Should you have the same surname as your kids?

cazziebo

lazer wrote: »

that marriage is forever - until death do you part.

I wholeheartedly agree with this - unfortunately my husband didn't!

I didn't change my name when i got married but after he left I felt really strongly I wanted us all to have the same name. I had a bit of a brainstorm and changed my name to the children's (i.e. his) and after about a fortnight realised that was a bit pathetic so then changed my children to my maiden name. They were both very young and not even at playgroup etc so it was quite easy. Ex agreed - although even if he hadn't I would have gone ahead - they have 50% of my genes too! He got married again and his second wife kept her maiden name so when the four of them went on holiday there were three surnames on the tickets! Not a problem for anyone (tho' I think he got irritated being called Mr Mymaidenname at parents' nights etc!)

NoreenOMS

Another take on it.. I am proud of my Irish roots, so always said if I didn't marry someone with an Irish surname, I would keep my name. My husbands name is an English surname, but when the crunch came to the crunch, I didn't want to not have his surname- so decided to double barrel- and my husband decided to do the same.
We have been married 5 years and do not regret our decision regarding our name, and we had our first child last year, and of course he shares our family name.

I love that we have a unique family name for the 3 of us for our little family

cavework

If anyone judges people by their surname .. or even has the nerve to condemn members of a family having different surnames, it says more about them than the people they come into contact with..
As for mariage being forever?
Most people do think they are commiting forever, unfortunately people change , they grow up, situations change and as anyone who has gone through a divorce will tell the poster who is 'getting married in 3 months'
it is not an easy decision to make but is far kinder than living your whole life in misery and ruining two peoples chances of finding happiness just because the promise you made , with a big party and rose tinted glasses didn't work out.

Ellejmorgan

I have four children have been married twice..

I have: DD1 age 13, DD2 age 11, DD3 age 6, DD4 age 6 months...

DD1& 2 have the same surname by 1st marraige,
DD3 & 4 have the same surname as 2nd marraige..

My name was the same as the eldest, then the youngest and after my last divorce I decided to change mine back to the eldests surname..I did a change of name deed...

My kids aren't bothered in the slightest about their names...

neverdespairgirl

I'm in a line of work where women very rarely changes their names upon marriage - being known by your name is very important.

Older women barristers are often Miss Adams at work, and Mrs Baker the rest of the time - I can't be doing with that, far too complicated. So I'm just Miss NDG in my whole life.

My son and my dearly beloved share a surname, and mine is different. Son's just turned 7, and asked about it recently - I said I'd got the same surname as my parents, sisters and brother, and hadn't wanted to change it. He seemed remarkably unbothered.

I get called Mrs X a fair bit, but then, if I've booked something in my name and the three of us turn up, we're often called Mr, Mrs and Master NDG. I don't bother correcting anybody unless it matters, I know who they mean if they call me Mrs X!

Love, family unity and togetherness has nothing to do with surnames, as far as I'm concerned.

SingleSue

I have kept my married name as I wanted to have the same surname as my children...however, my eldest son double barrelled his name on his 16th birthday to my maiden name and his father's surname and middle son is planning on changing his name by deed poll later this year when he is 16 to my maiden name!

Re the new wife getting annoyed about the ex wife still retaining her married name, my ex's new wife made an appointment at the same hairdresser I go to (they don't live here but she wanted her hair done whilst they were down visiting) and they kept calling her Sue....she was not a happy bunny.

System

I have my bio-dad's surname where as my mum, and 3 (half) sibligs all obv have my step dad's surname. I did want to change it when younger but my bio-dad would never ave allowed it and once i was 18 although i considered it i was still in contact wit my bio-dad and he would have raised hell over it so it wasn't worth the hassle Its a shame as i'd love to take him name but i feel its a bit late now.

Taadaa

I reverted to my maiden name as l didn't want the same surname as a c u next Tuesday. I have never been called Mrs old surname - you complete contact forms for thw school so it can't be too hard for them to get it right.

My son doesn't seem to mind. About to have an LO with new husband. He is 14 now though, and pretty grounded.

mildred1978

Taadaa wrote: »

I reverted to my maiden name as l didn't want the same surname as a c u next Tuesday. I have never been called Mrs old surname - you complete contact forms for thw school so it can't be too hard for them to get it right.

My son doesn't seem to mind. About to have an LO with new husband. He is 14 now though, and pretty grounded.

Your new husband is only 14??!! :eek: :rotfl: