Concerned about OH's driving and attitude!

Mr_Thrifty

namecheck wrote: »

There may be underlying "issues" with your wife, as others have said, but perhaps she just sees a car as a means of getting from A to B (regardless of the consequences!).

She is clearly just a reckless person. Probably doesn't care about anything at all. If the car gets wrecked - so what, she'll think, just buy another. Probably has no regard to finances or personal responsibility whatsoever. Let me guess, fairly wealthy parents? Rarely suffers the consequences of her actions because others shield her from it? Fairly attractive? We all know the sort.

reeac

andygb wrote: »

This morning, as usual, I got up at 6.00, made my OH's breakfast, and then saw her off to work. As she drove out of her parking space (not particularly tight), she reversed into one of our neighbour's cars quite hard (enough to make it move). I went out to have a look, but thankfully there was no damage (to the neighbour's car, I will have a look at ours this evening).
I have just spoken to her on the phone, and asked her to be more careful, to have more consideration for our property, but more importantly for other people's. She then had a go at me, telling me that she didn't want to hear me moaning all the time. The problem is, that over the past ten years, her attitude seems to be getting worse. She has damaged every car we have had, and doesn't seem to want to take responsibility for anything. I do all the work in the house and out (which I don't mind at the moment, because I don't have a job), but she just takes everything for granted.
The thing is, I do not want her bad attitude affecting our good relations with neighbours.
Was I right to question her about this incident?

She must be the lady who parked next to me when I was sitting in my much-loved oldish XJ8 and opened her door into my door. I thought that it was an accident but when she did the same thing in order to put her parking sticker inside the windscreen I had to have a mild grumble - she seemed quite astonished.

kylehp04

I don't really see the problem as long as your OH is willing to pay for the damage she causes. As for the neighbors, as long as the damage is paid for and it hasn't written off their car they should see the funny side of it....accidents happen.....to some more than others

I think you need to worry less about what the neighbors think and worry more about taking care of the relationship and work out if you are both happy with your current circumstances. Maybe some changes will help.

jaydeeuk1

kylehp04 wrote: »

Maybe some changes will help.

Agree. Get shot of her. Or shoot her as advised above.

LittleMissAspie

andygb wrote: »

I have just spoken to her on the phone, and asked her to be more careful, to have more consideration for our property, but more importantly for other people's.

Sounds like a father going on at his teenage daughter. If she has paid for the car and is the primary driver then just make sure the insurance is in her name and leave her to make her own expensive mistakes. You aren't her dad, you're not there to teach her how to live.

Bennifred wrote: »

Hmm - possibly, but clothes/shoes/jewellery are perhaps more personal than money/car - especially if only one of them is being paid for the work they do.

No way, a car is very personal. My car will never be our car, nor will his car. People have different priorities in life, you and I obviously think very differently about our cars for instance. I don't think we would get on sharing one. The problems start when people share things like that, it leads to arguments over how you spend "our" money or how you treat "our" belongings. When each person has their own stuff, there is nothing to argue about.

cyclonebri1

andygb wrote: »

Cheers mate but it won't work.


Loads of garlic, a wooden stake and silver bullets, all washed down with holy water may do the trick though.

All joking apart, no damage done to either car, but her excuse was - "I didn't think that there was anything behind me"

Obviously all those years of driving experience did not include - looking in your mirrors when you reverse:D

Why do I just hope she reads this, the next post would make a best seller.

Advice or rather my view to the op;

When in a hole STOP digging.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Bennifred

LittleMissAspie wrote: »

No way, a car is very personal. My car will never be our car, nor will his car. People have different priorities in life, you and I obviously think very differently about our cars for instance. I don't think we would get on sharing one. The problems start when people share things like that, it leads to arguments over how you spend "our" money or how you treat "our" belongings. When each person has their own stuff, there is nothing to argue about.

I guess it depends on the relationship. We've managed to share without too many arguments (well - not over cars or money anyway!) for over thirty years. At various stages there has only been one "earner" but it has always been "ours" - otherwise there would have been problems.

andygb

Bennifred wrote: »

I guess it depends on the relationship. We've managed to share without too many arguments (well - not over cars or money anyway!) for over thirty years. At various stages there has only been one "earner" but it has always been "ours" - otherwise there would have been problems.

:beer:
This is exactly the way I look at life.

andygb

kylehp04 wrote: »

I don't really see the problem as long as your OH is willing to pay for the damage she causes. As for the neighbors, as long as the damage is paid for and it hasn't written off their car they should see the funny side of it....accidents happen.....to some more than others

I think you need to worry less about what the neighbors think and worry more about taking care of the relationship and work out if you are both happy with your current circumstances. Maybe some changes will help.

What a f%%%%%g great attitude - you obviously have no regard for your own or other people's property:(

andygb

LittleMissAspie wrote: »

Sounds like a father going on at his teenage daughter. If she has paid for the car and is the primary driver then just make sure the insurance is in her name and leave her to make her own expensive mistakes. You aren't her dad, you're not there to teach her how to live.

Everything we have is OURS, and we don't have the money to simply wreck our/other people's property, quite apart from the fact that kind of attitude stinks.
We have been together for 22 years, and we can both criticise each other when criticism is called for.