Should you have the same surname as your kids?

Katexx

My mom remarried a few years after getting divorced from my dad (I don't believe she went back to her maiden name in between, but I was only young so I can't remember) but my brother & I kept our surnames the same as my dads - she asked us and neither of us wanted to change our surnames. She's now divorced again but her & my half-brother kept their surnames the same as my step-dad (ex-step-dad?)...so I've had a different surname to my mom and my half-brother for the majority of my life and it's never bothered any of us, as far as I'm aware.

WickedWitch123

Hi, i've been separated for just over a year and i'm planning on changing my surname back to my maiden name. My married name just isn't 'me' anymore. My oldest child will probably change hers too when she's 16 (next year), as she won't need permission then. That'll leave my youngest with her dads name.

I think its common these days for families to have different surnames, no-one seems to bat an eyelid. Also, they're my kids no matter what.

Best of luck whatever you decide.xx

PinkLipgloss

My parents divorced when I was 11 (start of high school).

My mother said she would change her name after my sister and I finished school, however she's not gotten around to it although I think she wants to! It's been over 10 years since my sister left school.

To be honest I would have felt embarrassed if she had changed it. I didn't advertise the fact they were divorced as I didn't see it as anyone elses business. However, if my mum changed her name it could have led to questions which I would not have felt comfortable answering.

geekgirl

I kept my married name after we divorced as I wanted to have the same name as my kids. Then I met someone else, we went on to have another child and I gave him my surname so that me and all three of my children had the same name.
Me and my partner have never married so my partner has always had a different surname than us and used to constantly get called by my surname.
My partner never minded that his son didn't have his surname. My son is an adult and has never minded not having the same surname as his Dad, so it all was fine for us.

Edited to add:
Although I did hear that it sometimes irked my ex's new wife that I still had his name hee hee, it's the little things

bestpud

It's very common for children to have a different name from one or both parents so I doubt your children will give it a second thought.

If you don't want to keep your married name then I think you should change it - no point keeping a name you don't like for the sake of something that is very unlikely to happen.

FWIW I know someone who treated a surname in the same way as the forename when she named her children - they each have a made up surname that was unrelated to the mother or father!

peachyprice

I kept my ex's name when we divorced, then reverted to my maiden name briefly before I remarried so that I could remarry in my maiden name, I now have my OH's name. My sons have their father's name, it's who they are and I wouldn't dream of changing it. DD has our married name, again that's who she is and I would never change it.

No-one has ever batted an eyelid at our array of names and I'll answer to any of them, it really doesn't bother me. Infact sometimes I still use my ex's name when dealing with my stuff for my sons, it's just easier.

floss2

I kept my married name when I divorced, my boys were 11 & 13, as it was easier for them while they were at school.

Then 7 years later in 2006 I moved to my now DH's town and we married in 2010.

With hindsight i should have reverted back to my maiden name when i moved to a new town, where nobody knew me as the boys' mum. The consolation is that i gave away the old married name to take my new hubby's name in front of all my family & friends.

pandora205

I changed my name back to my maiden name as soon as we separated. The children retained their father's. It's never caused embarrassment or problems as it is very common these days. Occasionally, I'll correct someone who assumes I'm Mrs X (and why would I be automatically anyway - lots of people don't take their partner's name on marriage).

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

My mother kept her married name even after having been separated for nine years, starting divorce proceedings, meeting my father, having me and her ex dying.


I really object to carrying another bloke's name around. Especially as it is a fairly distinctive one in the area :whistle:.

But she says it was/is her name, so I had to have it.


I am sure it couldn't possibly have been anything to do with her qualifying for widowed mother's pension based upon her ex's quite substantial national insurance contributions.

There was NO way my children were going to be lumbered with a surname belonging to a long dead man who was no relation to me, would certainly have not wanted his NI to go to support me and would have caused them untold grief throughout their lives.

System

I changed my childrens surname from my exes surname to my new husbands surname when i remarried. When i came to have children with my new husband i didnt want my older children to have a different surname to mine.

My ex wasnt on the scene so i never asked his permission (wouldnt have known how to contact him anyway). As far as i know he found out when my kids (by him) and his child by his new wife (who by that time was his ex) met at high school.