Concerned about OH's driving and attitude!

Idiophreak

andygb wrote: »

regularly brags to work mates about how quickly she gets home

Next time she's bragging to someone, just say

'Yeah, Mr Johnson at Number 32 thought you were a great driver, when you "didn't see" his car and reversed straight into it...'

In relationships, like life, it's better to burn out than fade away

duchy

She's working -you're at home playing on the internet all day (Oh you mean stay at home OH's do more than that ? Sorry all the women driver stereotype comments on here must have sent me back to the 1970s for a moment). You rang her at work to have a moan -Why would you do that ? Ringing her about something that she could do nothing about until she got home anyway-It would and should have waited.

Not sure what you think it would have achieved ? Surely a sensible discussion at home would be more sensible than disrupting her work needlessly. Perhaps you're a little resentful she has a job and you don't at the moment in which case I can see why this would irritate as the obvious comeback is -"Well I bought car". TBH ringing her at work to moan rather than waiting to discuss it when she got home did make me think "You sound like a parent not a partner" too.

I'd just make sure she does pop round to see the neighbours tonight and then have a chat but really I do agree it's about more than an early morning bump.

david29dpo

Is she French?

colino

Of course the basic, frightening issue exposed by someone so cavalier about throwing about a tonne plus of metal with no skill or regard is that eventually they are going to accidentally hurt themselves, or someone else, with their "attitude".

andygb

david29dpo wrote: »

Is she French?

No, but I know where you are coming from. One of her workmates was French (he left the job because staff were getting p&&d off with him), and he used to regularly hit other people's car doors when getting in and out of his own battered vehicle. It all came to a head, when one of the male workers had a few strong words with him, and let him know what would happen if he did it again.

Tiddlywinks

kev225 wrote: »

....... Perhaps the way she treats the car, and her attitude towards it are symbolic of how she wants to react towards you. It seems to me you came on here for some support so you'll feel justified in having a go at her when she gets home.

I agree. Maybe she is just frustrated at having to bear the sole burden of earning for the family - I know that this is due to circumstance BUT it can still be scary when everyone depends on you and you alone..... and tiring as well, particularly with an early start where you're dog tired and just wished you could have had an extra 30 minutes in bed.

andygb wrote: »

I agree that I should have probably left the conversation for this evening.
I do not think that she does care about what she has done, either to her own property or to other people's.
We have only had this car about three months, and the other week, she raked it down the side by driving alongside a hedge instead of stopping to let someone pass. When I spoke to her about that, she simply said - "It is a stupid old car anyway". The car is a 55 reg Octavia in lovely condition (please note - the condition may change for the worse on a daily/weekly basis:()
The old car method would not work, because she is very materialistic, and she is earning the money at the moment anyway, which is one of the reasons she has given in the past, for treating the car how she likes - very adult and responsible.

On the other hand... we do only have one side of the story and this is only one incident but... you might want to consider whether your OH is a narcissist. If she cares about herself above others, feels that she can do her own thing regardless of consequences and gets angry and tries to force her way through regardless (in the case with the hedge) then this might explain her behaviour.

andygb wrote: »

Everything we have is OURS, and we don't have the money to simply wreck our/other people's property, quite apart from the fact that kind of attitude stinks.
We have been together for 22 years, and we can both criticise each other when criticism is called for.

Is she getting worse? 22 years is a lot of irritation to let build up... interesting that you use the word criticism.

Criticism is ugly - talking through how you both feel is the way to work things out.

I too think this is about your relationship - the car incident just illustrates how things are with you both.

andygb

duchy wrote: »

She's working -you're at home playing on the internet all day (Oh you mean stay at home OH's do more than that ?

I do all the work in the house, inside and out, including the administration. I accept that I have to do that in addition to looking for work. I get up every morning at 6.00 to make my OH breakfast.
I am actually very proud of my wife and the job she does.
As for stereotyping - there are plenty of blokes who drive badly, but women on the whole seem to have more "issues" with parking and reversing.

Gordon_Hose

If you'd have said that your wife was sat at home on the internet all day you'd have been lynched.

Equal rights when it suits.

mikey72

Starting to sound like the marriage forum on here. She'll be told to leave you soon.

Gordon_Hose

All the Relationships board witches will be over with their pitch forks and torches soon.