Concerned about OH's driving and attitude!

colino

At the risk of being sexist, but I'll crack on anyway, there is a difference in the sexes when it comes to cars. I wouldn't put it down to mere lack of mechanical sympathy, my better half criticises the way I hoover for example! However when it comes to cars, no matter how good, bad or indifferent the wheels are, depending on current business circumstances, there appears to actually be a negative attitude to the car.
Clearly because it is an automatic with two pedals, they are to be treated as switches, they being alternately pushed to the floor for maximum effect. Car park spaces that are narrower than gaps in traffic that she would not enter are squeezed into, and increasing amounts of violence used to batter open the door so she can alight 10 metres closer to the shop.
Ideally a parking space is too tight, in between two 4x4s straddling the white lines and underneath the only lampost in an area covered by the entire west of scotlands population of seagulls.
Additional kudos apparently goes to parking next to a high kerb (unusual because she tends to abandon instead of park) and again discovering that precast concrete does not yield to car door.
You have my sympathies but after a few years it is either a deal breaker or you ignore it.

Jinx

andygb wrote: »

This morning, as usual, I got up at 6.00, made my OH's breakfast, and then saw her off to work. As she drove out of her parking space (not particularly tight), she reversed into one of our neighbour's cars quite hard (enough to make it move). I went out to have a look, but thankfully there was no damage (to the neighbour's car, I will have a look at ours this evening).
I have just spoken to her on the phone, and asked her to be more careful, to have more consideration for our property, but more importantly for other people's. She then had a go at me, telling me that she didn't want to hear me moaning all the time. The problem is, that over the past ten years, her attitude seems to be getting worse. She has damaged every car we have had, and doesn't seem to want to take responsibility for anything. I do all the work in the house and out (which I don't mind at the moment, because I don't have a job), but she just takes everything for granted.
The thing is, I do not want her bad attitude affecting our good relations with neighbours.
Was I right to question her about this incident?

Shes moaning at you because you have called her at work to give her a row and because she knows you are right.... I do it to my hubby all the time lol

And there is no reason that she cant deal with the neighbours herself, if she was driving she can deal with the outcome.

I know that I did exactly what your wife did - reversed early morning straight into a company vehicle with no damage to them and a wee dent in mine (its a business) It was too early for anyone to be up so no-one answered the door and I had to stick a highly apologetic note through the door and catch them later in the day. The only upside is they no longer park opposite our drive half on half off the pavement! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

myhooose

You have my sympathies to some extent. My wife has a habit of slowly wrecking our two cars and has no awareness of how far doors open, usually hitting a wall or post with them. As a consequence we tend to keep the cars until they are ready for the scrap yard, as we would loose too much valve on the px with all the dings bumps and scrapes. She also lacks any kind of mechanical sympathy to the cars however can follow the most complicated and technical knitting patterns with ease. I put it down to her not being interested in the cars other than getting her from a to b.

It does annoy me each time I spot a new battle scar to the cars, however life is too short to get too stressed about it and I'm sure some of my characteristics wind her up equally.

cyclonebri1

cyclonebri1 wrote: »

Yes but I think you were wrong to post it here, marriage guidance anyone?.


Never a good idea to row over the phone either, it could have waited.;)

I stand by what I said above, it isn't a motoring issue, it's about your relationship and I'm not judging either of you.

Crabman

andygb wrote: »

As she drove out of her parking space (not particularly tight), she reversed into one of our neighbour's cars quite hard (enough to make it move). I went out to have a look, but thankfully there was no damage (to the neighbour's car, I will have a look at ours this evening).

First of all your neighbour needs to be made aware of the incident, so their car can be checked properly.

I'd be very surprised if an impact that was sufficient to make the vehicle move did not cause any damage. It may appear to be undamaged (superficially) but that doesn't mean it isn't damaged.

I think that would be the best way to proceed - your OH would have to pay for any damage caused and her insurance premiums will increase as a result. Some people only learn the hard way.

kev225

I can see it from her point of view. My OH stays at home and does the housework/looks after our son. I paid for my car, I pay it's upkeep and it does get a fair few dings and scrapes. But it's my car, my money, my choice. If my OH were to ring me up at work to give me earache I'd kick off too.

Perhaps the way she treats the car, and her attitude towards it are symbolic of how she wants to react towards you. It seems to me you came on here for some support so you'll feel justified in having a go at her when she gets home.

Obviously people are likely to agree with you on here, they've only heard your side of the story.


I can imagine another thread started by her (if she wasn't at work paying for the roof over your heads):

"My OH stays at home all day as a self appointed house husband, criticises me whenever he gets the chance and badmouths me to friends and strangers. This morning at 6:30 I was feeling especially low and I accidentally backed into a neighbours car. (OH was peering out of the window judging my every move). I was in a rush to get to work and no damage was done so I made a mental note to go round later. It's been on my mind all day and just now I got a phone call from my OH to have a go at me about it. I'm at my wits end with him."

Just saying, consider the other side...

worried_jim

Sounds like she's got the painters in.

Bennifred

kev225 wrote: »

I...............My OH stays at home and does the housework/looks after our son. I paid for my car, I pay it's upkeep and it does get a fair few dings and scrapes. But it's my car, my money, my choice. .....................

"Our son/home" but not "our car, our money, our choice"?:(

kev225

Bennifred wrote: »

"Our son/home" but not "our car, our money, our choice"?:(

In the same way that her shoes/clothes/jewellery is not "our shoes/clothes/jewellery".

Being in a relationship with someone does not entitle you to all their things, nor to cast judgement on how they treat their things.

fivetide

cyclonebri1 wrote: »

I stand by what I said above, it isn't a motoring issue, it's about your relationship and I'm not judging either of you.

Without judging... it's clear who wears the trousers.

5t.