should i put one of my sons in care?

inkie

Keep focussed girl - it will be worth it in the end, and keep us posted with what's happening. Sending virtual hugs and encouragement your way.

nearlyrich

What a dreadful situation for you, I hope that you can get some help using the ideas posted above, I can't begin to imagine what you must be going through, it's tough being a single parent but when there are other problems it feels much worse because there is no-one to share the load. I am sure you wouldn't be able to choose between your two children and you shouldn't have to.

Errata

Writing to PALS at Fieldhead is a sound idea, I'd like to suggest that you send a copy of your letter to Steven Michael, the Trust Chief Executive, and also to Mr Sukhdev Sharman, the Chair of the Trust. As has been suggested, it could be a good idea to see your GP about your own mental health again, you can ask the GP if they will refer you to the PLATT service. This is a special assessment team which will identify if you will be helped by some treatment in addition to the anti-depressants you are prescribed.
If the child which is giving the least trouble is helping you in anyway to 'care' for either your troublesome child or you, then Wakefield Young Carers should be able to offer help and support to the 'helping' child, which in turn would perhaps benefit you.
This may be a shot in the dark, but the Domestic Violence Unit may be able to offer you some help, if your son is threatening violence of being violent.
Best wishes and hope this helps.

UglyBetty

Unfortunately the person who advised you to put your child into care is irresponsible and misguided at best and downright dangerous at worst. An 11 year old boy in the care system has reduced life chances and will most likely face a difficult and troubled path to adulthood and beyond. However, there is help available but you might need to be persistent to access it. You are entitled to an 'assesment of need' by your local social services childcare team. A referral to CAMHS, respite care and links to local support should be just some of what may be offered. Your son's school may also be able to offer some help and advice and may contact social services if necessary. Please don't be afraid to approach them as they will help you access the help that you so desperately need. Placing a child in the care system is a last resort and they will want to help you keep your children in the family if it is at all possible.

LondonDiva

At the risk of being flamed, we don't know the extent of the child / family's problems and the best or one of the range of solutions could be a child being taken into care.

If that is what it comes to, the judgements about the type of person who lets their child be put into care... etc are unhelpful and could stop the OP or others looking for help being honest or seeking for help.

Until all options are explored, condeming or rushing to judgement is wrong.

OP, would strongly suggest you book a double appointment with your GP and discuss your concerns.

There is a very good family advocacy and advisory charity funded by the govt & councils who are very good, but I can't remember what it's called. Will look it up at work on Monday and post it to you.

poe.tuesday

Hello

Poe's other half here as I work in a special EBD school (primary) with these sort of children she told me to read this post.

As the child in special ed is the most problematic you should be able to turn to them for help. The special school should be helping more and at least putting you in contact with respite or the equivalent services to assist you with the your child who is in their care

Contact your local MP and tell him/her but also send the info to the leading opposition candidate as they are likely to get onboard that you are not getting any support with either of your children

Contact the educational welfare officer EWO connected with either/both schools, they are the ones who have to keep your child/children in education, explain to them the issues

Are they still in primary education? If they are then the relevant schools may be looking at the fact that in a term they will be somewhere else so may be reluctant to use up their resources to help.

Is the Psych you mentioned connected to the school, eg the education psych?

If he is then his comments should reflect parts of the behaviour management plan for your statemented child so he should be able to justify making them. You said that he was "their" pychiatrist. Do you mean connected to the GP surgery or to the school? Could you clarify who he is as it will be easier to sort out some relevant advice.

Cheers

Poe's Other Half

inkie

Hi Shazrobo

Just wondering how you were getting on - any steps made?

Inkie

sooty&sweep

Hi

I wouldn't be just asking for help from Social Services and Health Service I would be demanding it !!

Social Services tend to be always short of cash and so if they think you are just about coping they will leave you to get on with it.

One thing a friend did with her daughter was respite care so that her daughter was away for the weekend. Could allow you to spend 'special' time and concentrate on just one of your sons at a time and give them time apart if jealousy is a problem.

I hope things get better !!

DrFluffy

I'm so saddened at the ease of labelling a child and then throwing them on the scrap heap. Curse of modern life I guess... If something has a label it's OK... :mad::mad::mad::mad:

I just do not understand how removing a child from his family is supposed to help them... Who exactly is it supposed to help - or is the idea that the problem goes away - hopefully to a different local authority?

If you have the energy, make all the noise you can to get all the help you can... Just because something supposedly is, doesn't mean you should take it...

Good luck with what you decide, but remember - do not get rail roaded in to anything. It should be about what is right for your son and your family...

**Patty**

Another couple of points to add for you hunny


Regarding the Statementing:

Is your son (without a statement) struggling in school? If you think he would benefit from being Statemented, then put a formal request in writing to your local education office for them to statement your child.....You do not have to wait for so-called *professionals* to refer you for this!

If there is a long wait for the dietician or your GP won't refer the boys for this, then contact Dr Paul Shattock at Sunderland University . The name if his unit is Osiris....you can google it for more info.
He specialises in testing for casein/gluten intolerance in ASD/ADHD children.
Last time i checked, the test was about £60.


And if it makes you feel better.......SS are bliddy useless in East Staffordshire as well!:mad: