusive relationship? Have you ever been afraid to open your door to your your ex?

I agree that the OP should stop contact but it's easier than done. It is likely the OP's ex is not going to give up easily. He knows where she lives. He knows where the girls go to school. Doesn't he?

OP, I think you need a solicitor, and to contact women's aid for advice, as well as probably contact the police before your ex finds out about contact (if you go ahead and deny him contact) so that if you need them they are forewarned.

emsywoo123

January20 wrote: »

Could the posters who have berated and judged the OP stop and think for a minute? Have you ever been afraid of another person? afraid that they will come and assault you? Have you ever been in an emotionally and violently abusive relationship? Have you ever been afraid to open your door to your your ex?

.

Yes thanks.

But she is a parent In my book that means protecting my children and facing upto and protecting them from dangerous situations.

lilmisschick

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Yes thanks.

But she is a parent In my book that means protecting my children and facing upto and protecting them from dangerous situations.

Thanks once again.

Social services have given advice to seek private law and closed the case as they are safe at home- as I thought.

CAB have said there is no proof of abuse. He has PR and the children want to go so I may have trouble stopping access if he is persistent.

I've got an appointment with a family solicitor tomorrow.

I never said after finding out all this that I would continue to allow them to go. Leave me alone now you awful bully.

Hiddenidenity

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Yes thanks.

But she is a parent In my book that means protecting my children and facing upto and protecting them from dangerous situations.

And going in all guns blazing wont pprtect them.

I've been in a similar position however I was still under the ex's control. I told him he wasnt having access etc for the final time just after my youngest was born. He came early hours one night climbed through a window and took my son from his bed. Luckily my son cried and I was woken up and he ran out the house and dragged my 2 year old around the front garden when the police arrived he threw him yes threw him to the ground so he could try and run. Now what if I hadnt woken? Or the police didnt arrive when they did?

What I'm saying is the op does need to think baout it and I think getting the school/SS involved was the right thing to but I bet it wasnt easy and seen as palming her daughter off.

OP I agree with poster who says to contact Womans Aid they will help to make sure your kept safe, call the police and warn them whats happening and you might need them.

dragonette

lilmisschick good luck and I hope you get it sorted quickly.

If you believe the dog is being abused (and it seems you do), I think you can report that anonymously to the RSPCA, or SSPCA in Scotland. Its not fair that the dog should get hit with a belt, and from the description your daughter gave you it seems unlikely that your ex will care for it properly at other times either.

If he is deemed to be unfit to keep the dog, it can only support your case for supervised access.

Again, good luck with the soliciter

scooby088

geri1965 wrote: »

For starters, report him to the RSPCA for hitting the dog. Maybe a visit from them might make him think twice.

Now you say report him to rspca? What twisted logic, he may see sense to not hit his kids how odd to say that. Kids are more important than the dog !!!!!!.

GraceJamesMum

paddedjohn wrote: »

OP, how can you come on here asking strangers for advice when you know all this is going on? You as their Mother should know the answer straight away, as a Mother its your duty, your job, to protect your kids but it doesnt sound to me that you are prepared to do that.

Sorry, but being a mum (or dad) does not mean you 'know the answer straight away' .... you do your best, and that sometimes means putting your hands up and saying you need help or advice (isn't that the whole point of these forums???)

It sounds like the OP has been through c**p at the hands of this man also, so not easy to stand up to him without support.

Stop being so judgmental.

IMHO

emsywoo123

lilmisschick wrote: »

Thanks once again.

Social services have given advice to seek private law and closed the case as they are safe at home- as I thought.

CAB have said there is no proof of abuse. He has PR and the children want to go so I may have trouble stopping access if he is persistent.

I've got an appointment with a family solicitor tomorrow.

I never said after finding out all this that I would continue to allow them to go. Leave me alone now you awful bully.

I hope you feel better for calling me a bully.

Quote:
I am not wanting to stop access completely as this is not what the girls want but I cant allow them to be in this awful situation anymore. Oldest daughter is also concerned that he is going to be really angry with her for 'telling on him' (this has happened before).

And you still say you never said you would allow them to go?

I'm glad you have a solicitor.

Hiddenidenity

emsywoo123 wrote: »

I hope you feel better for calling me a bully.

Quote:
I am not wanting to stop access completely as this is not what the girls want but I cant allow them to be in this awful situation anymore. Oldest daughter is also concerned that he is going to be really angry with her for 'telling on him' (this has happened before).

And you still say you never said you would allow them to go?

I'm glad you have a solicitor.

She doesnt want to stop access altoghther ...

She wants supervised access

lilmisschick

emsywoo123 wrote: »

I hope you feel better for calling me a bully.

Quote:
I am not wanting to stop access completely as this is not what the girls want but I cant allow them to be in this awful situation anymore. Oldest daughter is also concerned that he is going to be really angry with her for 'telling on him' (this has happened before).

And you still say you never said you would allow them to go?

I'm glad you have a solicitor.

Yes I do, because you have implied I am a bad mother who does not care for my children. I'm not going to justify myself on this any further.

I used the word 'conpletely' meaning forever, or without supervised contact because by me not allowing then to know their father is just as detrimental to a child's life too. I then proceed to say but I cannot allow them to go.

Interpret how you like. I think judging by the amount of times you post (considering you jumped on both my threads 3 years apart) goes to show you have nothing better to do with your own life than to sit and judge others.