should i put one of my sons in care?

Crazychik

My heart goes out to you and the boys!

want to offer you Big hugs (((((hugs))))

I can only advise whats been mentioned

Contact Social Services
Find what (if any) support groups or even rest bite places are on offer in your area
Seek help and advise from your GP or health visitor, and see about changing your Phsycatrist
In my opinion - he was out of order and totally un-proffessional for him to say that.
Can the school (special needs one) help in anyway, by pointing you in the right direction for guidance!

Good luck ! xxx

emma_b_4

also, you could ask the school nurse for some advice, they are there to supprt you on all issues. i am currently out on a community pment with school nurses, they work in the community around the school, not usually within the school. ring your local health centre, doctors, or even the school to find out who they are and ring them for some advice, support and some ideas on respite for you

maybe something like homestart could help, too?

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))

emma_b_4

duplicate post, sorry x

shazrobo

hi all, i have been asking social services for help for the last 4 years and been getting nowhere. since aug of last year we have pushed even harder, changed social workers etc, but still the same response from wakefield social services, no resources are available to us.
only one child is statemented at the mo, and he is the one at the special school, his behaviour is the worse. every time he comes home from school, he is so violent towards me and his brother. he is only 11 nearly 12 but they are very big strong lads and look at least 14. the other who is at home full time at the moment isnt quite as bad, but i'm struggling.
the pychiatrist we saw was for the childrens problems, i see my gp cos i'm under so much stress that i'm takin anti depressents.
the children eat really healthy natural food, as the medication they are on causes weight gain.
i love my sons dearly, and putting any of them in care wud be a last resort, but i dont think i can carry on like this much longer, my family are startin to fear for my own safety.
thanks for reading
and thanks for all replies

Zara33

shaz you need to take this higher, by this i mean the head of social work services, YOU NEED HELP NOW!!!, tbh i would fight tooth and nail if it was me how dare anyone suggest you put one of your children in care :mad: how could you possibly choose.

Elljay_2

Just wanted to send my love and support. It must be hell for you. My stepson was excluded and diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6 he then had to miss some school until he was statemented and we managed to get him into a special school with a big fight. We also sent him to a dietician and had him tested for food allergies. We found out he was allergic to raw cane sugar and lots of preservatives and colourings. We had a whole list of things he was allergic to. We then changed his diet dramatically and noticed a MASSIVE difference in his behaviour/concentration etc. We also gave him the eye-q omega 3 liquid which seemed to help with his aggression and concentration. Maybe this could help your boys? Just a thought? I know you said your boys eat healthily but sugar is inso many things. We couldn't even give him bread or cereals or even ham. he had to have special stuff. He really was a changed child though. He is now 12 and is back in mainstream school. He is still statemented though and is getting learning support.

I am appalled at the lack of help being offered to you. Has your GP offered you no help at all?

lessonlearned

I am so sorry to hear about your problems.

I beg you do not even think about putting one child in care, it will destroy all of you.

I agree with all the other posters you must get help now. If Social Services etc or your GP won't support you, fight back!!!.

Get your MP on your side, your local newspaper, radio station, Citizen's Advice, local churches - anyone who can pull some strings & shame them into helping you, but please, please don't try to battle through this alone.

Please don't give up - your children need you.

Carmina_Piranha_3

this might be a daft suggestion so feel free to ignore it, but do homestart help with situations like this? would a volunteer take one child to play football or do an activity while you spend time with the other, and then the other gets to go somewhere on a different day?

i don't know if they help like that, or if boys brigade/scouts/etc. would take them off your hands? they go camping at weekends

our local boys brigade has a boy with behaviour problems, he really is shocking but they don't expel him because he gets a lot of benefit from joining in with the activities and trips and they realise that ADHD can affect families.

inkie

SHAZROBO - from what you have been saying, your other son is at risk from your violoent son, and therefore needs to be protected - not by them being split up, but by having a care package in place that really works.
Go to PALS at Fieldhead, and tell them the whole picture. You also need to put in writing (recorded letter ) to the head of SS (name availbale on https://www.wakefield.gov.uk your concerns and give them a deadline to respond to your letter to. Also copy this letter to you MP.
Hope that you get something sorted.

shazrobo

my sons used to go to scouts, but they were always being sent home for unruly behaviour, so at the mo there are no social activities in place for them.
The only help my gp has been is prescribing me anti depressants which dont solve anything.
the poster who mentioned the special diet, yes my sons eat a lot of healthy foods, but that includes bread and cereals, (wholewheat varieties) so i will deffinatly investigate that route.
the poster who mentioned PALS at fieldhead, thanks for that advice i will write to them as soon as the boys are in bed for the night.
i have recently wrote to my mp as previously mentioned
i love my sons so much and really would want to keep them together with me, but the fact that one is so violent towards the other is causing major probs, so all help and suggestions really appreciated, i dont want to lose my kids to the care system,
i wont give up without a fight